Chapter9:Sienna

"You can sign here, and your driver will be here any minute now," Hannah says as she hands me the cap for the pen with her free hand. "Got a name for him yet?" "Kaleb Marcus Stone," That deep voice has me gritting my teeth, but I say nothing. He got everything sorted out. And even though it is almost 5 in the afternoon, I am glad to get my kid out of this place. "Hey Kills, thought you were heading out with River and Spade was getting Sienna?" Hannah says as she lifts little Kaleb to her nose. "You thought wrong. Sienna and I need to catch up, don't we, Sienna?" My pulse kicks in as I shiver at the cold promise in his voice. A killer. I must remember he is a killer. Hannah must not sense the double meaning and vow in his lethal voice, but even the 10 years since I have allowed him to see me cannot take away that knowing. How could it, when this guy that is standing by the doorway of my hospital room door, dressed in black leather pants, a thin Henley cotton top, tattoos from his neck to his fingers, black earrings, piercings on his brow and blue eyes that promise you a wild night but also a gruesome ending has been the focus of my obsession since I was a little girl? He was my hero and as I got older; it grew into something more. It cut deep when I found out at my sweet sixteen that Kevin Stone will never return my feelings because he was unfeeling. The young prodigy. Now I am a 28-year-old woman, pretending to be younger than what I truly am, and he is the person I want to be the furthest away from. He takes my son from Hannah and the baby bag goes next. I smile at the wrongness of the picture. The badass biker with a kid. "I didn't know you were a Stone," Hannah says as she rubs her protruding belly. "I'm a Bray," I tell her. "Kid is safer with a different surname," Killer interjects. "You realize that Hannah is talking to me, Sienna, who has a mouth to talk. As you can obviously hear." "Was wondering when the little demon was going to play." "Wonder no more," I snap. I know I am groggy since I have waited the last hour to get out of here. And while the CLUBHOUSE doesn't seem like the ideal baby destination, it is the safest for us now. Hannah smirks but says nothing as I hand her the discharge papers signed and sealed. "Can I hold my baby now?" I ask Killer, but we all know it isn't really a question. "No, let's move," His blunt response has me rolling my eyes, typical Stone behaviour. We get into the elevator and Killer presses the ground button. "I would think with the price of hospital care they'd install a voice controller in the elevator by now." "I would think with me being Kaleb's mother, you'd give me him to me to hold by now." "Too bad it's just a thought. He is comfortable in a man's arm." His words sober my lulled mood easily. Any comeback mute as we get to the ground floor. Gabriel wouldn't have this. His need to become a crime boss always overshadowed his desire to have a life with me. It was the reason I left so many times. Why I kept going back was something I still don't understand. He was cute, and great in the sack, and yes, he was an amazing guy to spend my hours with, but he was mean, cold and distant at times. His need for power came at a high cost, and it filtered into not just my life but my sons. And I would never forgive him for what he did. We get to a big white Range Rover, and inside at the back is a baby seat. Killer takes Kaleb, places him inside, strapping him up. I walk to my door and lift my leg to get inside. A sharp pain pokes into my abdomen and I make a funny noise. Big firm hands hold me on my back, cupping my waist. "Easy now, you lost a lot of blood, so you got to take it easy for a few days," His voice is so close to my neck I can feel his breath on my naked flesh. He's a killer, remember that. "Can you lift me up?" I ask, not my proudest moment. But I would live, and I really needed to get to a bed, my stomach was throbbing. It feels like my insides were going to come out. He doesn't answer but lifts me up into the car and closes the door. I am glad they have already dropped the seat, as it gives me a reprieve from sitting up. "Don't have babies," I tell Killer as he gets into the car. "I don't have a womb. So the point is mute." He starts the car and maybe it's the relief from leaving the hospital, or the fact I was starting a whole new adventure, but his answer just makes me laugh and I do, I laugh. It's kind of freeing after all these months, hiding out and shoving my stomach with fast foods. My baby cries, and I slap a hand on my mouth. My eyes are wide with equal parts panic and distress. Killer surprises me when he grins and shakes his head, "Kaleb doesn't like his momma's laugh." My heart constricts at the sound of momma, I never thought I would hear that word from someone's mouth let alone this mans. The car is automatic and I watch Killer's hand as it goes to the back, and although I CAN'T twist, I know he is patting Kaleb. My heart swells. "Well, that