Chapter One Hundred and One - Deep Feelings - Maya's POV

That night I don't sleep. I lie there, next to Damian, on his bed, curled up into a ball. My body is still so I don't wake him, but my mind is racing. Once we got settled into the room, he showered, which I had to help him, then after I got him to the bed, I took my own. We were both dressed in his clothes and then we ended up in bed. He fell asleep rather quickly, which I assumed was to help himself heal. But me? No, I can't sleep. Not when I feel like this. It's like I'm trying to outrun the feelings that are nagging at the back of my mind. Every time I close my eyes, I see the day my father and brother visited all over again. He hadn't been home when father sold me off, but now he was so certain he could buy me back from Damian like I'm some possessive. Though Damian has also switched money for me, I don't feel like I'm just a thing to him. It's different between us and I don't feel as much of a bargaining chip, like I do with my father. Still, it hurts to think about. Damian's slow, even breathing fills the air. He's sleeping so hard that it momentarily disrupts my thoughts. I look over, checking his side, only to see the white bandage still clean. The blanket I tucked over him is still in the same place as when he fell asleep earlier, which is also good. It means he hasn't moved much and is resting. It seems like I'm the only one who can't find peace. I abruptly sit up on the bed and move to the chair near the fireplace. It's not going, but there is a lamp that is lit in the corner, though dim. I settle into the chair, grabbing a throw from the back to put around me. My fingers curl tighter around it when I glance back at him in the bed, still resting peacefully. He looks so calm, so peaceful. I breathe out a sigh of relief, realizing that I saved him. And that should be enough. It should feel like a victory and put my mind at ease. So why do I still feel like I'm about to lose something? The bond between Damian and I is growing. I can feel it in my chest, unlike anything I've ever felt before. This isn't something that I'd feel toward a human, nor is it a crush. It's so much deeper than love and it hurts so good. I don't understand it fully, but I know it's there, just waiting for me to latch onto it. Every glance, every touch, causes it to deepen. I want this. I want him. But I can't stop remembering that I didn't choose this. Fate chose me instead. Well, and my father sold me. A sharp, bitter ache fills my chest behind my ribs. No one has said it out loud, but that's exactly what happened. He found me, asked to exchange money for me, and my father just agreed. Fate or not, it sucks. But Damian is good to me. He trusts me now and even admitted he may not be as overbearing now because he sees I can handle this. Maybe he was wrong, were his words. So how am I supposed to fully fall in love with him when I know he was part of all this? 'Couldn't sleep?" He suddenly asks, sitting up on the bed. I freeze as I slowly turn my head to look over my shoulder. 'No, I just didn't want to, I guess." There's a pause before he clears his throat. Then I hear him shift, bare feet stepping onto the rug next to the bed. I hear the rustle of fabric as he pulls a blanket from the foot of the bed around himself. 'Are you okay?" He asks, sounding unsure. 'Today was a lot to process." Part of me hates that he sounds like he cares so much. Too much. 'No," I say again. Quieter this time. Before I know it, he is standing next to the chair. 'What's wrong?" I look up at him fully. His face is half lit by the dim lighting, while the rest of his face is shadowed by darkness. His hair is a mess, but from what I can see, he looks better already. 'I was sold," I whisper, more to myself than him. 'That's what is wrong. All of this started because I was sold." At first, it's like he doesn't understand my words. He just stares, then it all hits him. 'I was given to you for money," I continue, my voice shaking. 'Like I was a simple possession you buy at a yard sale. No one ever asked me if I wanted it. No one. Not even you. You may call it fate, but it still hurts." He sighs as he moves to the chair next to me and collapses into it. 'I didn't ask for it, either. It's not like I said that I wanted to be born as the one bound by blood. No one asks for what happens to them, but fate finds a way. Yes, it sucks. At times, I wondered why I didn't just let them kill me back then instead of running. It would have been a lot less painful." My jaw drops open. Then he adds, 'But life is pain. Sometimes we go through horrible things and then we find our way out. There is a way out of this and I know I have a purpose. So do you." I don't even have a response. Everything is going through my mind like a wild whirlwind. Damian drags a hand through his hair. 'You think I don't carry guilt for how this came about? You think that I don't know what it cost you to be here?" I stare at him. Not blinking and barely breathing. My mind can't even form a good response. All I can do is stare. My mind is like a war zone with explosions, cannons going off, and there is this one guy who can't run a straight line to save his life. His words hit so hard, cutting deeper than I want to admit. I've seen many sides of him, but this one takes me by surprise. I didn't know he felt that way or thought like that. 'I-" The words slip from my mouth, then I cut myself off. What am I supposed to say?