Chapter Thirty

She had just finished watching the news, and while Bukunmi had prayed that Tade would get a lesser sentence, it sure had been less, but not as little as she had wanted it. Three months ago, Tade had been arrested, along with Drago, and many of the other men that had worked for his deceased father. Their hideouts had been rampaged, and as the incidents were posted online and on the television, along with reports on the radio and many articles on the newspapers, many people who had been victims of A-Money's wrath showed up with receipts to testify against them. When asked why they hadn't come sooner, they said that their lives had been threatened, and they were scared of risking their lives to testify against them. The odds were stacked against Tade and his cohorts, and for investigation purposes, the headquarters at Welling Fam Heights and all its other branches had been closed with no hope of ever being reopened. Bukunmi felt bad, blaming herself continuously for being the reason behind thousands of people losing their jobs, and soiling the name and reputation of Tade Wellington and his father. She wished things had turned out differently, and tried to survive with each day that passed, convincing herself that she had done the right thing. She had wanted to testify in Tade's favour in court, saying that he's a good person, and that he had turned out the way he had because of improper parental upbringing, which wasn't his fault, and that the law should temper justice with mercy. However, Tade had refused her from testifying, warning her sternly when she had showed up at his detention centre, not to show up in front of him again, or in his words, pretend to be a good person. Understanding why he was so mean to her, and in order to help him in the little way she could, Bukunmi had pleaded with Nneoma, Kate, Itohan, and Ben to act as witnesses for her sake, and they had done so. Although she hadn't been in court during all his hearings, the video recordings of it had been posted everywhere, and she had watched how cool and relaxed Tade looked throughout his trial. To Kate, he seemed like an annoying overbearing boss at first, but she had come to learn that he was a good person, who never delayed his workers' salaries, and acknowledged his personal assistant for writing his speech, and wasn't even embarrassed to admit that he wasn't good with English Language and Literature-in-English. Itohan had testified that he always did what was best for the company, and that if he had done anything wrong, she was sure that he didn't intend to, and he was only a product of bad parental upbringing. Nneoma had started by saying she had met Tade at a club, and had thought that he was trying to take advantage of her drunk friend, but instead, he had helped her stand upright, and had even gone out of his way to get her a job. She informed the court that for eleven years, Tade had felt guilty and kept on sending flowers to her friend, and assisting her with cash when she needed it. Bukunmi later came to find out that it wasn't only she who had benefitted from his generosity, which he did to quell the guilt he felt when anyone died. Two people, upon hearing the testimonies Kate, Itohan and Nneoma had given, had come to the court, showing evidence of Tade sending them a huge amount of money when they had lost their fathers. They hadn't understood why, but had known that it had something to do with A-Money, because of the little their fathers have told them. After finding out Tade used the letter, 'T", they had found out that he had been the one to send the money, as that was the letter printed on the envelope which contained the money, that was sent via post. Bukunmi was very sure that apart from them, there were others who Tade might have helped, and hoped sincerely for him to be granted bail and released on patrol, but as usual, life did what it wanted to do, without giving the slightest care to her feelings. His friend, Francis, had confessed to have known Tade for many years, but had not known that he was involved in a dubious business. He narrated how Tade would come to his house to hide away from his father. According to him, back then, he hadn't understood why, but he did now, and wished things had turned out differently. He appealed to the court to grant him bail, because he had been traumatised into doing all that he had done. Ben had told the court that Tade had paid off the debt owed to Uncle Gbenga, which Bukummi had found out about just the day he mentioned it. She had been saving up, so she could give her mother the complete money at once, and upon finding out that the money had been paid without anyone informing her about it, the excuse her mother had given was that she had thought she knew about it, since she and Tade were very close. The court, in giving their judgment, pronounced that it had been proven beyond reasonable doubt that Tade Wellington was a good person, and had good intentions, but his upbringing affected him as well; still, that was not a sufficient excuse to cover up all the illegal and immoral things he had done. To the court, if he had been involved in those things only as a child or teenager, he may have been acquitted on bail, but the fact that he continued in the same path when he was of full age and capacity, erased that excuse, although not in totality. The court, relying on the evidence and testimonies given, pronounced Tade guilty of misdemeanours, and convicted him for Kidnapping, Conspiring to murder, and Conspiracy to commit felony, as pertaining to Sections 364, 324 and 516 of the 1999 constitution of the Federal Republic of Nigeria (as amended), respectively, sentencing him to twelve years imprisonment, adding that the case could be