Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22 NEOLA "Yeah!" I look at the weird guy as he cheered. The guy next to him join him and together they clapped. I glared at the both of them before clapping with the crowd. "Whooo!" Lyle was silent. He did not utter a single word after I told him that I am already engaged. The words taste bitter and sweet in my tongue. It felt like a fresh wound that is currently being pampered at. The dull ache lingers but I can bear. Why does it seem so wrong to make that excuse? I look at Lyle as he sat beside me, his face like a stone carved out. So perfectly sculptured but still a stone. No emotion. He looks almost murderous. Like he can do anything to make everyone believes what he believes. And that scares me. We wait for the show to finish. My thoughts are in a jumble. Now that I told Lyle about my engagement, maybe that will make him draw the line between us. I bit my lip. But what if Luke decides that I am not good enough for him? What if he breaks off the engagement? The dull ache in my heart blossomed into something more hurtful, I couldn't even smile down at Simon anymore. The odds are confusing. If I draw the line between me and Lyle, who will catch me if Luke decides to end it all. I know that I shouldn't use Lyle like he was some kind of a safety net but if he still lingers, I might do that. I followed Lyle towards the direction of the bus, he puts Kendra down and strap her in. I settled Simon next to her and did the same. Only then did I notice the whale stuff toy he is holding in his hands. I tuck it in his arms and he grab it tightly. The other kids followed inside, we help those who are in the wheelchairs. When all of them have settled in, I counted the kids and we prepared to go. I only notice then that Lyle was still there, looking at me from the bus door. "Go with him, Nurse Neo, go with him, " Rose says as she happily clutch the seal stuff toy. I brush her cheeks with the back of my hand before I heed her request. I went down the bass and offered Lyle a smile. He sighs before pulling me towards him and kissing me. My mind went blank. I couldn't breath. It was like my body is going to shutdown. His cheeks felt soft, his nose curved as he lean closer. My lips are frozen, my eyes wide. I can hear the whole bus cheering, the kids giggling. The nurse stood there at the bus door, hands together. They smiled happily, opposite of what I am feeling. I can see the weird man from a while ago as he stood beside the nurses. His seal head an odd appearance. I close my eyes as Lyle tries to deepen the kiss. I can feel his tongue trying to push through, asking for entrance. I decline. I push him back gently. I feel violated. I feel wronged. I betrayed Luke. I felt ashamed of what I have done. But then, he is doing the same. He is with Fleur. He do this with her, much worse maybe? Who knows? I am not there to see their every action. I just look at Lyle, my eyes void of emotions. The whole bus of kids is still giggling and I smiled at them to hide what I am feeling. I swiftly wipe my lips with the back of my sleeves, looking like I was hiding my smile. If they only know how disgusted I was of what had happened. I wanted to hit Lyle but I chose to run towards Simon and take him on my arms. "Tata Nela, what happened?" "Nothing, " I lean on his head and silently cried. The bus started to move, Lyle was still standing where we left. Even the mask weirdo was still there, staring as we went. * Three days of isolation is what I have done. I did not go to work right after the field trip. I am so ashamed of what had happened. I am so guilty, I couldn't even look myself in the mirror. Every time I touch my lip, the bitter taste lingers in my mouth. I am so disgusted. I haven't called Luke. I am afraid that once I call him, I will tell him all the things I have done. I don't even know if he will just let it go and act ass though nothing happened. I sat there by my window, contemplating. Because of what happened, I realize that my heart only yearns for Luke. No man can ever be compared to him in my heart. It only beats for him. My heart painfully twisted and I couldn't help crying. I took Maple from her cot and kiss her, grateful for the comfort. I watch as the rain poured, my mind racing. I am homesick. I am alone. I tool my phone and decided to ask some help, "Elle?" "Neola. Oh, how are you? I miss you" "I miss you too, Elle." I can hear some shuffling before Jacob's voice rang out, "Aunt Nela!" Though different, the nickname made me cry out. I can almost picture Simon, his wide eyes staring at me. "Yes, Jacob?" "I miss you so much, please go back here aunt Nela. I miss you so so much, " His sobs broke my heart. "Sorry, Neo, he just misses you so much. His school is also making him a little bit sensitive. He is new to all these." Elle sigh before asking, " Why did you call? I guess you need someone to talk to which is why.." I wipe my tears and gently brush Maple's fur. "Elle, I don't know what to do." "Why? Tell me what happen Neo? Is Luke being insensitive to you? That Lad, I am going to call him right now and talk some sense-" "no Elle, " I smiled at her feisty behavior and said, "it's not him, it is actually me." "You?" "Yes, " I took a deep breath and continue, " Elle, I am in Canada right now. Luke and I decided to take some time off. He is trying things with Fleur, the chose bride. He wanted me to go and explore and if I really don't want to become royal, he will let me do so, " "then I met Lyle, my childhood best friend. All these years I forgot about him that when he appeared, it was like a fog is lifted out! Suddenly, there is two of them in my heart. I wanted to give Lyle the chance I have given Luke but I can't. Luke matters to me more, Elle." I sigh, my tears no uncontrollable, "and then, worst comes to worst. Lyle wanted me to give him a chance but I can't anymore. He tries to force me, he even kissed me in front of people. I felt guilty of what I have done, Elle...I don't know what I should do next, help me." "Okay, that's a lot to take in, " I hear her sigh. I stood by the window and put little Maple down on the bed. I sprawled next to him and listened to what Elle has to say, "Neola, do you really love Luke?" Her question caught me off guard that I did not answer her, "I mean, this is not easy you know? You are going to be married to a royal. There is lots of issues and demands. You have to be flexible, you have to be strong and understanding. So Neola, can you do that?" I weighed the words in my head. They seem to appear like big chunks of beef that I had to chew on and swallow. It was intimidating but I am certain. "Yes I can do that." "Back to the first question then...do you love Luke?" Her question made my brain stopped working, again. "Yes, I do..." I whispered, quite afraid of my own answer. "Then, there is no problem. If you love him, then everything doesn't matter. You can do it, girl. Even the king can't break the two of you" "But what if he doesn't love me Elle? He agreed of the King's decision to try out for Fleur, he is hesitant." "Are you crazy?" her voice snapped me out of my imagination of Luke kissing Fleur. "Neola, he did that because he can see your indecisiveness. He is only protecting the both of you from the King. He loves you dearly, don't you think he will gladly choose whomever and marry them? He can easily do that but he chose you, even when you ran away, he searched for you." "Neo, please believe in my brother. He maybe a bit slow in love but know that he is sincere. He is only doing all this to give you the chance to a normal life. But if you don't want it then go back. What should I say more to your heart that yearns for him only? Go back and tell him all of what you feel." I stood from my bed and sigh, "I don't know Elle. I don't think I can still go back." "Yes you can, I will help you." Some shuffling from the background made me frown, "Elle?" "Neola, I am packing our bags right now. Once Gabe arrives, I will talk to him and tell him that we should go back to France with you. I will meet you at the Fairmont Le chateau hotel, tomorrow, okay?" more shuffling can be heard. 'Mama, are we really going back to France?' 'Yeaaaaah!' Jacob's cheer distracted me that I can't even process what she just said. "What?" "Just fix everything okay? You will go with us tomorrow." The phone call ended. I look at Maple as she opens her mouth wide and yawn. Oh, how I wish to be reborn as a cat on my next life. 계속 * Helllo guys, so what can you say about the pretty chap? :)