isn't working," Killer says as we turn the corner, and he gets onto a long stretch of road, while Kaleb howls to the moon. My boy has a set of lungs. "What are we going to do?" I ask him, since he is so calm. "Well, normally when Beggar is with Talin and she cries, she puts the music on," He says and puts the radio on. James Arthur, quite miss home plays on the radio. And my heart constricts, remembering a few months ago when I spoke to Uncle Marcus, and this song played. My voice captures the words and I sing. My mood grows dim as Kaleb quietens down and I close my eyes, remembering Liston Hills. If I was ever to describe home to Kaleb, Uncle Marcus and his long Sunday cooking lessons would be just one story I would describe to my kid. My uncle made the best mint and chocolate croissants ever. And Kylie's bike lessons and years of mayhem would be another. Kylie taught me to ride a motorbike, she would get lessons from Killer and she would teach me. Diamond's crazy experiments and heated arguments with Kylie would be the highlight of his days, when I told him how Diamond threw Kylie in the pool during the middle of winter. And my favorite, our bike rides along the mountain where we would go so high and just lay there until the sun came up, just watching if momma was there. The song plays, and like its eventual end, my memories fade away. Killer says nothing as we drive to the Clubhouse. When we arrive there are at least 20 people outside waiting. "They seem like a lot, but really they're just a bunch of pussies, besides Knight, stay away from him," Killer tells me as the gates open and we drive inside. "Well, kiddo, welcome to your new home," Killer tells Kaleb, and I am wise to say nothing to that statement. All the people from the Clubhouse crowd us in as we make our way to the door. Killer easily holds Kaleb to his chest, allowing all the members to look at my son. It brings a softness to my heart to know these scary men and women are cooing at my kid and taking me into their home. A strange woman who smashed into their gate and brought a heap of problems with her. We eventually get inside and the smell of disinfectant and something akin to cherry blossom hits my nose. It is different, but a welcome smell. By the time I get to the bottom of the steps, my stomach is discomforting, and so is my nether region as it throbs. I fret about bleeding through my clothes if I don't make it to the bathroom in time. River, the club president I met earlier today, walks over to me and lifts me up, without even offering. I hold on to his neck. "Thank you so much," I tell the hulk of a man with greying hair. He looks to be in his early forties, but I can see life hasn't been too kind to him. Yet, there is a peaceful look in his gaze when he stares at me. "Don't mention it, when Beggar gave birth to Talin, we did this like 20 times a day. She couldn't handle the kid crying for very long, so she'd get one of the women to take Talin and the men to bring her downstairs." He drops me down when we reach the 2nd set of stairs. "Well thanks, but Ky, I mean Frost said I'm staying on the 3rd floor." "Frost isn't the President, and it's best you stay on the 2nd. We prepped a room for you, 3rd door on the right and the one next to yours is empty. So if Frost would like to join, she's welcome in that one. Parenting ain't easy and getting up and down those stairs is fucking difficult, especially when carrying 65 kilos extra. And no brother in this place is going to let you do that shit on your own, so let's make life easy, what do you say?" He winks and turns around, heading back down the stairs without waiting for my reply, which clearly tells me he didn't expect one. I meander my way to the room just as I feel a heavy gush of blood run down my legs. I rub them together, hoping no blood spilled on the carpet. For a clubhouse, the place was neat. There was not even a stench of smoke in the air. The door is open as I get to the room, and I barely have a chance to look around as I rush to the bathroom. My anxiety drops when I see the 6 packs of utility towels in a shelf stacked one on top of each other. "Sin, you alright?" Killer asks, knocking on the bathroom door. "I'm fine, I just need a moment." "I saw the blood on the floor, do you want me to ask…" "I said I'm fine," I snap. He is quiet and I think he is gone as I try to clean myself up. The pain in my stomach is not one for the feint hearted. I feel like I was butchered and put back together. A knock sounds on the door again, and I groan. "Go away, Killer. Fuck," I say in annoyance. "It's Hannah sweetheart, can I come in?" "Thank god, yes, please." She walks in and closes the door behind her and sees me on the toilet and I must admit it is also not my finest moment, but at this point I am done caring. "My stomach is so sore and I can't stop bleeding and it hurts everywhere." She stands there and rubs at her own belly before smiling. She walks around and I watch her get wet wipes and hand