FIFTY FOUR-- CYCLE OF LIFE

Cycling round town was the first round of fun we had, that week. Peter got me a bicycle since all the other girls had theirs. Mine was back at home in Kangaroo Estate. I hardly rode my bicycle especially as I had destroyed the pedal in my anger on one of those days mom and Cameron argued, from morning till whenever. Of course Mrs Harley didn't want us cycling round town because she thought we were reckless kids, she actually did say, "Cycling on the main street or near it is not for reckless kids, but for professional bikers. I will not approve of that" I remember her and Miranda having a heated argument concerning this. Miranda had left the house in anger, after realizing that her mom was hellbent on allowing us cycle within the compound only. I didn't see her again until late afternoon. She came in, later, around 5pm, with suncream and rubbed my body with it, the other girls rubbed their faces too. Then, she asked us to wear some attires which she had got from the cheapest convenience store with her savings. They were similar attires. Afterwards, she asked all of us to follow her with our bicycles. Mrs Harley did not say a word, as we quietly went after her daughter like sheep following their shepherd. I wondered what was going on in her mind as she watched us go. Her expression read nothing but horror. More of apprehension than fury. Miranda's overgrown rebellion must have shocked her, or scared her, or both. That evening, we cycled round town, as we planned, first slowly and then faster. She made us move so fast I started to get scared. The other girls had to slow down at intervals so I could catch up with them. Miranda was the fastest; she was so fast that I thought she'd get knocked down by vehicles but she was equally very careful. She obviously had so much agility and dexterity with swerving and cycling fast. The other girls were as good as she was. I was not so good, so they kept me in between them, and asked me to keep to the pedestrian lane mostly , and be slow on the main road. There were not so many vehicles, so it was easier for me to do, and it was a lot of fun. Miranda had made five of us dress in the same attire and wear the same helmet, so we looked like quintuplets. She kept looking back at us, and flashing her million-dollar smile, and it felt like this was a dream come true for her. The chilly evening air blew our hair sideways and rushed into our noses as we doubled our swiftness on the pedals. I felt on top of the world as I watched the sun set slowly. We cycled for hours on end. Miranda led us away from our street and to another street, and we only stopped when we were very tired and out thighs were aching. We stopped under a tree in another street around 8:30pm and sat on the grass laughing our hearts out. Miranda looked very happy. It felt like she'd never been that happy in a while. "At last! I did something different this year! Oh my daisies! Oh my daffodils!" she laughed, spreading her hands towards the sky. I didn't know if the other girls understood what she meant. I did. I knew she was trying to control her Déjà Vu. That's why she went out of her way to cycle around two different streets. Even if it meant disobeying her mother and getting rebellious. She looked like she'd not let anything get in her way. Not even her own mother. She didn't cycle that last year. That time the previous year, she was somewhere else. "At least, something different is happening this year" After a while, we all fell silent and laid vertically on the grass, bodies touching, everyone of us staring at the sky. And something happened. Miranda shut her eyes tightly and went into a trance. I didn't know if I should call it a trance but she started saying so many things with strong emotions in her voice, with her eyes still shut of course. "Daddy, can you see me from here?" She began. The three other girls touched her shoulder as if on cue, trying to calm her down. They must be already used to seeing her like that. "Daddy, I made four friends! They're all strong and pretty! You must be so proud of me, dad! I told you I'd make a lot of friends. I promised you I'd not let loneliness be my drive" she went on, with laughter playing on her lips. Her laughter was painful. "Daddy! I promise I'd not cry over you this year again. You told me not to cry. You always tell me that, so when it's your death anniversary again, I'd be off at a place partying and living life. I'd not brood about you. I promise. I'll be happy, because you want me to be happy. This happiness today, is for you, dad". Her voice suddenly went off, and gradually became less audible. When I looked at her, I saw she was crying with her eyes still shut. "Why have you stopped talking to me daddy? Why did you leave me? I miss you so much." "It's okay, Mira" Phoebe whispered. I held Miranda's hand and rubbed it, because I didn't know what else to do. I could relate to her rush of emotions. It was exactly how I felt after Joe died. Her tears reminded me of him, and I didn't realize that I was shedding tears as well, until I felt the drop on my collar. "I'm so lonely" she cried. "No, Mira, I'm always here, all of us. I promise." I said to her. That was what Robin had said to me when I first knew him, but now he was nowhere to be found. I might have lost him forever, who knew? Thinking about that really hurt, because it was hard to accept that I'll never get to see him again. Just like it was hard to accept that I'd never see Joe again And just like it was hard for Miranda to accept that she'd never get to see her father again. He was gone. Joe was gone too. Robin was... Gone? All of a sudden, I felt a surge of emotions well up in me , coupled with a chilly air that gave me bad goosebumps from inside out, and some uncomfortable heat rushed to my eyes and cheeks. The weather was very normal, so what I felt was out of order. It was how I felt whenever the spooky figure wanted to appear. I was so scared he'd come again that moment, so scared that I grabbed Miranda tighter and shut my eyes. She must have seen my fear, because she opened her tear-soaked eyes and pulled me close. The other girls embraced us too. On the grass. On a warm Friday evening. I was not going to open my eyes until I stopped feeling unusually cold. The goosebumps started to clear off my skin after some minutes, and the heat that had rushed to my face gave way to a normal temperature, and so, I slowly opened my eyes, because everywhere was almost totally quiet. Nothing was out of sorts. Except dogs barking violently from a kennel in one of the houses in the neighborhood, very near us. Their barking was ominous. I couldn't have felt goosebumps for nothing. I turned my head around, to the other side of the grass and there was my fear seated carefully on the stump of the tree, few metres away from us. He looked sullen, like he was crying, because he had his hands on his faceless face. I shut my eyes and opened them again, but he was still there. The rest of the girls disengaged from one another and sat up on the grass. They stared at me, their eyes demanding an explanation for my wandering eyes. "Are you okay?" Jennifer asked. I nodded carefully. "Are you scared of the dogs? They're chained, don't worry, okay?" Phoebe added. Only Michelle had not spoken since we arrived that neighborhood. She looked on. I had to wear a fake smile to make them stop worrying about me. "Yeah I'm okay" I said, secretly still stealing glances at Gregory, seated carefully on the stump. I wondered how I could see him but they couldn't. I especially wondered why he chose to appear now. Miranda dipped her hands into her pockets and fetched a necklace that shone with the reflection of the streetlights. "What do you think, girls? Should I throw this away?" She asked looking at us. "What is that? Who gave it to you?' "It's my father's parting gift. Should I throw it in the sea? He asked me to stop brooding over him, but this right here, reminds me of him. I know I was very young, but I remember" she said. "I think you should keep it somewhere far away and only look at it when you miss him, or many years later. Throwing it away might hurt more" Michelle spoke for the first time since we got there. "Okay" she said and while they talked, I quickly stole a glance at Gregory on the stump, but he was not there. I turned back to the girls and saw him squatting directly behind Miranda. I couldn't hide the scream that escaped my lips because seeing him so close, he looked more scary. "What's wrong? Why did you scream like that?" Miranda yelled. She was clearly upset. "I told you to stop screaming like that. It reminds me of bad things! Don't you ever hear an instruction!" She yelled, stood up angrily, with the necklace falling off her thigh as she stormed out of the circle. We all took after her, as we walked towards the tree where our bicycles laid. I wanted to help pick the necklace that fell because I didn't think other girls noticed, but I was too scared to do it. I screamed because it was now clear that Gregory, the spooky figure was Gregory Harley, Miranda's dead father.