Chapter 15 (Leaving)

  "Gosh, Nat! I don't really know what to say," Kylie said to me as she cooked an omelet.   I was just depressed at the counter, staring at her. I was wearing cotton shorts and a white strappy top that was thin.   "Me too." I gasped and rubbed my neck.   "So, what's your plan? With your mom? With Sebe?" she asked, placing the omelet on the plate.   I shook my head frustratedly.   "I do not know." I take an apple to the counter and bite it.   "That's a pain in the ass, Nat. If I'm in your situation... I don't know; I might be crazy!" she said and placed the omelet on the plate.   I also got up to get a glass, and so on.   "Has he called?" she asked.   "Not yet..."   "Better ask him, Nat. You know that he's a retired fuckboy. He has needs." She laughed a bit. "Don't be offended. You know men have needs! You know! The hardest part is that you are far from each other."   Little by little, I processed what she said.   Was Sebe sleeping with another girl to satisfy his needs?   Will Sebe be able to do that?   I rubbed my forehead when I remembered the first time Sebe and I met. In a room where I heard he fuck a student!   Shit.   After Kylie and I ate, we went to the mall. I will buy clothes and other things I need. I have no plans to go home yet.   I was waiting for Sebe's call, but still nothing.   "This, Nat? It looks good to you," Kylie said, waving a black t-shirt in the air. I winced!   "I don't wear that!" I spat.   We are now in the female section.   "Come on! Choose one! You know if Sebe is back! You must attract him so you can taste his..."   I smirked.   "Damn you!" I cursed her. My cheeks almost warmed as I remembered what had happened to us before he left. Shit!   "Hey! You're blushing!" she let out a scream.   She pulled me closer.   "Oh! You! Has something happened? Come on, Natalia! I'll pull your groin."   I bit my lip, and we settled down.   I nodded and looked away.   She immediately covered her mouth and widened her eyes!   "Oh my-"   She could not continue what she was going to say.   ***   Here we are now, eating inside the pizza hut. She did not stop questioning me.   "Nat, what's that feeling?"   I raised an eyebrow.   "Feeling? Why? Didn't Clinton bed you?" I know there is something between them.   Clinton is a playboy. Behind those cold and dark, profound auras is a playboy, Clinton.   She pouted.   "It doesn't matter!" She immediately made me smile.   But she didn't stop. "But seriously? Does it hurt?"   "Shut up!" I hissed to her and drank the soft drink.   She grinned. "Is it big?"   I remained serious even though I was no longer comfortable with our topic.   I nodded.   "Oh my God! I cannot believe that you already had sex! I cannot imagine it!"   I stand.   "Stop now. I'll go to the restroom." I chuckled.   "Okay, I'll wait here."   I left immediately and headed to the center of the mall.   I picked up my cellphone and checked to see if there was a text from Sebe. But there are none.   Is there a problem? I really miss his voice. I miss him.   But I could almost drop my cellphone when I bumped into a wide and hard chest.   "Sorry! Sorry-"   My eyes widened.   "D-Damon?" I sneered. And why is something wrong with him?   He leaned me against the hallway wall toward the comfort room and wrapped me in both his hands.   "Damon? What is y?"   I was stopped by what I would say when he kissed me!   My heart almost pounded at what happened.   What the fuck?   I wanted to speak, but his kiss drowned it out. I tried to push him, but he hugged my arm even more.   Gosh! He's crazy! Is he stupid?   My system is shaking at what is happening. I gathered my strength to push him. He can't do this to me.   "D-Damon!" I kept pushing him while at the same time I heard sobbing behind him.   I almost lost the blood on my face from what happened! And fuck, Qluie Zandria saw us! The one who's been chasing Damon for a year!   My lips parted. I looked at them, confused. I immediately looked at Damon badly.   My hand could no longer restrain me, and I slapped him!   Zandria gasped.   "Damn you, Damon!"   If they love each other, why are they still torturing themselves? Stupid!   I wiped my lips. I closed my eyes tightly because I still remember Damon's kiss earlier.   What would Sebe do if he knew that his brother kissed me?   ***   I was reading a book in the bedroom. This is one of the guest rooms here in Kylie's condominium.   Mama had called me so many times, but I refused to answer.   I folded the book and picked up my cellphone—still nothing.   I have too many doubts. Even one of Sebe's cousins says nothing.   I was startled by the door's slam. Kylie slammed it open and gasped as she faced me.   "Why are you rushing?" I asked coldly.   She shook her head immediately. She heaved a sighed deeply and came near me.   "Did you open your Facebook account?" she asked.   I raised an eyebrow.   "No." She handed me her cellphone. "OOh! Look!"   My heart pounded when I saw the picture of Eli and Sebe. Eli posted it an hour ago.   Tears welled up in my eyes, and Kylie's cellphone fell on the table.   I thought he would fix something there. I thought he would do it for us.   Did Eli follow him there? They look so happy together in that photo.   And they are kissing.   "Sorry, Nat, I wouldn't have shown this to you, but I can't stand it."   I bent down and bent my elbow on the table.   "Nat?" Kylie rubbed my back.   "I'm fine." I'm shaking.   "You're not okay." She hugged me from behind. "I don't know what to say, Nat. Even I can't believe it," she said softly.   Is Sebe just playing with me? He said he would fight for us. But what is that? What is that picture?   They look like a happy couple.   He made me look stupid. He's really a playboy. He ain't going to change.   Eli is his longest girlfriend! Three years are not easy to forget.   I'm stupid! How talented I am in school! Is this how stupid I am in love?! And the worst! I gave myself to him!   Kylie hasn't talked to me yet. I told her I wanted to be alone.   I locked myself in the room.   The window is open. The moonlight is the only light in the room.   No texts and no calls from him.   Stupid. Why should I wait any longer?   I loved him, and I believed in everything. I gave myself, but in the end, I repented.   I am the obstacle to them.   I got up from sitting on the bed. Not afraid of the darkness inside the bedroom.   I stood beside the window. I shivered when the wind blew my hair.   Immediately, my tears flowed. I didn't bother to wipe it. I don't want to hide anymore.   I'm not really that strong and cold.   I am fragile. That is the truth.   I am weak. I am breakable.   I looked at the moon, shining beautifully in the sky.   The moon.   Sebe's been my moon before. My light is in the dark. He guided me to make the right choice. He lightens the right path for me. But then he took away his light.   I looked up at the moon.   "S-Sebe w-why?"   I don't know how many hours I cried or what time I fell asleep.   When I woke up that morning, I had no appetite.   Still nothing.   Why am I still hoping?   I already told Kylie I wasn't going to school. Nothing enters my brain when I'm like this. My stupidity outweighs my intelligence right now.   With swollen eyes, I looked at the reflection in the mirror. I took out my phone. My hand trembled as I held it.   I immediately typed my message for Mama.   To Mama: Ma, I am going to Isla Constancia. I'm sorry for everything. I love you. See you there!   Isla Constancia is an island somewhere in the Visayas. Near Iloilo.   There, Mama builds her resort. I will stay there. We have a rest house there.   That's where I'm going.   I must forget at least once. Sebe and I aren't really for each other.   He did not fight me. That only means one thing.   He does not love me.   My decision is final. I am leaving.