Rowan's birthday Party

As we draw up in front of my parents' house, Ariel notes, "You seem nervous." I nod and then look at him. "Moment of honesty," I say softly. "I'm afraid to meet Loretta, and the idea of spending a whole weekend surrounded by my family causes stress. I feel inadequate every time I visit. Apart from that, this house is loaded with memories of her. Ariel slants in and gently brushes my cheek with his thumb. He assures me he will rewrite them. "But lollipop, we don't have to if you don't want to go—you know?" Surprise makes me grimace at him. "family means everything to you." He glances into my eyes, his countenance tinged with grief he seeks to hide with a grin. "That's because, to my family, everything counts." Hurt glances aside and momentarily renders me mute. "I love you," he says quietly. "I love you with all my heart, Arielle; I cannot stand to see you taken for granted. Although I will always respect and honor your wishes as they relate to your family, know that I disagree with the way you let them treat you. I lean in for a kiss using my index finger on his chin, so sparing some of his strength. I mumble, "I'll be okay," against his lips. "Because you will be here with me." I nod. "Always". "Ariel?," wonders He turns his head in doubt. Could I ask you to tell me something? Please put my father first this weekend. As far as I can, I wish to preserve calm. You know, he ought to be able to savor his birthday. Though he pauses momentarily, he nods at last. "I promise," he responds, his voice betraying his resistance. Following your guidance, Arielle will help me.That is your family. Your will. I nod and slant in, gently kissing his cheek. I whisper, "Thanks." He smiles at me, but I see the anxiety he is trying to suppress. With a gentle and calm tone, as if he would sit here all night with me should I wish him to, he asks, "Ready?" "Ready," I say nodding. Ariel gets out of the car and wanders about it, hands-off as we approach the front door. Nerves set in and I bite down on my lip. Though I always hate coming through this door, going home to meet my folks should be something I am looking forward to. Dad says, "Ariel!" with a smile. His eyes veer away uneasily as he pats Ariel on the shoulder, then down to our united hands. "My boy , got a fantastic two-person scotch bottle for us." Dad leans in to whisper in my ear after pressing a kiss to my forehead. "And love, I kept some of those cakes you enjoy in your room hidden there. I laugh, my heart getting heated. I keep coming home as the positive still exceeds the negative. " thank you, Dad." "Ariel, Loretta" I glance up at Mom, who hesitate momentarily before lifting her palm to her lips. " apologies, Arielle. I find myself somewhat accustomed to saying their names together. She shakes her head and then comes towards us. She says, "I'm glad you're here," but she doesn't sound it. When she turns towards Ariel, her grin is much more real. "I set up your guest room, Ariel." He draws me into his hand around my waist. He tells her he won't need it. "I will be sharing a room with my wife." Mom looks away clearly uncomfortable, then down to his hand. "Don't you find that somewhat... insensitive?" Ariel fixes her down. "Insensitive?" What is what? To be spending a weekend in the same house the woman who left me at the altar departed? Not at all, no. He turns to face me then. "You would be okay with that?" Alternatively none of us would be here. I choke back a smile at his deliberate misinterpretation of her and gently shake my head. Though I don't need him to fight my fights or be reminded of their past even more than I already will be, I love him for it. Come on, I say to him. "Let's go move our stuff upstairs." Mom sees us vanish down the stairs and starts to get nervous. I last felt at home here years ago, yet I never felt quite this out of place. Ariel pauses in the entryway to my chamber and beams. "Hey, I got you that tiny pillow fashioned like a cupcake. He comes in and wonders as I settle down on my bed, seeing my room from new angles. "I forget you haven't been in my room in years, if ever." Ariel stops, a tinge of regret flashing through his gaze. He approaches me, kneels in front of me, gaze fixed on mine. "Tell me, Lollipop." Is there anything I might do to help you find this weekend more pleasant? I sigh and stare right back at him. "Shouldn't I be the one posing that query? Here, among Loretta. Surely it is difficult for you as well? "It should be, shouldn't it?" he asks. That isn't, though. It hardly affects me at all. His lips hover over mine as he reaches for me and buries a hand in my hair then draws me nearer. "How could it, when I have you?" He kisses me then, his