Chapter 8 (Face your fears)

I nodded slowly. I want to hear whatever he has to say –even though it might make no sense. Sebe took me to a cliff overlooking the whole view of Manila. Each tree in a row has lights. There were benches under it glued together. The chilly wind blew, so I hugged myself. Sebe pressed something on his car, so the car cover opened. I could see the stars and the moon. I was amazed at the perfect star twinkling in the sky. I feel like it's like Sebe, lovely to look at even from a distance, but no matter how beautiful it is, I will never reach it. "You like it in here?" He took a beer in a can. "It's nice here," I looked up at the sky when I said that. Sebe was staring straight at me when I shifted my gaze at him. "Yeah," he said, looking at me. I blinked suddenly. I adjusted my seat and hugged myself. I'm still wearing my uniform. Sebe sighed heavily. "You saw us?" He suddenly asked. "It's okay. I don't have the right to be-" I startled. "Did I hurt you?" He asked again. Damn it! I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes. Yes, I was in pain. But my lips felt pity when I felt Sebe hug me from the side. He cupped my face. "I'm damn fuck up," He cussed. "There are things you don't need to know right now. You won't understand." Am I in love? He lightly kissed my left cheek where he was leaning. "Please, tell me. Are you mad?" I immediately shook my head. "N-no." "You're still young. You won't understand." "I'm not a child anymore." "You're just nineteen," so I took his hand away and looked at him. "Age is just a number. The basis is in mind. And I know what's right and wrong." "You think so? Is this all right?" I sighed at his question. What did he mean? About us? About this? "What do you mean?" I asked. He cupped my face again. "You're smart, Natalia." he sighed. "Please, don't doubt your feelings. I will fix everything in no time." So that's it. My day became natural again, just school and home. I'm happy. Yes, I'm happy. Sometimes he was with someone and yes, it hurts, but that's just how it was. Like what he said before when we were on the cliff, I should just go with the flow. I'll enjoy my life. I just seem to trust how I feel. I don't know much yet. Is nineteen still young? I think he's avoiding me. I know I don't think of him as a friend. He's more than that. "You're so stupid, Nat!" Kylie commented to me. I folded my book and picked up the reading glass I was wearing. "I'm so stressed," I rubbed my forehead. She laid the sandwich and juice on the table in front of me. She smiled. Kylie is sweet and feisty. "I bought that." I studied just to subside my attention. I was just forcing myself to have fun. I don't know, but I miss Sebe's presence. I can't do anything to alleviate this. I don't know why. What he said when we were on the cliff still runs on my mind. His words made a mystery in me. He said he had to fix something to choose what he really feels and what he wants. What's that? Fix what? "Fuck! Fuck!" Panting, Jen suddenly sat down in front of us. Kylie coughed because she was drinking her juice. "Fuck fuckin your ass, Jen! Why are you shouting ?!" Kylie shouted and wiped her skirt. Jen looked dismayed when she looked at me. I don't know, but I was nervous, yet I managed to act like nothing. "You like Sebe, right?" I was surprised by Jen's question. "Why are you asking-" She cut me off. "Damn! Tell me! I know. I just want to hear it from you-" "Go straight to the fucking point, Jen!" Kylie snapped at her. Jen put her cellphone on the table. "See it for yourself," she said to me. My heart pounded at what I could read on her cellphone. My hand was shaking when I took it, and I could hardly breathe. My eyes narrowed as I read it carefully. It is a website where the lives of the high ones are legally updated, Elites family where Montemayor Empire belongs. My chest throbbed at what I read—the Merging of HMC Company of Montemayor and Lee Empire Group. The two most powerful names in the industries are now one. Sebastian Montemayor and Elizabeth Lee confirmed engagement two days ago! Is this what he said he's going to fix? My chest is too tight. I want to cry but not in front of them. I immediately stood up. "I-I will just go to the bathroom," I stuttered as the pain struck me. My books are about to fall apart. Jen looked at me worriedly. "Nat, are you okay?" I nodded. "I'm leaving," but they saw my tears flow before I could leave. Shit! "Nat," Kylie called again, but I did not look back. I don't want them to see me like this. I don't want them to see how I really feel. I'm hurt because I love him. I cry because I love him. Shit! He's engaged. My pace slowed. I feel like I'm going to fall. I leaned against the wall in a hallway where I knew no one could see me. "Shit!" I cursed, covering my face with my palm. Until I sat down, my back was leaning against the wall. "He's engaged," I stated like an idiot with myself. Moments later, I heard footsteps approaching, so I stood up and rubbed my cheek. When looking down, I saw a pair of familiar shoes. I cried even more. I remained still looking at that pair of shoes. He heaved a sigh. "Don't cry." I remained silent. I didn't look at him. My tears just flowed. My first love is now my first heartbreak. "He has a reason. Talk to him." Damon said to me. Talk to him? Does he think I could? "I-I can't." He grabbed my arm and pulled me even closer to him. "Why are you crying?" He asked me gently. I could see the softness was now in his expression. I don't need his mercy. "Because you love him," He answered his own question. Fuck. He's right. He licked his lips. "Crying wouldn't help Natalia," He parted the strand of my hair and placed it behind my ear. "Sometimes, we have to face our fears. So, talk with him, face your fears."