Chapter 36

I was standing by the front door with my back to it. Still wearing my pj's which were a loose white vest and sleep shorts with lord of the rings written on the ass, compliments of my friend, Diane who was a kickass wedding planner and one of the few ‘Normal' friends Papa actually liked. My hair was piled up onto the top of my head with a paintbrush holding it up and my feet were bare and a bit dirty from lounging at the pool while I waited for my Painting to dry so I can do touch ups. It was just after 2 in the afternoon. Papa had called me and asked if I could open the door for his ‘Guest'. I decided to do it on my own, rather than call one of our house ladies. I was not lazy and I thought this guest could be Filippo or Guilia. This was not the case. When I opened the door, and looked up it was none other than Marco fucking Catelli. He was looking delicious and I wanted him to be there to whisk me away and do dirty things to me that I saw Lucifer do to Eve on Netflix the night before. But instead of greeting me and doing those things, he stood there staring at me. His gaze dropping to study my entire body, from my dirty size 6 feet, to my bare legs and knees that must have been shaking, to the vest that belonged to my brother until I swiped it, and my bra less pointy breast which I was certain dimmed compared to his lovely Camilla. Which was the reason as to why I watched him, silently fuming and cursing the day he was born as I gave him the death glare to end all death glares in my mind. Obviously, in reality I didn't have the courage to lose my shit with him, and secretly I was hoping he would say something. Anything. He didn't. He tightened his jaw, grabbed a hold of my hips, completely not caring about ‘boundaries' and moved me out of the way. I did glare at him then and he arched his brow as to say ‘What are you going to do about it?' Papa came in then, and I rushed away after he informed me that I had paint all over my cheek. Since then I ducked when Marco was near, and I avoided him like he was infected with the coronavirus. I still saw him from my window, or the security room which was packed with surveillance cameras. So maybe I was exaggerating a bit about him avoiding me, okay well maybe a lot. But he knew I was around, he could have come to find me. He didn't. I'm not sure why I care so much for the mad man, but I do and I can't tell anyone, even Deno who knows that I still harbor feelings for Marco. He spoke about him often enough, and even suggested that Marco and I should be friends, but I never said a thing, not even to agree to it. Sometimes secrets are what keep us alive. This is for the best. Our moments are nothing more than a memory. Fleeting. I say those words when I hear his name, or see him from the safety of my window as he steps into my home. A lie I have come to believe at least where Marco is concerned. Guilia spins around and rolls her eyes at me when I throw my white and pink emoticon pillow at her when she sticks out her butt. She barely manages to walk toward where I am sitting on my bed before falling flat on her face. I laugh, my words are choked as I say, 'You look ridiculous, you can't even walk." She makes a deep throaty sound of frustration, which causes me to laugh louder, 'At least tell me you will consider Deno?" "No, Yana. I like him Marco. He is a much better option than anyone Papa would choose and I am a better choice than Camilla. She isn't sweet enough, she reminds me of an evil villain. I don't trust her." She smiles at me, as she moves her hair out of her make-up free face, giving me that look that I know isn't going to go away because she believes in what she says. 'You only don't trust her because you want her man," I tease her as she manages to turn on the side, facing my sitting form. She touches my nose when I scrunch it up knowing she is not going to be happy when he breaks her heart like he broke mine. But nor am I able to take Guilia serious with her wild hair failing all over her face, or her crazy eyes that are suddenly looking at me as if I stole her favorite shoes. Considering she loves all of them, in fact Guilia loves all things fashion. Opposite to me. 'Maybe you should come with me for Lunch with Deno, he is really nice." I suggest it as I stare at the seam of the pink dress, looking ready to rip off her body. She has filled out these passing months. My sister has a curvy body now compared to 6 months ago, where she was almost straight with a bit of ass. She is all woman now. Ready to be a wife. "No, we all can't be a second daughter and sneak around with a group of very sexy, dangerous Made-Men. Or be friends with our future Capo, while he whisks you away to some romantic secret place to devour you. If I even visited Azure, Papa will not think twice about turning my ass a few shades of purple, that is after Filippo gets to me." "You mean a half-blood daughter, and you are too old to get a hiding. Plus I didn't get devoured. I told you Deno and I didn't sneak off. He was driving really fast." I clarify as my sister flicks her dark hair out of her face trying to get up from the bed and failing. She huffs and I chuckle at her position. I am not helping her. 'So you say, but I don't believe you, and you will never admit it, I was surprised when you called to tell me you've been ducking around at night. And I know it is for my own good even though I am older than you. But, either way you look at it, you can sneak out at night, meet a hot man and fall deep in love with him, I can't. I can't even leave our home without Ilaria asking me a billion questions. I wish I was you." The true reason why Papa would let me marry whom I choose was only because I was part Russian. It wasn't my age, but the other half of my genetics that allowed me options and that is something Guilia always forgot. 