them to me. "This will clean you up quicker, trust me. And the pain you feeling is probably because you opted for no meds after birth, which I found when I pulled up your medical details. But I thought you might change your mind, so I left something next to your bed that won't harm Kaleb." She stares at me for a bit, and then tightens her mouth, "Lemme help you get cleaned up and I'll get you in bed, and you can get a bit of rest. You are going to need it for the next few days. A single mother doesn't mean you have to do it all on your own." I say nothing as she embarrasses me further, and I am mortified, but I really can't do it on my own. How the hell did I expect to have a baby alone? Maybe all those years, my Aunt Hunter forced us to go to Sunday church was not in vain, because the lord provided me with a clubhouse full of bounties. It takes a while, and eventually I am cleaned up with fresh underwear and a button down night gown to make it easier to feed Kaleb. Hannah brushes my hair in the bed, telling me about her daughter Jocelyn and all the problems she gives her. The girl reminded me of myself. Never a dull moment when Sienna Bray was around. "Thank you Hannah," I smile at her, truly grateful. She leaves and I turn on my side lamp to see my new temporary bedroom. It's quite large, with high wooden beams on the ceiling, and two lights dangling from thick chains. Around the walls are dark wooden planks giving the white walls a cosy but clean finish. The air in the room is clean, the carpet is a light thick beige luxury, perfect in case Kaleb falls, or heaven forbid I dropped him. I read up about stories of people who dropped their kids. The bed I am lying is a queen-size, with a white leather headboard and matching duvet. Kaleb's cot is set up a distance away. It is a dark oak, wooden cot and looks almost new. Around his cot is a feeding chair, changing table, bottles, diapers, a baby bath and tons of toiletries, I doubt he would ever finish. My door opens slightly and Natasha walks in, her face still messed up from the beating she took, but it doesn't hide her smiling face as she practically pounces in the room and hugs me. I pinch my face in pain but hug her back for a bit. She stands to her full height and I see the tears in her eyes. "I didn't know you were pregnant, I wouldn't have…" "Oh, come on, it's water in the Atlantic. It was my choice to come. It's on me. He is safe and sound. Well, I hope so because I don't know where my son is exactly," I tell her as she wipes her eyes with her long t-shirt and ruffles her short blue hair. That is Natasha for you, always herself. "He's with the big biker guy, the bald one," She tell me as she crawls over me and hops into my bed. "So how does it feel to be a momma bear?" "Sore. My nether regions are on fire and I didn't even give birth. It feels like someone took a saw and cut me open with a blunt blade and then stapled me together after removing all my intestines." Natasha laughs and the two of us talk about babies and all the gross things I should expect with having a boy. We also try to conjure up who he might look like, and although we talk about nothing important, it is everything at the same time. Because that is the thing I have always loved about Natasha, is her easiness to just be in that moment. Who cares if we were both fucked because we chose the wrong men, or if the one was dumber than the other? I needed her today and like always she showed up, just like I would. Not only for her but Kylie, Diamond and anyone of the people I loved. Because I loved a lot and sometimes love made us do stupid things, like rocking up to a crime scene almost 9 months pregnant because my cousin was crying and said she needed me. Yeah, I had plenty not so glorious moments, but having Kaleb and knowing he is my boy, makes all the bad, nothing but a memory. "Can I hold you for a bit, Sin?" Natasha asks me and my heart breaks for her. We agreed to not tell anyone the whole story, the fewer people knew the better. "Sure." Natasha helps me in a comfortable position so I can get some rest and places her arm over my waist. I close my eyes as her familiar arm holds me close. It doesn't take me long to fall off to sleep. "Taylor, do you think I'm normal? I don't want to be normal," We sit at the park, just 2 minutes' walk from home, mommy and daddy are making hamburgers. They are my favorite part of Fridays. "No, why would anyone wannabe normal? It's boring, Dirk Majori is normal, and he digs his nose, Carla from your class is normal and she smells nasty. Besides, you can't be normal because you related to me. And Harlin is hardly a normal name." Harlin giggles and drops her head on the ground, and I tickle her as she screams. It's so beautiful here, I just want to live here forever. But like always, the man without a face comes. He stands there with his hand open, waiting for me. I know I have to go to protect Harlin, to protect mommy and daddy. He always comes for me and I always go.