contested for in a higher court of jurisdiction. At that point, Bukunmi wanted to cry, but for the first time, tears refused to show up. Lately, she had cried too much, that her eyes were dried of tears. Her lips could only quiver, as her fingers trembled, making futile efforts to not reveal her disarranged state. Her heartbeat was on the rise, and she fell to her knees, holding the left part of her chest tightly, trying to stop her heart from breaking the way it did, unable to come to terms with the reality of things. With Tade being gone and finding out two months ago that she was pregnant with his child, which wasn't known to anyone yet; how was she to cope? Why had she felt that she had only been doing the right thing, when she had known from the onset that she was setting herself up for destruction? She knew then that she had been stupid to think that Tade would forgive her for telling on him, and had been wrong to assume that he would be given a five-year term or be granted bail, and acquitted. She should have discussed her fears and thoughts with him, and weighed more properly the pros and cons of making that decision. Her whole family was at the hearing, and she was just at home, thinking of how she was to live. Her mother would lay curses on her for daring to carry the child of such an abominable person as she had started calling Tade after the whole incident spread like wildfire, and her brother, who she had preached abstinence to would be so disappointed. Nneoma was going to ask her if she didn't have the common sense to use birth control pills or ask Tade to put on a condom, and tell her to thank her stars that she hadn't contracted HIV at least. The only person who was going to be happy about the news of her pregnancy would be Alhaja Pelumi, who believed children were a gift from God, and would be glad to be alive to see her great grandchild, whatever the sex was. When the news had gotten out, her mother had been like, 'How you survived and grew up well despite watching how your father died, I'll never know, but I'm proud of you. Not only did you manage to fool those useless demons who were responsible for the death of your father, by pretending to be interested in the job, and acting like you were in love with that good-for-nothing Tade, you succeeded in sending them behind bars. At first, I was pissed that you had gone to work for the same people who had not showed up when your father died, but I'm glad that you made that decision," She had said. Honestly, she had wanted to correct her mother when she had said that she pretended to be in love with Tade, but she kept mute, because she knew her mother was like wind that changed with time. All of a sudden, she had forgotten all the good qualities Tade possessed and all the good things he had done for them, and she really didn't want to be involved in her mother's drama again. However, Nneoma was very much aware that she had truly loved Tade, and that she still did, and in her words, 'Bukunmi, trust me, you did the right thing. If you hadn't done what you did, you'd feel guilty for the rest of your life for covering up the truth about your father's murderers, and do you really want to wake up each day to the face of the person who had a hand in the death of your father? I get that you still love Tade and you miss him, but the pain you feel right now will go away in the twinkling of an eye, and it can't be compared to the everlasting guilt that would have clung on to you assuming you had remained silent about things," Nneoma had said. 'I know that I probably did the right thing, but why does it hurt this much? Tade doesn't even want to speak to me ever again, and I've ruined everything," Bukunmi had told her, sobbing hard. Nneoma shrugged. 'Well, you should have known that once you made that decision, your relationship with him would never remain the same again. Maybe he could have forgiven you after sometime, but you should have cancelled that consideration the moment his father committed suicide. For life, he would keep on blaming you for the death of his father, even though we all know his father would have been given a death sentence anyway. 'People always look for who to blame, even when it is clear that they are at fault, and you certainly can not choose to let yourself be bothered about that. You know what matters? It's you knowing deep down that you did nothing wrong. Brace yourself, and move on with your life, instead of blaming yourself because a self-centred narcissistic jerk wants you to," She concluded. Bukunmi stood up, and began to walk dejectedly, unable to refrain from blaming herself for all that had happened. It was hard for her to come to terms with the fact that it was all over. Her life had already been a mess, and Tade had given her life a meaning. Now, that she didn't have him anymore, she wasn't sure she wanted to go back to how life was before she had met him. She went to the bathroom, and picked up the bottle of Sniper, an insecticide, which worked magically and instantly on insects, and also, on people. She wanted to end her life. She was done with living. In any moment, her mother would barge into the house, singing praises to God for putting her enemies to shame, then would make her life a living hell when she found out that she was three months pregnant with Tade's child. Forever, her mother would leave no stone unturned in making life unbearable for her. What would people even say? They'd call her foolish for getting pregnant for her father's murderer. In the past, maybe she'd have been able to ignore comments and live her life the way she deemed it fit, but her soul was already badly damaged, and since Tade had given her a happy life, she didn't want to know how it felt to be sad and empty again. If she couldn't get Tade back even in twelve years time, what was the point of living? As she opened the bottle, the voice in her head attempted to refrain her from making a life altering decision. 