Chapter 19

"But the rose leaves herself upon the brier, For winds to kiss and grateful bees to feed. - John Keats Katrina stared at the red folder that was now in her hands with a look of disbelief in her eyes. When she had given it to him, she had not expected that he would sign them, not this fast anyway. She had expected him to at least give her a fight and that alone had given her the confidence and comfort that he was somehow still hers. Warped as it was that was just but the only relationship that she had ever known with Ryan. He may have been a friend before and to some point, he was now somehow chummy, but she knew how his mind worked. Causing her grief was just about the only thing that he lived for. Now that he had given her freedom, she did not know how to feel or even what to think about it and as she stared down at it, with tears welling up in her eyes, threatening spill out, Katrina mourned this chapter that had just been closed in her sad life. What would she do now? She looked around the busy workshop that was full of hands and tools crafting the finest of baby furniture and bedroom pieces. Custom-made works that suited everyone from every walk of life and meaningful as they had once seemed, it suddenly felt drab. Did it also mean that she would now lose his friendship? While drafting the agreement Katrina had not thought about things that far. Of what would happen to the cordial relationship that they had developed after the revelation of her pregnancy. Of the camaraderie and it made her wonder if he would even care to come to her appointments now that his time with this child was finally guaranteed. She would soon find out. She knew that. Katrina left the workshop and retreated into the main house. She stored away from the folder in her handbag and moved to prepare for the return journey to the capital. Her new company truck was full and her driver was waiting in the van with all the beddings and the new tapestries that her seamstresses had made. After leaving the new plans in the care of the workshop manager, Katrina climbed into the passenger seat of the van and signaled for the truck driver to leave. Behind them, she followed with her driver in the van. "And he had it sent all the way here?" Katrina muttered to herself, so quietly that the driver did not catch it. "He must have wanted me to have them so bad that he traced my location and mailed them here where I was. Or may be..." She quickly stopped her train of thought, keeping herself from further hypothesizing. Something that would do her nothing good. She would only stress herself and despite having just begun her second trimester, stress was still not good for the baby or her health in general. No, there was no point in stressing herself out. The ifs and the when's of what he had done would just have to wait until her next appointment for ironing out which was also great as it happened to be the very next day. *** Despite telling himself not to worry, Ryan was quite nervous even as he waited for Katrina to show up. Would she even come? The thought reared its head. After the courier had a comeback with papers he had had them mailed to the countryside. Just yesterday he had received the report that they had been delivered and it made him wonder what she thought about it. What would she think that he had given up on her? He had only wanted to give her peace. To close that chapter of their sad past. Maybe now they could start all over again. Afresh now that no threats or compulsions were forcing them together and if he managed to convince her, maybe he would get the chance to propose properly as they renewed their relationship. Ryan continued to think up to the point when the subject of his thoughts showed up, stepping into the clinic in a white body con dress that revealed the slight bulge of her burgeoning stomach. He stood up and went over to greet her. "You are here?" She asked him. She must have expected that he would walk away now that he had signed the papers. After all, that was what he had done with his other child. However, in his defense, the circumstances in that situation with Malisha were different from this one. She was now a married woman and his child did not even know him. Maybe in another lifetime, probably in some years to come, he would try again and if he was lucky his son would come to him seeking a relationship. Until then he would work hard to be a man that deserved the honor of being called his father. "Hi Katrina." He managed to smile despite the wayward emotions that were tearing at his heart. "And yes I am here. From the beginning, I expressed my intentions clearly, didn't I?" "Yes you did." she agreed. A tight smile now gracing her features. He hoped that he had not made her feel uncomfortable and moved to quickly rectify that. "Though I would totally understand if you have your reservations and are not comfortable with having me in the same room as you now that we are no longer married. I deserve it, I know. After all I was the one who deserted you in our matrimonial home." What on earth was wrong with him? Katrina frowned. He had signed the papers and yet he was still acting so considerate? What did he even have to gain by it? All this kindness was going against everything that she knew about him. "I gave my word, so..." She said as she moved to walk towards the receptionist's desk. She was still thinking about it and it puzzled her to no end that she could not figure out his end game. "Thank you." She had him whisper behind her before also moving to join her at the receptionist's desk. "Good afternoon Mrs Thorpe, Mr Thorpe." The receptionist beamed. "The doctor is waiting." She said as she walked over to open the corridor door. "Thank you Lillian." Ryan smiled as she ushered Katrina in before walking in after her. "I do not