Chapter 25

It was her tears that kept her alive in the furnace of this pain. She could not extinguish what has been, yet only carried her forward until a time comes when that searing pain is distant enough to forget more than remember, and maybe one day erase itself from her brain. 'You should take it easy on yourself, Ya Hidayah. You've been crying since you woke up." Nafisa spoke, softly. She kept looking at the door to see if he'd show up. After he had announced about the pregnancy, he excused himself and left the hospital about an hour ago and he still wasn't back. 'That's it--- I've given up on him. I am done, Nafisa. I'm just tired--- because -- he'll never love me back. He has the one he loves." Her face was terribly wet, as though she was standing in a blowing gale. 'He told me they were going to spend only a month but he ended up abandoning me for almost two months. And he never called or messaged me--- and only for me to be seeing them on his status. Why not block me before posting his rubbish? He only sends me money and did I tell him I need his money? I just want his time, his attention and his love--- is that too much to ask?" Her chest was on fire, a splitting pain erupting through her chest but Hidayah ignored it. 'I don't care how hurt I'll be, I just want a divorce. Let me know I'm no longer with him than stay locked up in his house while he shows up whenever he felt like." She blabbered, absentmindedly. Nafisa turned her head away, biting her lips to avoid the laughter from coming out. So there was going to be a day when Hidayah would finally admits her feeling for Ahmad? Where was the hatred now? 'Oh... so you love him? We all thought that you despised him and can't stand to live with him." Nafisa spoke, facetiously. Hidayah had her eyes closed so tight to even see Nafisa's facial expression. She was on the verge of laughing. 'I--- I don't even know how I started loving him but I do--- I really love him so much. More than I expected---" every heartbeat sent a surge of pain, as though her chest was being torn apart. When the silence was taking a great deal of time, Hidayah opened her eyes to comprehend why Nafisa was silent. Her eyes gaped as she felt the muscles of her heart tighten with incredible force. Her breath caught as she started at the last person she had expected to see at the moment, sitting before her. For several moment, she sat there on the bed, unmoving. He stared at her adoringly, a smile flickers at the corner of his mouth. Allah sent her down from heaven above. Allah picked her out for him to love. Allah picked her out from all the rest because He knew Ahmad would love her best. She felt her face flush as he gently wiped her tears away. 'Say it again," he spoke, softly. When he spoke, his deep voice was magnetic to the core of who she is, as if he's able to resonate with all of her when others could barley achieve a fraction of it. She folded her arms and pursed her lips. 'I never said anything." She turned her head away from looking at him, the butterflies coming in full force. 'C'mon, hidayah, say it again." He reaches out to cup her cheeks to face him, his fingers warm against her skin. A great sob escaped her, and she covered her face with shaking hands. He shook his head and moved her hands away. She didn't do anything but just hung her head and let the tears flow. 'What do you want me to start with? The fact that I love you so deeply or the fact that it hurts staying married to you?" She could feel the searing pain in her heart as she uttered those words to him. His smile grew wider. 'No, I want to hear what you told Nafisa before I came in." He wanted to hear it again, despite the fact that he heard everything. 'I love you. I love you from a place inside me that I never knew existed. And I want us to last. I don't want to have lonely months and just months together, and then it's all over in a flash. I don't want to experience the feelings of hurt, confusion and disappointment again. No matter what we run into and no matter how hard things get, I want us to stick together. Because I love you--- so much. And--- it hurts not being with you." He placed his hands gently on the sides of her face and wiped her tears. His eyes met hers and he flashed her a smile. Just looking at her made his heart to warm up and soften. 'I love you more, darling. When I say I love you more, I don't mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us. I love you more than any fight we had or we would have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most." Her breathing had become light as her mouth gaped. 'No--- you don't love me--" He gaped his eyes and chuckled. 'Of course I do. I love you enough to fight for you, comprise for you, and sacrifice myself for you if need be. Enough to miss you incredibly when we're apart, no matter what length of time it is for and regardless of the long distance. Enough to believe in our relationship, to stand by it through the worst of times, to have faith in our strength as a couple, and to never give up on us. Enough to sped the rest of my life with you, be there for you when you need, or want me, and never ever want to leave you, or to live without you. I love you so much." Her mouth opened but words couldn't find their way out. She wanted to say more but couldn't. She narrowed her eyes and muttered, 'then prove it." His face lights up like a neon sign, and he chuckled at hidayah's statement. She still didn't believe him? 