SEVENTY ONE-- THE NIGHT WE LEFT SCOTLAND

"Ruby" his voice came as a whisper instead. He was waddling on the floor in a bid to reach her ankles as a support or as a gesture of apology. Whichever it was, I could see it annoyed her. Unapologetically and without casting him any glance, mom walked out of the room before he could get to her. I was standing in the corridor to my room, my school bag packed together before me. My room was almost empty, because everything I wasn't going to use was already rolled up into a corner by mom, and what I would need were packed in two big bags. She made sure I took all of my shoes and dresses because Cameron would dump them anyway. It was on a Friday evening, and that was about a week after the incident at Nora's parents' anniversary. I didn't know why mom waited till evening before asking us to pack, but I knew it was deliberate. Perhaps it was because of the neighbors, she certainly wouldn't want anyone asking questions. There were so many lies to give, for example, mom could say something like, "we are traveling to see my mother and we'll be back in two weeks", owing to the fact that none of the neighbors knew my grandmother was already dead, or if that didn't work, she could say something like "we are all going on a vacation and Cameron promised to join us later", but the truth would soon be revealed if after two, three, four , five weeks there was no sign of return of any of us. And Cameron is left alone in the house, almost totally helpless. Perhaps that was what mom was avoiding so bad, and that was the reason for her waiting till around 7pm before she asked me to start packing up. Actually, we had started packing since morning. I only had to do some finishing touches to my room because i was not going to leave behind any of my paintings and wallpapers. But my own concern that evening was, Were we really going to leave the house and travel to a different country at 7pm? Or was mom just putting up a scene to see his reaction? No it didn't look like the latter even though I desperately prayed it to be. After all that had happened, mom didn't look like a desperate plea would change her mind. She had it made up already, knotted and sealed. She wanted us to leave, and we did leave. For some reason, I was touched with the overwhelming feelings of pity Cameron's condition elicited in me, and I was there, wondering who would cater from him after we left. When mom saw me crying in the living room while watching him wriggle out of his wheelchair, struggling to catch mom who was frantically avoiding him, she stopped and let him hold her. I knew she did that for me. "Ruby, I am sorry please" he said amidst tears. That was not surprising to mom. She knew so well how many times he had pleaded like this only for him to do worse things than he used to. "Don't tell me that" mom said, calmly. She was looking out the window, and intermittently fidgeting with the watch on her wrist. She was not going to buy his words this time. No staying back. "It is my past. I thought you forgave me... I didn't..." That sentence was a little too much because mom flared up. "Look, Cameron, it is not my duty to forgive you. Go plead with my mother in her grave and tell her what gruesome thing you did to the husband she loved so much and waited desperately for, for good fifteen years. Go tell her you coldbloodedly ended his life!" Mom yelled. His grip on her ankles tightened and I just stood there, watching them- one of them was holding on to whatever was left between them, while the other was letting go, and not so nicely. "Let's live together as one and put the past behind us, please, Ruby" he pleaded, crying for real this time but it didn't move mom one bit. She had cried like that several times and he had never been moved. If only I remembered at the time, I wouldn't have felt any pity for him. "If you wanted that, you shouldn't have made that confession. What did you think it would bring? Stronger, purer love? You lie!" Mom jerked her legs free but he wouldn't let go. He was on his knees, while mom stood defiantly on her ground, literally. Jamie and Pamela were in the guest bedroom, playing. I ran to join them so they'd not injure each other with anything. I listened to my parents from the guest bedroom and wondered if their talk would lead to us staying back. Who would have the upper hand this time? "I have done so much wrong but I still love you, I still want you here, please" he begged. "Cameron, I've never loved you. Not once. I tried to, but it never worked. I'm here with you on a wrong basis. We never exactly dated. My marriage to you was never planned...you're not my type of guy...you..." She ranted on. I could see she struggled to catch her breath every now and then, and I wanted to tell her to grab a chair already, because it seemed she was going to lose it anytime soon. "Think of the kids, they're still too young. They need a full family. Ruby, please consider staying back and watch us grow into a better family, I beg you. We can only achieve this together" his eyes watered as he spoke. "I have thought of my kids for years, nine years to be