'No you don't, trust me." There are pros and cons to being me. The pros is my freedom to an extent as Papa recently reminded me, I still have chains. The other pro is not getting married to some ugly old fat man because I have a duty to my family and that is about it. The cons are more. One of those cons where the fact that I had to marry a Made-Man, and he had to be of high rank. Which I thought would be easy a few months back. But considering that I have given an eye to a number of guys from Campus I knew were made. Well, more than a few times in my attempt to rid myself of my Catelli addiction which I admit failed miserably, I had to rethink things. What I found was that my father's restrictions to my eventual marriage was going to leave me without a husband. A high rank Italian Made-Man didn't want a Mezzosangue as Marco called me, as a wife. They wanted a nice Italian beauty who wore fancy dresses and sky-high heels like Camilla and my sister. I hated heels, and dresses were something I only wore when I had a bikini underneath or I was attending the rare function with my family. And I was not someone who smiled when I didn't want to. I also had an education that I would one day like to use. Yes, a high rank Made-Man would not appreciate any of that. Another thing was my relationship with Mero, Michel, Gabriel and Deno. I couldn't see a life without them. And the occasional visit from Dexter, or Elisa. Getting a guy who is going to love me, and still get the approval stamp from Papa is something which is not going to be easy, for a list of reasons. One of them being the sole fact that our kid will have Bratva blood in their veins. That isn't going to go down well, as my first child will also have to be given to that said Bratva. Which meant a war as I would not allow that to happen. The other reason is the part where I am Sartini Capello's half-blood daughter. My father is a scary man, and the scowl on his face he manages to keep in company doesn't allow for an easy conversation to say ‘I want to marry your daughter.' Well, marriage for me was not going to be easy, and I am relieved Papa hasn't broached the subject. He seems content to have me home, unmarried for now. On one side I am glad but, on the other, there is this part that wants something I can't have and I wish my father could give it to me. Marco was right when he said I didn't want the choice. The choice or choices didn't want me either. Maybe that is the reason I always chose to take risks. Papa has loved me from the day he saw me, and he has claimed me as his favorite from then too. A Russians' daughter. But I knew if it wasn't for the mask, I wore of my mother that would not be the case. My mother was killed years back in a gun down. It was the one time, Guilia ever saw Papa cry. Some blamed the Irish, others blamed the Russians, and the Germans but no one knew who it was besides my Papa who was set on revenge. With Ren it was a similar death, a gun down. The worst way to die. After Capo Marcello lost his son, our men were going wild. For the past few months they have hunted down and I am certain, killed many people. But they don't know who is responsible. I do, as well as Deno, Michel, Mero, Gabriel, begrudgingly Marco and an old friend, Dexter. Michel, Mero and Gabriel wanted revenge, but Deno had a plan and acting out isn't part of it. I was still uncertain which of my friends were behind it. Or if any. My sister's butt sticks out as she finally manages to get herself off the bed from wiggling her stomach down the mattress. She looks crazy. Regardless of how my life has been these past months, I sit on the edge of my bed and I laugh as I smack her butt - hard. Guilia grabs my small cream throw pillow and hits my head with it. I grab the big continental behind me and fling it on her head. She flops back on the bed laughing. 'Not funny Yana." Her carefree, untarnished eyes smile at me. It makes me a bit jealous of her. I would never have that. I never got the chance to be so innocent. Papa made sure his favorite daughter knew no such luxury when he decided to send me into Russo territory and then decided he would teach me a Bratva tradition. When I was twelve my Papa found one of the men who killed my mother. He kept the guy locked up for weeks. I was home for winter break, my mind was stuck on the Harry Potter books and the painting I was working on was my vision of Hogwarts. Papa called for me, he always sent our house ladies. This time he sent a soldier to call me, Quintin. I followed him down to the study unaware of what I was walking into. When I knocked on his door, he told me to come in. It was the middle of winter and I had this baggy old t-shirt Filippo gave me, with sleeping beauty painted on it in mixed colors. Papa told me to hurry up, and I knew he was in the secret room behind the bookshelves. The one we were forbidden to go in. He told me to come, not be scared. I was twelve, he was allowing me into a forbidden room, how could I not be scared. I was clueless as I stepped into the room. I was the same age a male man becomes a Made-Man. And like a right of passage for our men, in secret with people I can't remember, in the middle of winter, my Papa gave me mine when he placed a gun in my hand and told me that the man on the chair bleeding in the middle of the room, was the one who killed my mother. I knew what he expected me to do, I didn't