'Gladly." He takes her hands and gently presses them against his chest. She could feel the rise and fall of each breath he took. 'It still doesn't prove anything." She protested. He raised a brow and chuckled--- when he chuckled, he looks at her with such pure bliss that she couldn't help but stare at his lips. 'How about this?" He closed the gap between them and lands a gentle kiss on her lips, smiling. She smiled and kissed him back, soundly. He finally pulls back and leaned close to her, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he whispers in her ear. 'I have a surprise for you." She raises her brows as a smile finds its way to her lips. 'What is it?" She asked, trying to read his expression; it was full of love, joy, kindness and affection. He swallowed hard, knowing hidayah would upset about it. 'You can come in now." He called out, looking at the door. Seconds later, the door creaks ajar and Layla sauntered in. Hidayah's smile faded and a look of great bitterness swept across her face. She clenched her fist angrily and pushed him away from her body, making Layla to step back. She breathed out and settled down on the plastic chair. Layla didn't forget to keep a great distance between them. 'Uh--- I-" Layla stuttered, fiddling with her fingers. Layla was nervous by the way Hidayah was sending death looks at her. 'Hidayah, I know you must hate me for everything that has happened but... hands up." She surrendered. 'Everything was planned. And I've never been married to your husband." Time stood still like never before. Her pupils dilated, hands ached and her heart sunk to her feet. She twitched, only because her body reacted. But when her shock faded, everything returned slowly. 'What?" She mouthed, mouth gaped. Layla chuckled and nodded. Hidayah shifted her gaze to Ahmad and he raised his hands up to surrender. 'I know you weren't expecting that but at least it's something to celebrate about right? You have him all to yourself." Hidayah lowered her gaze as she smiled sheepishly at Layla's statement. 'You really are lucky, Hidayah. Because my friend here is madly in love with you, more than words could explain. I wish you guys all the best and May Allah bless your union. And please take care of my friend because if not... I'll marry him for real." Hidayah's head snapped up at the last statement. Layla couldn't help but laugh. 'I'm kidding... maybe not," she said and smirked. Hidayah smirked; there was no way Layla could get a chance with Ahmad. Not when he was madly in love with her, her alone. They talked for a while before Layla bade them goodbye. Ahmad shifted his attention to hidayah as she hit him hard on the chest. 'How could you play such dirty game with me? Did you know what I've gone through over the months? Did you know how hurt and depressed I was? Because of you, I spent sleepless nights, crying and grieving over what I thought you have done." Peals of laughter burst out from deep within. He tried to suppress his laughter but couldn't. Her cheeks flushed red as she hit him again. 'Stop... please," she whined, pouting her lips. 'Okay, I'm sorry." He said, softly after the laughter had dialed down. He cups her face in his hands and her eyes connects with his, which grow closer as he moves to kiss her. The hair on the back of her neck raises when his lips finds hers. She smiled into the kiss. At the last moment, she pulled back. She felt her face flush as he stared at her adoringly. It was a piece of him he gave her. 'If not because of this, I wouldn't have known how caring, how loving, how amazing and how soft you could be. And... this has changed you to the woman I wanted you to be at the first place. So... it's a win-win." 'But... it felt so real... the pictures... the invitation card... my family... everything... even saw a picture of you guys in London." Hidayah found it hard to believe that it was all planned. He gently caressed her cheeks. 'It is all staged, my love. Ummah and the girls helped me. And that picture was taken two years ago. If you looked closely at the picture, I was skinnier back then before I married you and turned into... this..." She chuckled and shook her head. How could she even not love this man? He's so sweet and funny at the same time. 'I'm so sorry for the way I treated you before. By Allah I love you now, wholeheartedly. And I can't afford to lose you to any other woman. I don't want to sound selfish please but don't ever leave me for another woman." She stared deeply into his eyes, trying to read what was on his mind. He placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed. 