Chapter 40

"Go ahead," I confided him. His face lit up with happiness and he gave me a small smile but he seemed nervous. Karl being nervous is totally a new history. He is not the old Karl, what got into him. "Shasha Shivani." He whispered a name. "Uhhh?" I asked furrowing my brows. He shook his head and looked at me. "Her name is Shasha Shivani. She was the first girl who went against mine but me being arrogant--" He let out a painful sigh and said, "I did awful things to her." "I tortured her every day more than I did to you. The last thing I did was tearing her dress apart in front of everyone." I looked at him not knowing what to say. How cruel he was. Sensing my stares, he looked at me but averted his gaze in a second as he didn't meet mine. "From that next day, she didn't come to college. I had been waiting for a month to her return but she didn't show up." He continued his flashback. "After that, I learned the truth that she left college and is continuing her studies in London where she belongs to. Suddenly I felt strange as my heart was ripped open." His lips formed a thin line. "I spend more time learning about her as to where she from, what she likes, what her favourite things, and what she will do in her spare time. And finally, I came to discovered that she was an orphan. I feel guilty now." He ended his miserable story. "Why?" I had the courage to ask him. His eyes were moisturized a bit leaving me a complete utter shock. Who would believe if I say Devil shed some tears for his Sin too? "That's how I grew up. I'm used to be a mommy boy but I lost my mom when I was five. My world started to collapse on that day. No one there for me to guide my life." A complete fit of worry occupied his face. "My dad's focus was only on his business. I became so arrogant to get rid of the loneliness I felt inside my heart. I started to rule everyone. With the snap of my finger, I get whatever I want that made me became even arrogant and a manipulative jerk. My dad fed me money more than a child could need." His voice croaked. My eyes welled with tears for him. If anyone had said I will feel pity for him in the future, I would have laughed at their face, but now, in reality, I really feel pity for him. I can't imagine my life without my mom. For God's sake, he was a kid when he lost his mom. He wiped my tears with his thump that I didn't aware of rolling through my cheeks. "I don't like to get any pity from anyone that's why I wore a mask to hide my feelings." He sighed. "I'm sorry for your loss, Karl. It was really a hard time for you." He shook his head and said, "You two brought my life back." Furrowing my brows I looked at him confusingly. Who he was implying? "Do you remember the first day when we met?" He asked and I nodded my head. How could I forget? "That day I really missed her. Her innocent face still played on my mind and then you bumped to me. I wanted to get rid of her thought so I used you." Yeah! That day I wouldn't have shown up. "Whenever I bullied you, I saw her in you that made me feel so good as she was with me." He let out a small laugh. "How pathetic I was?" His hand came to hold the tip of my forefinger before he continues "And when you threatened me to going to drop the college, the wave of emptiness occupied my body and I began to lose my self-consciousness. That's why I burnt all your documents. I thought you can't leave me like her from my side and I will have you as mine." He chuckled but he couldn't able to hide his anxiety. "Do you know I even started to develop feelings for you? I thought it was Love." He said sincerely. A gasp escaped from my mouth when he said those words 'Love.' How it could be. He took my hands with him and drew a smooth circle. "But again someone came and took what's mine. I went insane when I thought I lost you, but it is not true. I already lost someone precious to my heart already. I just think of you as her replacement, but you taught me a lesson which had been lacking in my life." Tears pooled down through my cheeks nonstop as it's not because of the pain I have in my hand, instead, It's all for him. I feel sorry for him. Somewhat I think it was a joke or another prank he is doing or at least I wanted to believe but his eyes held all the truth. "Karl," I whispered. "What are you going to do?" He gave a small polite smile. "I want to do a lot of repairs for the damage I have done in the past and I wanted to start from here with you." I stared at him blankly. "Please forgive me, Sheila. I don't remember when I asked apology last time. So I don't know how to ask for a proper apology. Just forgive me, Please." He made my heart melted. "It's okay, Karl. It's not your entire fault. The way you grew up has changed you so much. It has nothing to do with you. If you had someone who guides your life, you would not be in this situation. So don't blame yourself. Everyone has a dark past." I reasoned out. "So, that means I was forgiven, right?" He eagerly looked at me for my answer. "Of course, you are." I laughed at him, soon he joined with me.