Chapter one hundred and eightieth

Poof... Forgive Bai Mei, she didn't mean to be so gossip, really, can't help it, can't help it. She looked up at the sky, who was so spoofing that she abruptly broke Su Yan, such a perfect man, into Gay. Damn it, damn it, it was thunder. Although, she actually thinks Chen Yun is quite safe, if it can really make Su Yan happy, it is also good. In any case, she just always hopes that Su Yan will find her own happiness. As for who this happiness comes from, it is good. It is better to like a man who is a servant but sincere than to like a woman who looks bright but is full of bad water. Bai Mei comforted himself and decided to wait for Su Yan to wake up and tell Su Yan that there was absolutely no need to make himself half dead because of this. She should have died a long time ago. Everyone said so, and so did she, but she refused to die. Later, no one pointed at her and scolded her again. She was forgotten here, but a bowl of cold rice every day. She slowly couldn't remember what she had done or who she was, but she still remembered that she was a damn person and a person who refused to die. It's hard to say what it is to obsess about it, but no one can deny its existence. For example, her obsession is to live or wait for him to see her for the last time. Blink dry eyes, she tried to shrink herself smaller, in winter, the weather gets colder, but she is still wearing autumn clothes, she is very careful to wear, did not change, clothes are dirty, but she can only endure. She is just a prisoner, imprisoned in this former woodshed and completely forgotten by her master. She was cold and hungry. She brought it on herself. When she thought so, she wondered what she had done. She had not talked to anyone for a year, had not gone out, and had not seen the sunshine. This made her more and more dull and blurred in the past. She just remembered that she had done something that could not be forgiven. It is better to die than to live like this. But she just wants to take one last look at him and know that he is good, and she can die. When she thinks so, she suddenly can't remember his name and his appearance. She only vaguely remembers that he should be a very handsome man. When she smiles, it seems that she can melt the ice into spring water in an instant. There is a hole under the door of the woodhouse. She stares at the hole, loving and hating. In summer, countless mosquitoes and flies got in from there, and in winter, the biting cold also invaded from there. However, the clear water and cold rice that kept her life were also sent from there. She vaguely remembered that the same was true of that man, which made her love and hate. Yes, she remembered. She used to have a crazy crush on him, when she didn't know who he was. He smiled astringently and gave himself to her. The next morning, she learned that he was having an affair with another woman. The other woman is just the target she wants to please and win over. She panicked, she was angry, she ran away. She is not without regret, she hurt a man who may be innocent. Until she learned that this man married another powerful woman, her first reaction was to worry, not about herself, but about the man who lost his virginity would be rejected and would be... She closed her eyes, dry eyes, no tears, she did not love him, just guilty. She doesn't love him, otherwise she wouldn't have been so timid. That man, I met him again later. Yes, she remembers. She knew that she was bound to die, but she still wanted to see him before she died. On the last side, she was caught by the woman's men. She tried to slip away sophistry, but in the end she could only give in easily and was locked up in a muddle. When he said goodbye, he didn't say a word, just stared at her coldly, and she only dared to shrink in the corner more timidly than before. He stood upright, and there were no servants to wait on him. Only the housekeeper who came to deliver meals every day stood behind him and waited, looking indifferent. His clothes are simple in style and color, but they are still luxurious and are the softest and most comfortable brocade. It's not that she doesn't want to speak. She wants to apologize, but she feels extremely hypocritical. She is indeed extremely hypocritical. She can't even remember his name now, but she still insists on living under his banner. Perhaps, her obsession has never been with him, just want to live, live. She also doesn't remember her first name very much. She only vaguely remembers that her last name is extremely noble and is Anping. Once her name was spoken out, it would shock half of the capital. But now, she smiled wry, maybe the surname is still noble, but she has been humble to the point where she can no longer be humble. She doesn't deserve more. She doesn't deserve to miss her former lover, the warmth, and even the sunshine and moonlight that she can enjoy at will.