The Ugly Truth

When I remember Arielle's drowsy expression when I left her in bed this morning, I can't help but smile to myself as I recline in my chair. She appeared stunning and full. That smile is irresistible. I think it will remain indelible in my memory forever. From this exact moment forward, I am going to make it my duty to smile just like that every single day. My heart is racing a little bit quicker and louder as I seize my phone, a sinister grin spreading across my face. I have never been affected by anyone other than her. It's the smallest thing that has ever made me so excited. I am Ariel. Lollipop, I am already missing you. I hesitate for a second before I email her the snapshot I covertly snapped of her this morning. Her eyes are closed and her hair is spread all over our pillows, her shoulders showing above the blankets. There's a glimmer of a smile on her face, and something about it seems so perfectly private. I am Ariel. Last night was fantastic, but is it insane that I honestly believe nothing can ever equal waking up with you in my arms?'Ariel?" I look up at my secretary, vaguely upset I got caught grinning at my phone like some sentimental adolescent. For fuck's sake. 'What is it?" I snap. Jim shoots me a strained smile. 'Loretta is here to see you." Hannah? What the hell is she doing here? I haven't spoken to her since she came to our place, and a tinge of shame sinks deep into my stomach. Sleeping with Arielle spelled the end for Loretta and me. Forever. But then again, we were over long before Arielle came down the aisle. Part of me knew that, but did she? 'Tell her to leave." Jim hesitates. 'She says she's here to discuss the merger."I sit back in my seat and sigh as I stare up at the ceiling. 'That's bullshit. Her mother has been handling the merger, and there's no way she'd surrender authority to either of her daughters until she formally signs away her share to Arielle. Get one of the board members to deal with Loretta. It doesn't necessarily need to be me she speaks to. You can join their meeting and report back to me. From now on, please minimize my interactions with her if they aren't totally necessary." Jim nods and turns around, but the door opens before he even reaches it. Loretta walks in, her distinctive movie star smile on her face. Not too long ago, her smile would've had me grin at her in return. Now, it just makes me miss Arielle's genuine little smiles, her giggles, and her sincerity. 'Ariel," she says, walking up to me. I groan and dismiss Jim with a head gesture. He offers a reassuring look my way as he bolts out the door, deserting me. 'Loretta," I say, my tone tight. 'What brings you here today?" She rolls her eyes and moves around my desk, leaning against the edge of it. 'Don't be like that," she urges, her tone light. 'You aren't still mad at me, are you?" I shake my head. 'If you aren't here to discuss business, I need to ask you to leave." 'Ariel." The regret in her words makes me look up, and instantly feel myself falter when my eyes contact hers. She seems so hurt, so defeated. 'Loretta," I murmur. 'It isn't my intention to hurt you, but I made my boundaries very clear. Things will never be the same again between you and me. There's no going back to what we used to have, and we both know it. We've been in denial, hoping three years would pass and we could just act like they didn't happen at all, picking back up where we left off… because that's not how this works. It isn't that simple. You're nothing more than my wife's sister, Loretta. You'll never be more than that. Not ever again." The pain in her expression smacks me directly in the heart. Tears fill her eyes, and I look aside. 'Ariel," she pleads. 'Don't say that. It's always been you and me, from the very start. This is only a detour. You're perplexed since you're living with Ariell The whole world is watching this fairytale relationship that just doesn't exist. History like ours isn't replaceable, Ariel." She wipes away her tears, but they won't stop falling. It's been years, yet despite our history, I still can't tell if any of her tears are real. They don't hit me the same way Arielle does. 'Last time I asked, you refused to answer when I asked if you're sleeping with my sister." I freeze, true remorse and shame vying for power over my thoughts Fuck. 'Are you, Ariel?" I gaze into her eyes. 'Yes," I answer simply. There's no purpose in hiding it. I can't allow her to grasp onto even a single crumb of hope. Doing so would damage my wife, and I can't allow that to happen. Loretta's eyes widen a trifle, and something about her expression guts me. Perhaps none of the tears she's shed thus far have been sincere, but these most certainly are. 'W-what?" I glance away, unable to provide her with the consolation she needs from me. I can't support constant blurring of the lines between us. It isn't fair to Arielle, but it isn't fair to Loretta either.'I'm sorry, Loretta. She's my wife." She covers her face in her hands, harsh screams bursting through her throat as she falls apart. Once upon a time, I would've been the one to catch her, to hold her. Part of me still wants to do that for her — on account of our shared past, perhaps, but a larger part of me knows that this must end here. 'H-how could you?" The way her voice trembles and catches on the final word is proof of her misery, and it hurts me that I did this to her. Despite that, I'd prefer to see tears in her eyes instead of my wife's. 'Loretta, I'm sorry. You and I both knew we were over the moment you got onto that jet. You knew what the consequences would be, but you were self-centered enough to assume you'd get away with it. Yes, it fucking kills me to watch you break apart, but do you know what hurts even more? The fact that you walked away from everything we could've had. The fact that you're here in my office now, hanging onto something you caused me to let go of. You did this. You wrecked three lives with your deeds, and now you're unhappy because Arielle and I managed to build something with the broken pieces? How is that fair, Loretta? How is it fair to me? To her?" She looks at me, and it's as though she's finally actually seeing me, hearing me. 'Ariel," she pleads. 'I can't lose you."I look away and stare out the window instead, my heart hollow. 'You already did, Loretta." She reaches for me and wraps her hand around my arm. 'I fucked up." Her voice breaks. 'I fucked up, and I hurt you. I know I did. Please, Ariel. I… tell me what to do. Tell me how to salvage what we had. I'll do everything if it'll prove to you how much I love you." I shake my head. 'There's one thing I need you to do for me, Loretta." She glances up at me, her eyes shining with a hint of optimism. 'I need you to move on." She inhales sharply, fresh tears filling her eyes. 'You're confused," she adds, a violent streak flashing through her eyes. 'Pussy-whipped, perhaps. It's been ages since you had anyone but me, after all. I get it, I do. I can ignore discretions, Ariel. I see it around me all the time. I can forgive you for anything, even if she's my sister. I'll let it go. Fuck her for three years straight if you want to, so long as you come back to me. That's all I want, Ariel. Just come back to me, please." I rise to my feet and take a step away. 'I need you to leave, Loretta. It's what you do best, after all." She freezes, presumably in shock. I think I've never talked even terribly badly to her. I've always known I'd marry her and promptly gave in to her, no matter what she wanted or did. I always preserved the peace between us. Perhaps that is what made her so certain she could walk all over Ariell and me the way she did. I'm done indulging her. 'No?" I enquire you to leave.That cannot happen Ariel, she says tirelessly. 'Then for once, you'll watch me walk out on you. On us. Forever." I inhale deeply and walk away, letting my office door slam closed behind me.