Arielle 's Dilemma

I try to get the confidence to walk in as l fix my gaze on the house. Though I should not have allowed Loretta's comments to shake me, I did. She reached me since she was right. Choosing to replace her, I understood exactly what I was doing. Grandma Adele would have surely given Loretta still another opportunity had I stayed away. I ran a risk and was selfish. Was my decision incorrect? I enter into the house steeling myself and inhale deeply. Knowing that if I encounter Ariel, there's a possibility I may find some truth in her remarks, so I'm afraid to see him. I feel as though I have created a house of cards, and right now everything will fall on me. " Arielle?" Ariel stare at me squarely, clearly worried. "You arrived late today from home. I have been giving you calls. Where are you now? I shake my head and start to smile under duress. "I just have been working late; that is all." I pause. " Ariel, I have a headache. I'm about to turn in for night. Approaching me, he grabs my shoulders and holds me in place with an ashis stare roving over my face. His little brushing of my hair off my face causes my heart to hurt. Of all this, is any true? He is acting since he believes it is the correct behaviour. Is all I am to him simply a need? I can't control my tears even though I bite down on my lip angrily. I turn away while a tear falls over my cheek. Ariel just takes me into his arms and threads his hand into my hair, when I expected him to worry, or demand an explanation for my suffering. I really start crying and cover my face on his neck. He grips me tightly, as though he's trying to keep me together when I fail to do it myself. Sobs burst over my throat. Lollipop, you are hurting my heart. I am not sensitive to everyone's tears, but yours. You have me ready to drop on my knees and ask you to tell me what I can do to make everything better. I shake my head not sure what to say. I doubt the words would come out even with best effort. How would I explain having swallowed me a thousand fears? If it means having this with him, I would do it all over again even if remorse beyond anything I have ever felt before is nibbling at my soul? Ariel lowers down to raise me into his arms; his footsteps echo across the corridor as he carries me to our bedroom. He settles at the side of the bed and keeps me in his lap while he gently runs his hand over my back. All of it merely causes my heart to break even more. He says, sounding agonised, " Arielle." As best as I can, I wipe away my tears while seated on his lap. I am not able to hide anymore. Not if it is Loretta's fault, I cannot keep drowning in my suffering. Loretta arrived to my office today. He tenses and locks his jaw; his face is unreadable. "Ariel... did you... d-did you hand her my wedding ring?" His eyes open and he gently cups my cheeks. "Baby," he says in a whisper. "I promise you it's not at all like what you might be thinking. She begged for it, and since I didn't want it constantly reminding you of her, I handed it to her. To be honest, Arielle, I wanted no hold on anything like that. I forwarded her mine as well. I have no use for either of them. With the back of his fingers, he gently brushes my cheek; his eyes seem begging, as if he needs me to believe him. I say, "It kills me," softly. Too afraid to ask the questions I need responses for, I grab for him and trace a finger over his temple. "The guilt, the agony. Ariel, too much is involved here. Was my choice a bad one? Does a tiny portion of you hate me for choosing to go down that aisle rather than abstain? Do you object to me sitting between Loretta and you? He starts to respond, but I silence him with my index finger against his lips. "Don't,," I whisper. Ariel, I lack the confidence to pay attention to your responses. I would much prefer let my worries consume me alive than have you validate Loretta's observations. Hearing you remark that a tiny bit of you still loves her makes me doubt my own survival. I fear you would pity me and tell me everything I want to hear without meaning a single word. I worry that everything between us really is only your obligation. You throwing me aside for her will not help me live. I let my finger drop away, fresh tears running down my cheeks as I do. Ariel sighs and grips my wrists tightly as he drives them behind my back. "Are you done talking, my darling? I fucking hope so since it's my time. My eyes open and he smiles despite the remnants of anguish in them. The one most surprising but wonderful thing that has ever happened to me is you, Arielle Warren. I was not really alive before you. In the absolute greatest sense, you drive me fucking crazy. Every single day, you make me laugh; my lovely wife, you, make me experience emotions I have never known before. You know, I felt I knew what love was. I took that as implying patience, sacrifice, and compromise. Now, I understand better. Arielle, true love is fucking selfish, maddening, all consuming. It's frustrating and counting down the minutes to get home. I crave you with an intensity that transcends the physical; it's petty about all them all is sliding into your DMs and it's fucking you raw on our brand-new sofa. I want our house to be ours, hence we are decorating it together and really paying attention to the details. I'm arguing with you when I usually would have let things go just because, when it's you, I really care about every single tiny fucking thing. And Mrs. Warren, it is love. At least, I believe it is as there is another way you may characterise my feeling. Now that I know you, I cannot return to a life before you; you are everything I did not realise I needed. Not at all. Anyhow. I fix my silent gaze on him and he smiles. Indeed, he says in a whisper. Not seen either, yet here we are, darling. Together, you and me Just you and me in this marriage, Arielle. Stop letting her in; nobody else can fit in here. I know you love her and that hurts. Keeping her in our lives is difficult since every time we meet her we are confronted with a past we both wish did not exist. Though it's not ours to bear, I feel the same guilt you do. You hear me? You and I have done nothing illegal. I nodded and put my arms around his neck; my words stuck in my mouth. He is not sure how much these words mean to me or how long I have been yearning to hear them. Another tear comes down my cheek, and Ariel uses his thumb to collect it. He cups my face and leans in, his lips lightly, delicately brushing over mine, his kiss capturing every single syllable he just whispered.