Fanwai-No Worship (BE Version)

Time always goes by so fast. How long has it been since the last worship ceremony, and it is another year of Qingming Festival. When he realized this matter, Anping Yongyan unconsciously put aside his royal pen, and his brow was dyed with some light sorrow. She suddenly recalled that when she first saw the legendary Bai Mei when she was young, she emboldened by curiosity and poked the smiling face of the man, which was not as beautiful as real. She still seems to remember clearly now that the man once said to himself, "... of course not, if you need me, just call me, I will definitely come..." At that time, she was still young, and she could shout freely: "Bai Hou, I like you!" Hearing this, the man waved to himself and bent his eyes with laughter. That woman, when she laughs, inexplicably makes others feel happy and satisfied. The first in the world, so elegant and elegant, at that time, she worshipped this legendary person from her heart, even her teacher, seemed unwilling to do so. But when she turned back to the palace, she couldn't help twittering to everyone about the goodness of Bai Hou, but she saw her father secretly blushing. "Dad..." She immediately timid, secretly tugging at her father's skirt. She always remembers that once when there was no one around, he took a wide sleeve, picked her up, and asked in a very low voice: "Yan Er, quietly, just once, don't call me father and princess, call me father once?" The closeness of ordinary families is probably the envy of these distinguished but lonely people. Her father has always been the most doting on her, probably because of her mother's neglect, so he devoted all his thoughts to her. Only in the face of him, Anping Yongyan will hate the injustice between the palace and the palace. She sometimes feels that her father is so good that she should not be trapped in this small palace. She sometimes blames herself. Is it because she is not good enough that the mother emperor seldom comes to visit her father? Later, she realized that the mother emperor seldom came, not because she was not good, not because her father was not good, but because the emperor's heart had never really cared about the lonely but gentle man in the harem. The emperor doesn't care about his husband, what should he care about? The country, the country... and her crown prince, and then what? Then Anping Yongyan, seeing that she worshipped and trusted Bai Hou like that, dropped a gentle kiss on her mother's face. She turned and ran, afraid to look back. Shocked? Disgusting? No! She just felt unacceptable fear. Fear... After that, suspicion. The mother emperor seldom came to visit her father. Her first words were: "Have you seen Bai Mei? What did you say to her?" She felt a cold feeling, from the soles of her feet to her heart and then to her fingertips, trembling pale and feeble. Every time I see the gentle and beautiful woman who is not like a woman, Anping Yongyan will feel a deep despair and loss. As if he had never done anything, the man smiled at her, gave her the treasures of the world as a gift, recommended the best teacher for her, and explained all her doubts. However, there are also daring waiters, who do not know who instigated them to poke a little bit. Hearing this, the man just bent his eyes and smiled brightly, as if he didn't care, as if he wanted to be proud. More than once, she almost asked, "Bai Hou, do you know what Ning Xing is? How can you... so?" Fortunately, it was just a little bit. She was glad more than once that when she grew up slowly, she suddenly understood what kind of disaster a courtier would bring to the world. An Ping Yan Xuan, the emperor, can sip his lips and say affirmatively in a soft voice: "I believe her. As soon as she is in the country, every day is like every day." But she, the emperor's daughter, Anping Yongyan, could not believe it. That man is a prince, rich, powerful and someone. And she is the king's daughter, with potential, ambition and courage. She began to secretly gather her rights. Began to secretly hate everything Bai Hou got. Maybe it's not hate, it's jealousy. Maybe it's not jealousy, but envy. She is so hard, but Bai Mei and her two children raised as babies seem so relaxed. She began to hate Bai Mei's smile. Why, this person destroyed and hurt her father's happiness, but he can still smile so cleanly and easygoing? Why, she hates this person so much, but she is still unconsciously attracted by her smile? At that time, she thought a lot. But she never thought that the woman she worshipped when she was a child and wary of suppressing when she grew up turned out to be her biological mother. She never thought that her mother emperor, who was kind but sharp in handling affairs, turned out to be a man who took the place of her sister who died early and ascended the throne. She never thought that the expectation and loneliness in her father's eyes were not for the mother emperor who never stayed, but for a small bodyguard leader who was humble but stubborn and strong outside the East Imperial Gate. ... If it had been earlier, I could have thought of how good it would have been. Even if, only one day earlier. Even, only an hour earlier. Won't, to provoke the burden of killing people in advance, don't want to stand alone in this cold bright yellow? Even less, during this Qingming Festival, I wanted to find a place to worship, but suddenly remembered that there was no place for her to pay homage to people who could be called parents... Dad, Niang... You know, a solitary grave is not the bleakest scenery. Can you know, there is no worship, is the deepest and deepest loneliness.