understand." Katrina finally decided to voice her thoughts out aloud after an entire afternoon of a surprise after surprise. "I divorced you. Why are you being so nice to me." She could not help but sound blunt. Ryan smiled at her over the dinner he had treated her to. In his car were also bags of shopping, maternity items, and baby clothes for the baby girl he was sure they were going to have. "What is a man in love to do, but to grant the every desire of his beautiful heart?" At first, Katrina thought that he must have been joking. He had to be. Such a cheesy line and then, it suddenly dawned on her that the man was serious. She did not know when a mouth dropped wide open. Neither was she aware when her lips parted to emit a shocked gasp. For how could a wonderful thing such as love be possible between her and Ryan. After all the pain and deception. The threats and the looming divorce that was now hanging over their marriage. Still, he said nothing to contradict those words that he had just spoken, and that alone confirmed to her that he was serious. "But you signed the documents?" Katrina whispered. "Only because that was what you wanted. If it made you happy and less guilty about everything, then, I had no choice but do it. Though, I would rather have you not feel any guilt for what is done is done. What I ask though is that you give me a chance to show you my true intentions, my change of heart and how serious I am about making us work." "Your intentions?" She croaked out her voice now but a hoarse whisper. "I'd like to court you afresh, like you really deserve. I know fully well that I deserve all the thorns that you have put out and that is only because you are a rose. Soft and beautiful, precious but not fragile and in that regard, I will always disagree with your father." "My father? You've spoken to him?" "Indeed I have. To speak my mind and to apologise for how I have treated you as his daughter. Now that that is done, I can only beg for your forgiveness and in time I hope that I can earn your trust also." Katrina could not believe her ears. Trust he had said, the very same thing that Mrs. Beufont had been speaking to her about in their phone calls. At that moment it had not made much sense. She had hoped, however, to clarify the matter with her teacher now that she was coming to the capital after being promoted to the rank of regional youth director, but now, hearing Ryan speak those words brought a new light to it all. "Trust?" She whispered. That was what she had lost those years ago on that fateful night. The night of her wedding. She did not hate Ryan perse but neither could she find the guts to allow herself to rely on him. Be it emotionally or physically and that was the reason she had instigated that divorce. "Yes, I have deceived you in the past. Been so cruel that I should not even face you, but please, allow me this moment of selfishness. Tjat in this regard that despite my unworthiness, I may be worthy of a chance to prove my worth to you. By the end of it, if you are not satisfied I promise to remove myself from your life and your path and to no longer bother you." He told her earnestly, but that was not what she wanted. She did not want him to go neither did she want h to stop bothering. In essence, she wanted to very much be bothered and Katrina's heart cried at the notion of the looks of that. How hopeless she was in regards to this golden-haired man who had stolen her heart with just one glance. He had messed her up and yet she was willing to give him another chance? Was she that weak or did her heart acknowledge that this man had changed? Did it know? Was it aware where her mind refused to see? "Do you mean all this?" "Yes." He said, hanging from his chair in a manner that suggested that he would soon be on his knees if that was what it took to convince her. "Will you please get up and don't even think of using that to blackmail me." She said looking around the restaurant to make sure that they had not yet drawn any unwarranted attention. "I wouldn't dare." He smiled rather roguishly. "And yet I doubt that." She paused for a moment to think of something. "I haven't filed the papers yet..." She started. "And you are wondering what to do?" He completed her sentence. "In a way yes. I still have my doubts about you, but I know deep down that this is different from that other facades that you have pulled before.At that time, You only tried to convince others, but never me. It was never for me. That said, once bitten twice shy and I would be lying to say that I am jumping up for this idea." "But..." "Trust is given not earned and I am so curious to see what you are all about." she finished. "Could it be that your are feelings are actually warm towards me?" He smiled and she glared at him. "You are the one who said that not me." "And I will gladly repeat it for you to hear. I love you Katrina Dienda Maracheli Thorpe. I must have been a fool to not see you for who you are and a bigger fool for attempting to break you. You are kind and considerate and all so full of life. You are incredibly strong and like a rose you have open up youself countlessly but I was too blind to see. For all of these virtues, I am proud to say that I am pleased that you are this child's mother." He gushed as she blushed prettily. "Now, I really can't tell you what to do in that regard as you are totally capable of making that decision all on your own. It is your life after all but I would like you to consider this, that you now have my heart and I am willing to go great lengths to have you by my side." Well put, Katrina smiled at his eloquence and the sincerity that he had managed to inject into his speech and as she parted ways with him that night, her heart felt light even as she figured out what it was she was going to do about their situation.