touch harsh and exacting. He melts away my fears exactly like that. "Arielle!," Mom screams from downstairs. Ariel pulls away and drops his forehead to mine, and I groan. Come on, I say to him. "We would be better headed downstairs." Before he gets to his feet and pulls me up with him, he kisses me once more quickly. Maybe after all this weekend will be reasonable. Ariel trails me down, and as we descend the steps the front door opens. When Loretta enters, she pauses to observe Ariel. Her eyes flash with suffering for a minute, and it strikes me exactly in the chest. For me, this is exactly what it used to be. Coming home used to be hated since I couldn't stand to see her with him. Making her experience my pain is the last thing I want to do to her. Nobody ought should have to go through that. " Arielle!" Mom picks up another call. Deeply breathing, I head to the kitchen, lost in thoughts of Loretta and Ariel. She will try to get his attention, and this bothers me. This is what our lives will be like overall. Will I live always in conflict with my sister? Though right now Ariel and I might be fine, everyone finds this scenario to be burdensome. Mom nods to the washbasin and flashes me a grin. "Do you think you could load the dishwasher fast?" I nodded and silently started working. Knowing she wouldn't have phoned me in here if she had nothing to say to me, I waited patiently. "Arielle," she says last but definitely. "Do you believe Ariel and Loretta would benefit from talking through their problems? Their nasty split had an impact on everyone. I would especially wish to return to a period when our house was peaceful. Perfect harmony. I guess that's what everyone but me encountered here. For me, yearning has always permeated this house. I craved to be liked and to belong. First via my parents, then via Ariel. This is the house that, until I lost myself, always made me feel inadequate. I say nothing as Mom fixes me. The reality is I have no response for her. While harmony would be great, for who exactly?Someone is sure to get injured in the situation we have found ourselves in, and for once I will not let it be me. "Oh," Mom says. "Good." They are conversing. I stiffen and follow her look. Loretta and Ariel are standing immersed in discussion on the veranda, and the kitchen window faces there. I get nauseous looking at her the way he is gazing at her. I am aware of half a smile. He always seems to be looking at her as though he thinks everything she does appealing. Though I try so hard to be tough, I get insecure seeing the two of them from here, where they believe we are invisible. That day in the theatre, he was so proactive and set a distance between them; but, was that only because I was there? Was he acting in line with his conception of the correct thing to do? I bite down on my lip angrily, offended with myself for questioning him. For me, this is what this house does. It drives me with sadness and anxiety. It makes no difference how developed I become. Every single time I get home, I feel as though I have retreated ten steps. I walk out of the kitchen gritting my teeth and washing my hands, half the dishes left in the sink. " Arielle!" Mom yells in a hostile manner. I ignore her and head onto the porch, discovering Ariel and Loretta near the swing at the corner. Both of them glance up at me and Loretta stiffens. " Arielle," she says, trying a grin. This is why our relationship now is hurting. Looking at her, I see not my sister as I once could. My eyes meander over her slowly, stopping occasionally on her hand. "You're not wearing your wedding ring," I reply in a casual voice. "You know, the one you told me Ariel handed you?" Her eyes widen, and she looks furtively at him then back at me. No, I put it away securely. I wanted no one else to be at risk answering questions about it. Ariel takes my hand and raises it to his lips, kissing the rear of my palm and orienting it such that my wedding ring sparkles in the light just exactly. He advises her to just wear it if she so wants. "This is a quite basic kind of jewelry. All that is here from the past is a relic. Loretta glances down to the floor, clearing her throat, and I get conflicted. Though I crave the comfort Ariel's touch provides, I don't want to deliberately damage her. "You know," she says. "Tonight marks the first evening in years the three of us will be staying here. We ought to have some board games or anything else. Ariel shakes his head with his arm encircling me. Perhaps some other night, he says to her and turns to face me. "I'm rather fatigued." He seems not fatigued at all from the way he smiles at me, and I wonder whether Loretta understands this. How about we head to bed.