'I'm here to stay, baby. i'm not going anywhere because I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you. If you need anything--- I will love you through thick and thin. There's nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until my last breath. And I know we'll be okay in the end. I hope you believe that, too. Because no matter how hard things become at times, it's only a part of any relationship. And I believe it will make us stronger, bring us closer together and solidify our love for one another. We'll be okay, because our love is strong. And always remember that I really do love you." A gigantic grin spread across Hidayah's face, and her eyes lit up like the sky on the 4th of July. 'I have another surprise for you." He mouthed, and brought out the sonogram from his pocket. He opened it and showed her the ultrasound of her tummy. Hidayah looked at it, puzzled. She knew what it means. But what she couldn't wrap her fingers around whose baby was it? 'What? Do you have a child out of wedlock? Are you expecting a baby from another woman?" She teased, pinching his nose. He smirked and nodded his head, 'yes... from my one and only wife, Hidayah. The mother of my kids." Her entire body jerked to a stand still unexpectedly. Her breathing caught as she thought about it. She knew she didn't do anything. Then how did she get pregnant? 'You're approximately one month, three weeks." He said, looking, thoroughly at the paper as though it was written in gibberish. 'But... how... I know... but I haven't seen you since when you got married." She spoke, dumbfounded. 'Hmm... you can't tell me you've forgotten that night of passion. The night before my fake marriage." He raised a brow as though that'd make her remember the night they spent a day before his sham wedding with Layla. 'Night of passion..." She mouthed under her breath. She stared into the blank space, trying to recall the day she'd got intimate with her. Suddenly, it hit her and her eyes bulged out. It wasn't a dream? Hidayah closed her face with her hands out of awkwardness. 'Please don't tell me that wasn't a dream..." Hidayah remembered that night how naughty she was. How she had shown her passion. He chuckled softly and embraced her in his arms. 'C'mon... there is nothing to be shy of. And we're finally going to be parents because of that." 'And I couldn't be happier." They embraced each other, a long and affectionate embrace. Epilogue One year later... It was a late afternoon celebration, where the sun beamed above the trees. Inside, relatives and well wishers filled the house as they took pictures and celebrated with the man of the hour, Ahmad. 'Congratulations! My best wishes to you for a bright future. You really deserved that promotion." One of his uncles from his father's side stated. 'I know it is tough to have to celebrate such wonderful victory without your parents here. May they continue to rest in Jannat Firdaus." Ahmad nodded his head. A lump tied up in his throat but he ignored it. Whenever he has to celebrate a victory, it was always tough to go through the day, wishing his parents could just come back to see how successful their son is. If he could ever ask Allah for something or just one wish in life, he would've wished for his parents to be with him, celebrate with him. He had seen a lot of love and hatred in life, all because of his late parents. He has seen the blessings before his eyes and all the lessons that made him wiser. But sometimes, he misses them so much. Sometimes its just hard to keep up with their absence. Nevertheless, he was happy for what he has become and the wonderful wife and daughter he has now. He felt a hand lace with his and he knew no doubt who it was. He looked at her--- her touch helped him forget the pain. 'Are you okay?" She had noticed how off he has been throughout the little get together. He smiled and nodded. 'You know I'm always here for you right?" She reminded him, as she lightly squeezed his hand. He planted a soft kiss on her cheek and looked at her. 'I know--- which is why I always think about having a second baby so that you won't have any choice but to stay with me whenever you have the thought of running." He spoke, teasingly. It wasn't only his words that made her heart rate rise, his deep voice also. It was the kind of deep voice that is so very easy to fall in love with, that auditory caramel. Hidayah looked at anywhere but his face. It has been more than a year but she still finds it hard to look at him in the eye sometimes. 'Baby Janaan is only four months and two weeks but you're already talking about baby number 2? No way! And who said I was ever going to leave you? You're stuck with me." She gave him a pat on the chest and walked away in a hurry before he does something unabashed. The get together went on until it was late in the evening. Hidayah helped ummah and her siblings to clean up the mess before she left with her husband and daughter. They arrived home after a short drive. Ahmad helped with the baby while hidayah head towards the entrance to unlock the door. She spot someone on a wheel chair by the entrance. She stopped in her tracks, looking at the person. She looked back, Ahmad was approaching her as he looked at the intruder also. Hidayah turned her head back to the intruder. 'