SEVENTY FIVE: LETTERS AND FETTERS

The week after that, I saw it first-- The next thing that happened to Nicole's family that I never was able to read about. It was a Saturday and I was bored. Mom was out delivering grocery and junk foods, iced fish and other stuff the company she worked in, sold. My sisters were indoors, doing their 'homework'. I was tempted to send them to the neighbors so I could have some time alone before mom got back, but I decided against it. What if I pushed them into some danger? I was overthinking it apparently. Suddenly, I felt all directionless, every single day after losing my survival guide. I needed fresh air all the time because i literally couldn't breathe properly. 'I shouldn't have burnt the book' I kept blaming myself. I wanted to go out of the house, maybe take a short walk- a very short one, but Barnabas was out, in their front yard. He was bent over some aloe vera plants in their vase- the one in the entrance to their home. Not that he'd call me or disturb me if he saw me anyway. He only just stared all the time. Barn gave me butterflies in my belly each time I looked at him or he looked at me. I didn't know what exactly it meant but I'd hide everytime I saw him around. He is such a tall guy with sapphire eyes and curly brown hair. Fourteen and 5'9, he played basketball. I didn't play basketball because I thought I was not tall enough for it. I was 5'6 at eleven. I hid and watched him until he completed whatever it was he was doing, and as soon as he went inside their house, I came out of hiding, went out to check our mailbox. I didn't plan doing that. I just wanted to find something to keep me occupied. It was not a good time to paint because I had to keep an eye on my sisters, I shouldn't go too far from the house or do something that'd be so engrossing. There was a mailbox outside our house. I assumed mom got tired of reading them all, because I found a bunch of junk in them, or perhaps it was meant for our neighbors as well. I was emptying them on the grass when I saw this particular one that caught my attention. "How do we have so many letters in here?" I thought. I only saw the mailman once or twice. Did we have anyone sending us messages? Maybe it was Jack. It wasn't him. At least most of them weren't him. A few of them were appreciatory and affectionate. Those could be him, but the rest of them were mostly subscriptions to an advert and purely junks. Just a bunch of unnecessary mails that someone sent. Well, there was one attractive one. Looked new. It was a small piece of paper. Actually the envelope it was packaged in was catchy, and that was what attracted me to it first. I pulled it out carefully and let my eyes dart around the bold block letters. "I AM COMING FOR YOU SOON!!☠?" It would have been normal to me except it was written in bold red ink, and those were the only words on the paper. With two exclamation marks and an angry emoji and a skull. "Who's this?" I thought. I put it in my pants' pocket and went back into the house. I checked the design on the envelope. It was new and fine, but there was no name, no description or signature. It was disturbing. When I showed mom, she sighed, held her head and sat on a chair all at once. She stared it for what seemed like a lifetime and then told me not to worry my little heart about anything. But I was very sure the message shook her. It was obvious this would not be her first time receiving such. She instructed me, more like commanded me not to bother checking our mails. Then, I saw her tear the paper into numerous pieces. It went into the trash can. "I'll check them myself, okay?" She retorted, matter-of-factly. The following week, I went to check the mailbox again. There, in the box was another threatening message, in another envelope, same as the previous. "YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM ME" Now that was clearly pretty disturbing. I took the paper, and put it in my drawer before mom could see it. She came thudding into my room the next morning demanding that I hand over what I took. "I know you saw another mail. Hand it over,Ariana. I told you not to check in there anymore" she was very upset. I had developed the habit of collecting those letters out of curiosity. I fished the latest paper out and handed it to her. "Look, I don't want you reading these. Not anymore, okay? You don't need them. It's not something serious either, just some little guy playing pranks with me. Got it?" She should have known me better. I can't be lied to. I know when mom's lying and that's very rare. Maybe once a year. "If it's not something serious, why do you look so scared, mom?" I thought. I wanted to ask her this, but I didn't. She was obviously hiding something. I knew she needed help and I desperately wanted to find her one. Even if you say I tried my best, I wouldn't agree with you, because today, when I think carefully about it, I think I could have done better. I didn't have the courage to tell Jack even though