CHAPTER FIFTY: NIGHT TERRORS QUADRUPLED

From that night, it started to get worse. Every night successively, I began to experience not one, not two but four episodes of those terrors. I had not seen Robin in a while and when I called him, he didn't answer me anymore. I could have told him to help me, right? But he didn't answer me anymore. The last time I saw him was when he visited my parents and told them that he was the one who paid for my eye surgery, with evidences of my hospital reports in his hand, which he got from God-knows-where. It was not that he ignored me deliberately or he was being silent on purpose. I knew that the war had begun. He did tell me it was going to last a long time, and that it was going to be really tough, and that he might not be able to return to the earth anymore. I didn't want to believe him but he couldn't be lying to me, could he? He couldn't, especially when he already saw that stuff like that scared me. If I dwelled on the reality that I might never get to see the three beautiful castle maids-Prisca, Elaine and Jido, including Robin and the beautiful Were-castle and Robin's gorgeous magical library and the garden and stable and the pool where the moon lived, ever again, I'd burst into tears, sitting in a fetal position and hugging myself tightly because no one would understand. Even if I told them. How would it sound in your ears if I told you that I missed three people so much and when you asked me to go visit them or call them then, I reply with, "They are not on earth" And you go like, "Oh are they dead? I'm so sorry, I didn't know" , and I shake my head and say, "No they are not. They are not on this planet, yet they are not dead". Wouldn't you recommend a psychiatrist to me, especially seeing that I am not even kidding? That's it. Only Robin, Miranda, Joe and those maids would understand my feeling. Mom would never, Dr Brown would never, no matter how he tried. As soon as I fell asleep, it'd start. This time, I was neither falling nor sinking nor getting punctured by a sharp object, but I was being strangled. I'd feel two hands on my neck trying to suffocate me to death. I really couldn't catch my breath at these times, and probably, I could die if I didn't wake up on time. Immediately I opened my eyes, I'd cough and cough , not because I felt the pressure anyway. It was just a involuntary reaction. It was not real because I didn't feel any pain as soon as I was awake. The worst thing about this was, I knew who was strangling me. It was Gregory. I mean, that was exactly how he looked like, on those days he used to appear at my window and at camp, when I was alone. It must be him. This person didn't look any different. I wonder why he wanted to kill me. I had no hand in his death. I didn't know him in his lifetime. I wasn't even born yet. So, why would his ghost keep tormenting me? And he never spoke to me or let me know what he wanted. Robin's advice on exorcising him didn't work. It didn't work and now Robin was not available for me. I was dead scared. It happened like that every night, for two weeks, and my parents never suspected a thing, because they slept soundly every night and because I had measures to control the sounds that escaped my mouth during these frightening moments. My temperature was high everytime I woke up, but there was no pain anywhere. This same experience was painted by me and kept in my wardrobe for future references. One of those nights, I was up, kneeling at my bedside and burying my head into my duvet, soiling it with tears streaming down my face. I was alone. I felt alone. In the whole wide world. Even my own parents hardly noticed me. The little things mom used to notice about me she didn't notice anymore, and even if she did, she took it with levity. Don't judge her though--she was, and still is the best mother in the world. She was only at that point, at a crossroads in her life where she didn't know how to give attention to everyone in her life all at once. Her babies were at the daycare most of the time, being babysitted. She also hardly gave attention to herself. So, it was not only me suffering the neglect. It wasn't as if she could help me though. She could only hug me and sleep in my bed and make me feel not so alone, but she couldn't do more, like stop the night terrors. And that was what I wanted. These night terrors should end. Gregory's spirit tormented me so much, and when I couldn't take it anymore, that was on the fourteenth night, I went to sleep without the cotton wool and duct tape. I had had enough of his torments, and the lonely feeling. So, when he came again, while I was deep into my sleep, I screamed. A deafening scream. My voice was light and soft normally, but I never knew I could scream so loud and sharply until that night. I knew it was loud because in the morning, Mike told me that he had heard my voice in the middle of the night. My parents came rushing down the hallway into my room, with staggering steps. I heard their footsteps. Was it the duct tape preventing them from hearing all this while, or I had indeed screamed too loudly? Till today, I dont know because I never asked. I didn't want them to know it had been more frequent and worse than ever. I also did not know if Gregory's spirit came into my room for real and pressed my neck, or it was in my dream. I really don't know. As soon as they were in my room, I quitened down. Mom said my face was horrific. I immediately fell into her arms and started to cry so much. She patted my back and told me to try relaxing because she was there with me. Cameron looked very concerned too, I caught his expression with a corner of my eyes. He held my feet and massaged them carefully. I relished the calming effects their presence had on me. Mom started to whisper prayers into my ears with tears in her eyes. She kept saying sorry to me too. I knew why she was sorry. Only I don't know if it was enough to be sorry about. It was because she stopped sleeping in my room Before I got purged of my memories, we had promised each other to stay together and fight Cameron. That included her sleeping in my room every night, and not with him. But she had left me to be with this same Cameron. Cameron started to rock both of us that moment because we were both in tears. I cried mostly because I was sure mom would not force, but persuade me to visit Dr Brown with her, later that day. She'd make me see reason in doing that. That's what she always did "Dr Brown is a very good therapist. He can help you get better, I promise you baby. I've known him for years" she would say. I wanted it too. I mean, I wanted a therapy , a solution too, but this was supernatural. Dr Brown didn't see spirits of dead men. So he can't possibly cure me. I had told Gregory to leave me alone, and go after whoever killed him, but he remained in our house. Didn't that spell something? Did it mean that his killer lived with us? I thought deeply, while I cried on mom's chest. After a while, I wiped my tears away, and lifted my head, and with a tone so critical, I asked both of them, "Do you know any Gregory?"