'Why don't you just abort the child? That way, people will never find out you once carried Tade's child, and will keep on praising you for being a good daughter, who avenged her father's death." She considered the thought for a moment, then shook her head in negativity, declining that thought. 'I don't have the heart to abort my own child," She responded, aloud. 'But you have the heart to kill it?" The voice asked. 'What would you rather have me do then?" She yelled back, tears dripping from her eyes. Surprisingly, the voice went mute, and didn't bother her with its annoying words again. Bukunmi buried her head in the sink, her once dried ocean of tears, spilling in torrents, breaking her already shattered heart over and over again. The voice was right. The child had done nothing wrong, and she couldn't just end its life like that. Instead, she could start a new life elsewhere, far from her mother's constant nagging, and without the need to explain herself to neighbours and other members of the society who now knew her simply because the police had disclosed that she was a good citizen who had given information on criminals. For the first time, she mouthed a thank you to her subconscious, or the voice in her head, closed the bottle, and with a new mind-set, left the bathroom. She called her mother on the phone, asking her to go to an eatery to wait for her as she wanted to treat them to a delicious meal, to celebrate their supposed victory. Her mother had been delighted to hear her say that, but Bukunmi knew that she was not treating them to anything, and by the time they realised that she wasn't going to show up, she would have bought enough time to leave the country to start a new life in Ghana. She picked up a small travelling bag and a suitcase, and threw stuff she felt she needed inside, along with the expensive jewelleries, bags, and clothes that Tade had gifted her in the space of two months, hoping to sell them, in order to start something meaningful with her life. When she was done with packing her things, she went to the bathroom to wash her face, trying so hard to remove every trace that said that she had been crying, then had her bath, and wore a pair of jeans trousers and a casual t-shirt, which reminded her of how Tade had looked the last time she had seen his face. Brushing aside any thoughts of Tade at that moment, she made sure to pick her credit and debit cards, which she threw in a small bag, which she hung loosely over her shoulders, then wheeling the suitcase on one hand, and carrying the travelling bag in the other, dragged herself to the living room. Instead of making it seem like she had been abducted by not saying a word, Bukunmi decided to write a letter to let her mother know that she had left the house on her own accord. Firstly, she requested for an Uber driver, that would take her to the airport, and as she waited for him to show up, she flexed her knuckles, and began writing her letter to her mother, brother, grandmother and Nneoma, hoping she got to finish, before the Uber driver showed up. 'Contrary to what you might think, Mami, I didn't pretend to love Tade. I truly loved him, and I still do, irrespective of what he might have done in the past. I didn't want to fall in love with him, and I tried to suppress my feelings, but I couldn't stop myself anymore. You know, when you're going down the wrong road, but something...just a little part of you is hoping that the road might be the right path after all? Well, maybe I should have tried harder, and listened to the voice in my head...the voice that said: ‘Hey, stop, you'll get hurt.' Anyways, there's obviously no use in crying over spilt milk, as it wouldn't change what has already happened..." Her phone rang, and when she picked, it was the Uber driver who was on the phone, who informed her that he was parked right outside her house. 'That was really fast. I'll be out in a jiffy," She said, then ended the call. 'Mami, there are many things I still wish to pen down, but the most important thing is that I'm with child, and yes, it's Tade's baby. I already know that you would try to make my life a living nightmare if I remain home, so, I'm leaving for another country. Please, don't bother to look for me, and don't blame yourself for anything. I love you, Ben, grandmother, and Nneoma so very much. Tell Kate and Itohan that I'm very much grateful for testifying in favour of Tade on my behalf. I'll miss you." She then folded the paper which contained the letter, and on it, wrote, 'To Màámi, who I spell as Mami." She wanted to remove only her SIM card, but changed her mind, and just left her phone on the folded paper, holding it down to prevent it from getting blown away. It was high time she changed the phone anyway, she reasoned, standing to her feet. Why do we break our hearts with our own hands? Why do we do things that will only hurt us? Why do we make choices that will haunt us forever? As she wheeled her suitcase, with the bag in her hand, and her mini bag, still hanging loosely from her shoulders, those questions flooded her mind. When the driver sighted her, he rushed out of the car to get her things and hurled them into the boot of the car. Looking into the side mirror as she sat in the backseat, she saw a dishevelled picture of who she wasn't, but who she had become in the space of a few months. Patting her stomach lightly as if to tell her child that everything was okay and they'd be fine, she smiled hopefully, praying to have a better life, with her child by her side.