FIFTY SEVEN: TEQUILA

I left the table and walked to the lounge to get some juice. I had to walk past the lounge to reach the refrigerator. I had already poured the leftover juice and was turning back when I saw mom, the loving Ruby Gonzalez walk in through the door that led out of the lounge. She was holding a bag. I was so shocked that the glass dropped from my hands and the juice spilled on the floor. I didn't bother wiping it. I just ran back into Miranda's room and shut the door from inside immediately. "But I told her not to come" I thought. Why's she here for Goodness' sake?! I was so jittery because I thought my mom would take me home by nook or by crook. Miranda came knocking on the door, claiming my mother was around to see me but I did not open the door. I called on Robin for the umpteenth time to intervene in the situation but there was no response from him as usual. How could mom still travel all the way down here despite that I told her I was not going home with her? "Your mom is here, Ary. Why are you hiding?" Miranda kept hitting the door. "She wants to take me home. I don't want to go home now. Please help me plead with her." I told her. "At least come out and hear your mom out. It's not like she'd swallow you whole. Stop being so silly" So much for being a good example. As if she listened to her own mother. I reluctantly opened the door and met mom in the living room where she sat with a bag in her hand. Her car was parked outside the house. She was alone and very quiet. She looked like a robot. There was no life in her eyes. She seemed to not notice that I was already standing before her, because her lifeless eyes were still affixed onto whatever it was she had been staring at in the living room. "Mom" I called, sitting beside her. It seemed she had lost a bit of weight around her shoulder areas. I wondered if Cameron's illness was that serious. It must be really serious. "Baby, I'm not here to take you away" she finally spoke, boring her eyes which now had some life, into mine. "I'm here to check up on you. You startled me on phone" Oh my! Sweet mom! She had to travel down here to see if I was fine because I had said, "I don't know, mom but if I come home now, I might lose a part of my body". It was indeed frightening. She looked like she needed a lot of explanation. And I had a lot of explaining to do. Miranda and my two other friends left the house after giving me directions on where we are to meet, to drink coffee. They promised they were going to hang around until I was through with mom. Miranda was especially nice to my mother. That in itself made me believe that she didn't have stubbornness in her. It surfaced from accumulation of pain, and grew into a large tree with strong roots. "Why did you say that? Mom began. "I just had a bad feeling about coming home today" I said. It was going to be more absurd to respond with, "Because I found that it happened to one girl called Nicole in a book that someone of supernatural nature gave to me, and because Nicole is me in some way." That would make mom agree that I was 100% crazy, so I just said, "It was my instincts, mom. I felt there might be an accident or something." "But you've never said something like this before. Did you dream about an accident?" "Yes, kind of." I lied. It was more credible that way. "Oh okay. I trust your instincts" "How's he? " I asked. "Is his illness serious? What's the nature of his illness?" I didn't want to ask, but I pushed it out of my mouth nevertheless. I was too scared of hearing the answer because I already knew it. "I don't know. He just woke up claiming that his arms felt too heavy to move. Then, his head and now he can't even freely move almost all parts of his body. He's confined to..." I was too familiar with those lines because those were Nicole's mother's words to her, in the book I threw in the trash can: "Beginning and End of a girl named Nicole" "What could be wrong?" I questioned. It was frightening. Why did I have to be Nicole? "The doctor said his joints and muscles are in good shape, so he doesn't see why it should be difficult to move. Well, he's been placed on pain reliefs. I hope he gets better. His eyes look dead. Blood doesn't even circulate in his body easily. I'm scared" Mom sighed. "Don't be scared, mommy. He's probably stressed" "But he's not even working. He's on a leave from work. Has been on leave ever since he and I reconciled. So what's going on exactly?" She said, clutching the bag tightly on her body. She looked like she would cry the next minute. "I can't even touch him. It feels like I'm touching a cold, hard rock..I am really scared" she cried. Normally, no woman would feel at ease opening up to her first daughter that way, especially one who's only a child, but it was not the case with mom. At least not anymore. Not after I found out so many things between them..She did it now that she knew that I knew many things about them, and because like she said, "you're very wise for your age". She seems to find succor in talking to me. "It's okay , mom" I rocked her. "Where are my sisters?" "At Jack's, with the babysitter" she said, wiping her eyes with the hem of her garments. "now is a time I need Jack like ever before. That's why I'm glad he's there for me" she forced a smile. "Thank God. What about dad?" I asked innocently. "He's in the hospital. He can't even use a wheelchair because his body is too stiff to put on it. So he's confined to the bed. He can hardly move his head. I'm glad he still talks though" Mom said, sighing intermittently. "This is bad" I said. That moment, it occured to me that I probably made the biggest mistake by throwing that book away. I hoped it'd be still be in the trash can, because I saw Peter carry it out in the morning. I stood up immediately, excused myself and went in search of it. The trash can was empty! I didn't check the dumping site for it until mom left. Before she left, she had said, "Cameron said he needed to talk to me about two things and he made me promise to not leave him after I must have heard it. I don't know what it is but I promised him that as long as he retained his caring behavior, I would stick with him. Not that I was sure of that, but it was a thing of the moment. I'll let you know what it is. I just hope it wouldn't ruin too many things, because he looked really anxious" I needed to know what it was he wanted to say. I needed the book back. But Peter had dumped it. "Oh no!" I cried. I called Miranda immediately to ask if she knew where Peter dumped the refuse. "Why? Check the site" I did, and luckily I found it in the middle of rubbish. The cover was already soiled with debris. But since it was gold nylon, it could be wiped off. The debris didn't stick to it. I was so grateful. Over 'coffee' that morning, my mind was not in the moment. I was too distracted to ask Miranda what bottles of booze were doing on the table before us, and why two young adult guys were seated with us. I thought Miranda said we were having coffee. While they got carried away with drinking and chatting, I opened the book carefully, under the table to find out what Nicole's father's fate would be. But I couldn't read past the first line. I closed it immediately and forced myself to be distracted with the partying. "I am your father's murderer", Drake began, his words slurred. "I killed him some years ago". His wife's face turned red. What's going to happen if mom finds out Cameron killed her father whom she never met? Ruby Gonzalez had always thought her father was a useless, irresponsible husband who abandoned his wife and daughters but what did she know? Did she know anything about him? Was she going to be hurt about this revelation, even though she never even met this man? I thought Miranda handed me a glass of what looked like cocktail. I took it because she said it'd make me forget what was distracting me, and put me in the moment. I did forget. Or maybe it was because I fell asleep after downing fifteen shots. I could not feel my head anymore, so I passed out. I wondered if Robin was watching me or if he had completely forgotten me.