precise, and that's why I've been patient for so long. If not for them, I would be out your door on her first birthday. You've always managed to snuff out whatever little happiness I had in me!" Mom retorted. "I am sorry. I'll try to be a better husband and father now. Give me a last chance, Ruby. I only need your help. I need you, please. Look at me, I feel really remorseful. I don't..." "I have done my part, Cameron. You didn't do your own part. And you've run out of chances for a change. You can now freely bring in one of your concubines and start a life with her. I am certain none of them would be as patient as I was. You might as well be on your way to treating food poisoning on their first night here. Don't tell me shit!" Mom yelled. I sincerely hoped no neighbor would hear her. Not like hell hadn't been let loose already. Not like it would change anything. "Look, Ruby, I want you, and only you. I have..." Mom cut him short, arching a brow. "Let's get this over with, you bloody murderer! No amount of sweet words you utter here will change this resolute mind of mine, okay? Please give way and let me go" she said, "or I'll call the neighbors" I came out that moment but not without locking the door of the guest bedroom. Mom had warned me earlier not to let my siblings see whatever was going on. I watched her jerk her ankles free finally, and walked swiftly away from him, with a travel box swaying along. Then she carefully lowered her weight on the chair, crossed her legs over each other, and said to him, with a pointed finger, the accusing one, "Listen to me very attentively, This time around, I swear, if you threaten me again, I'll make sure I kill you. And I promise you, I'll not go to prison for it. I have proofs of all the threats you've sent that always made me end up here again, and I'll let the police know about you, you devil of a man. You won't let me enjoy my life and you won't let me go. Were you assigned to snuff life out of me, huh? Just like you did your friend and my own...you know what, fuck this! I don't have much time left here. All I will say, is that if you try, I repeat, if you try to make my life a living hell once more, I'll kill you." Mom said very coldly and started to pull our stuff out of the room, one after the other. How did they get here? I stood there, watching him struggle to get back in his wheelchair and after he did, he bent his head over his thighs. I didn't know what was running through his mind because he stopped pleading just then. It was very unsettling watching my mom tell my paralyzed dad that she'd kill him if he did something. After mom successfully got our stuff in the boot of her car, she went into the guest bedroom and fetched my sisters who had stopped playing for a while. It seemed they heard what was going on, but were too young to understand just yet. She stooped low enough , kissed their foreheads and pulled their cheeks, before carrying them, as if to apologize for the commotion and the long-lasting effect their parents' separation would on the long run, inflict on them. After we were sure that everything was set, mom went back into the living room, leaving us in the car. I followed her because I thought she was going to do something serious, maybe burn down the house with Cameron in it. But she didn't do that at all. She instead faced Cameron, removed her nuptial ring from her middle finger, blew some air on it and dropped it on the table before him. Then she turned away from him, but he stopped her in her tracks, with his cold, unaffectionate voice- the one he used whenever his real monster was displayed. "I do not want to see you with that dog. You belong to me, Ruby. Understand that wherever you are, and I mean it" he looked rather angry than remorseful. That 'dog'. He meant Jack. He knew they had something going on afterall. Mom let out a wry laugh and a smirk, and then said to him, "I do not belong to you. I used to, but not anymore. You signed the divorce papers, oh I doubt you remember that. Let me remind you- We are divorced, Cameron. You no longer have access to any part of me. You're just too stupid to realize that." she said and walked out without the willingness to hear any more words from him, but not without giving him the middle finger. It was mom's first time doing that to my face. She was fuming, and it seemed she had run out of patience with him. Her staring at her watch meant she was running out of time as well. She was running out of something else too- breath. It seemed Cameron's words had sucked her breath, because she held her chest as she wobbled into her seat. 'Breath. Time. Patience, catch some, Ruby' she seemed to tell herself. Back in the car, mom heaved a sigh of frustration or faint relief, did some short breathing exercises and then turned off her GPS and zoomed slowly out of the compound. Immediately we hit the street, she accelerated aggressively. Having to watch her struggle every minute was painful in a way. She was sure not to rouse the attention of the neighbors. And that is how we left Kangaroo Estate, Scotland. Me, mom, Pamela and Jamie. For good. But, Was it really for good?