I knew he cared about her. I still had his number on my cellphone, but I hadn't seen him since we left our country. I didn't know anyone or anywhere in Germany. Everyday, it was me going to school from home, or going home from school. I didn't go to any other place to avoid getting lost in the crowd of strange men and women. We didn't even find a suitable church yet, or maybe mom was not ready to find us a church. She desperately avoided any help, because she wanted to be left alone to sort out her 'tangled' life. I should have told Jack. Should have called him on phone. My phone was bad, the one mom gave to me but I still had my prize money, more than enough to buy a phone. My prize money was $3000 in total, plus a big statue of recognition that beautified my room. Also, mom told me that they already put my name in the World Guinness records. I should have bought a new phone. I had no excuse. Instead, I went to Barn. That's silly, right? I know. I went to him few days after. That same day, I didn't get any letters in the box. Realizing that, I didn't feel relieved at all. Instead, my fears heightened. I thought the person was waiting for a response from mom. I never thought it could be Cameron because I thought he was a good man. I still blamed mom for leaving him, and that was because my memories were not fully back yet. It was my first real talk with him. It was on a Wednesday evening, and I just woke up from a short nap. That day, I drifted off to sleep every second throughout school because I had only a few hours of sleep the previous night. I figured it was insomnia. When I checked the mirror, I didn't really like what I saw. I had chapped lips, and eyebags. I wanted to talk to Barnabas but i dared not appear to him like that. I decided to wait a while, to have a bath or something but when I heard him telling his mom goodbye, I ran into my bathroom and hurriedly washed my face. He had basketball to play, and as soon as I saw him leave the house, I followed him, dressed in my sports uniform. Thankfully, Pamela and Jamie were with mommy. She picked them up from school while I walked home. I wore mom's lipstick and eyeshadow and as there was no time to wash my hair, I just packed it into a ponytail. I hid in one of the rooms at the field and watched him play with the other boys and girls, from the window. When the game was over, I followed him home. He stopped to look back when he saw me. "Barnabas" I called. He was taken aback. He probably thought I didn't know his name, because we never talked until then. He walked up to me and stared. "Are you okay?" "No" I said, my expression sullen. My eyes were a bit puffy from last night's short sleep but because I wore some eyeshadow, it looked good, not puffy. Just fine. We started to talk as we walked home. I told him to slow down because he was walking too fast. I didn't want to get back home just yet. "What's happening?" He asked. "You're always bright-faced but today, you look frightened" he said. I let him hold my hand. Somehow, it impressed me to know that he noticed a change in my countenance. "Are you hungry? Mom's making a large lunch, you can come over" "No I'm not hungry. I have some cookies at home if I need some" I told him. "Do you feel alone because your mom and sisters are away?" "No, I'm fine. They will be back in an hour or two" I explained honestly. "So, talk to me. Why have you been following me?" I wanted to tell him to let's go somewhere private because I didn't want anyone to hear us but he insisted he had to rush home. I had so many things to say. Like, "could you help tell your mom that my mom is in danger? Tell her we are being threatened by a stranger and that my mom needs some help. Do not tell my mom that I told you this" And also, "Do you believe in the Supernatural? What kind of a person are you? Can we be best friends? I think I like you" Lol. "I'm smelly and hungry. Could you wait for me to change?" He pleaded with his eyes, and without waiting for my response, he disappeared into their apartment. I hoped he'd be back before mom returned. I waited for so long and I was about to go to their door and yell his name when he appeared again, now in shorts and a regular t-shirt with the words, "Stay Positive" boldly inscribed on it. He took me back to the field and bought me ice cream on our way. I thought he was very nice and for some reason, I changed my mind about telling him my family problems. I said instead, I said, "I don't know how to explain it" and it was true to some extent. "I think you don't wanna talk to me because you think I'm a stranger" he said, his sapphire eyes boring into my soul. My face flushed pink. I guessed I'm not the only one who's much smarter than my age. "Can we be friends first?" He asked, smiling. He was so mature. I said yes, sounding rather too desperately. But for all I cared, he was now my friend and I was going to make him my best friend. One and only best friend. But, I didn't know that it was not meant to be.