need to be told and I didn't hesitate as I put those bullets in the man's head. One for every time Guilia had heard my father cry out my mother's name. One for my sister who will never know the love of her parents and one for my Papa, because unlike me who had never tasted the sweet bliss of my mother's smile and witnessed her vibrancy he spoke about, he did. I expected something reverie to happen after I killed him, satisfaction. Something that would tell me this day was something special, even if it was from horror stories whispered to little kids, but I felt nothing. The gun was loud and it hurt my ears, maybe a bit heavy too. The man's body jerked with every shot and I might have heard a few gasps, but me? I felt nothing. Maybe nothingness is a feeling. Papa told me to leave after that and I did. I went back upstairs to my room and finished my painting. Since that day I have lived up to my name. I am a killer, and my father's daughter. I am also the one who knows his secret and it is not Elisa Russo. My father's secret is much bigger than his infidelity and the punishment for those crimes are death. "Aliyana, drivers here" Papa screams from the bottom of the staircase. 'Coming old man," I yell back. Yeah, I am my father's daughter. My long hair brushes my back as I jump off the bed. I grab my black converse shoes that lay on opposite ends of my bedroom. They are a bit dirty, but I love them. Shoving them in my laptop bag, I grab my leather satchel. Turning in time to watch my sister on her phone, in that pink tight dress. "Guilia?" "Yeah," She looks up to me, and smiles. "You always look best in blue." I wink as I open the door and rush down the stairs barefoot. "Did you remember to take your shoes?" Papa says as he walks into the entrance way opening the door for me. I smile, "Yes Papa. Love you, old man," I kiss my Papa on his cheek and rush toward the Bentley double checking I packed my shoes in my bag just in case. "Morning Jere," I say to the driver. Since the death of Ren my father and siblings have relocated to Washington State, I'm just glad it isn't with me, they were living in Kirkland. My Papa said I could continue with my studies as long as I came home before 7. The drive from my University to Bellingham is a distance so I understood his paranoia. What I didn't like was Matteo Di Salvo in my space. Today he wasn't with us for the drive, but true to word for the last 6 months Matteo has been my new soldier. And he has a voice he loves and I despise. I had to beg Papa to send Jere and let Romero and Michel guard me today so I can fetch my friends without his interference. Matteo was of no use to me, just a hindrance I wanted to get rid of. My night time activities had come to an almost complete stop even before Papa punished me. Which meant I didn't see Elisa as often as I wanted to, which wasn't often at all. I still snuck out to the guys, and Deno covered me at other times but since Papa has now stated he didn't want me ‘disappearing' with Fuckin' Deno fuckin' Catelli, Deno covering for me didn't seem like a possibility in any near future. I had to give Matteo points for his loyalty to Papa though, but I wanted that loyalty aimed to me. I needed it to be. "Morning Miss Capello, shall we go fetch Miss Bray?" Jere is a 40-year-old soldier. His father and brothers have been protecting the Consigliere of The Capo Dei Capi for years. In our world, trust and honor goes along way. He isn't an Italian but to be a part of the The Capo Dei Capi's people Papa said, breed was not something taken into account. "Yes, and Josey too please." "Yes ma'am." 'Jere, do you think we can stop at Kylie's house for a bit after I come home and change?" 'Sure, your father said he didn't mind you going out Miss Capello, he just wants you home before it gets late." 'I know, but sometimes what my father says and ends up doing is the complete opposite." 'Mr Capello just wants you safe Miss Capello." I sigh, as a text comes to my phone. Where are you, what did guard boy say? Leonardo will be there ;) .KB Kylie's text makes me smile for 2 reasons, 1 because I still had her thinking I was completely hooked on Leonardo which I was planning on clarifying soon. The 2nd was because she was Kylie Bray, and an awesome friend with a personality as vibrant as the smile she always blessed you with. I don't respond to her because we are already at her gate. Kylie used to drive to campus every day, her place isn't very far from mine, so recently I started fetching her after Vincent gave me a call. Why he chose to treat her like nothing but behind her back keep her safe was something I didn't understand and didn't want to understand since I gave him a wide berth and he did the same with me. For good reason. Diamond, Ren's girlfriend couldn't stay with others due to her destructive temper and her mind. I knew she was a genius but I didn't know how dangerous a genius she was until I found out she was the reason the Bratva kidnapped Kylie's brother, Jace Stone. Diamond was also the reason Kylie gave up the sorority life and chose to drive an hour and a half to Campus every day. This I found out from the guys, meaning Mero, Michel and Gabriel, and a bit from a very drunken Kylie. Diamond and Kylie are close, closer than sisters. I envy their bond. They would never feel loneliness because they will always have each other. I will never have that, I was born in a lonely world, where every move has to be precisely orchestrated if you wish to stay just a bit longer and though I have the boys and Deno they were getting older. Soon their loyalty will change, and so would mine.