Chapter 35 New Beginning

'Dina! I brought you here in Canada not to lock yourself… you didn't come here to die.", Carlos scolded Dina in her room. Dina was just in the corner, staring out the window, doing nothing. Dina went on to face Carlos lifelessly. She looks depressed, her eyes no longer have those sparkle. It has been three weeks since she left the Ballestros and there hasn't been a day where Carlos saw Dina smile… not even once. She almost hasn't even left the room the whole time. 'I know, Carlos but…", Dina sighed. Carlos was sad to see Dina being like this. Carlos went over to Dina and sat down in front of her by the window. He held Dina's hands gently. Dina wanted to avoid but it feels like she has no energy to do so, she doesn't want to fight back anymore and she feels like she has no right to be against it because, in the first place, she chose this… and Carlos is just helping her to get away from Rico. 'If leaving Rico makes you like this… how much more have you endured when you lost your dad and everyone was blaming you? I hope… I was the one there by your side at that time. If I was just there… you wouldn't have to marry Rico.", Carlos sadly says. Dina wasn't able to answer but she let out a deep sigh. She wondered why she almost hasn't remembered how she felt when her father died. Her sadness now overpowers the sadness she felt at her father's death even though it was worst because she remembered at that time that she was already ready to die… she wanted to die and no one was there for her. Now, she has Carlos but it feels like she still has no one. She didn't know when she had gotten too emotional. 'Because I won't allow it to happen… I will do all means for you not to marry him. If I was here that time, maybe I had forced myself to your dad and would have presented myself to marry you..", Carlos said jokingly. But Dina didn't smile nor answer… she just looks directly into Carlos's eyes. 'Maybe… I had become your husband now if that happened.", Carlos said, sounding regretful. 'I am not forcing myself upon you, Dina… I know you know that. I just hope that you would give me a chance… how you were able to love someone you used to hate before… it wouldn't be much easier to fall in love with a man you are close with? Maybe we could bring back our feelings… that emotion we both felt during our college days.", Carlos sounds like he was already begging. 'Carlos, I know the feeling of someone who is hoping for nothing… it's painful. I don't want to do that to you. You are too precious to me and I can't afford to hurt you.", Dina finally broke her silence. Carlos wanted to answer but Dina begins to talk again. "I love you too, Carlos… but it's not like before. It's not the same infatuation we felt during our college days. Even though we didn't officially become a couple, our feelings were mutual… but my respect for you as a mentor dominated over my infatuation. And above all, I value our friendship. I love you, it's true… but it is a love appropriately given to a friend only.", Dina added. With those words, Carlos broke into tears. "Even though you are saying this, Dina… even though it's painful… I still love you and not only as a friend.", but Carlos also said and gave Dina a sad smile as his tears are still continuously falling from his eyes. "I am sorry, Carlos.", Dina felt so sorry and she was moved by Carlos's tears. "No, don't... I wanted this. Please don't be sorry, don't ever blame yourself, Dina. I chose this because I really love you.", Carlos said and bowed his head to stop himself from crying. Even though Carlos was crying, he still looks manly. 'If that's the case… thank you.", Dina replied and caressed Carlos's hair to soothe him. They were both silent and were nailed in that position for a long time. After few minutes, Carlos raised his head and wiped his tears, then he showed Dina a sad smile. Carlos was trying his best to cope up with his broken heart, he wanted to show Dina that he is happy with this… his eyes shone not with happiness but due to his tears and Dina is fully aware of that. 'I'm so overly dramatic, best. Such a diva… it doesn't suit me.", Carlos laughed. Dina smiled a bit but it was a forced smile due to her guilt that she cannot love Carlos back the way he loves her. "Maybe… it's okay for me to continue being your best friend, Dina. Just make sure… you won't let other men to court or even flirt with you.", Carlos said. Dina laughed heartily this time. "Then it's just like you are owning me already.", Dina laughingly complained. "Why? Then do you plan to go on a date with other men? You are going to let them court you?!", Carlos frowned exaggeratingly. "Haha! Don't be insecure... I didn't even allow you to court me, why would I let others do it then?", Dina smiled. Carlos stared at Dina's happy face and he became serious. 'Yes… just like that, Dina. Just smile like this when you're with me. This would be enough for me.", Carlos said. Dina was surprised and once again felt guilty. It feels like she was using Carlos and she doesn't want that. 'Well! SO! What's your plan?", Carlos immediately changed the topic when he was Dina's sad eyes again "Anything best… whatever you think is the best for me.", Dina's words were full of trust for Carlos. 'Job hunt?", Carlos. "Sure, sure.", Dina tried to sound lively. "Actually, I have a job here as an elementary teacher before. I am going back to teach there again. It's hard to teach here, requires a lot of patience." Carlos said. 'Don't worry… with what I have experienced lately, I have learned patience now.", Dina assured Carlos. 'You had become matured, I'm proud of you.", Carlos complimented Dina. 'Thank you! Thank you!", Dina joked as she raised her arms as if she was a famous person and people clapped at her. Carlos laughed. 'You're too serious.", Dina commented. 'Yeah, I know. Haha.", Carlos laughed as he scratched his head.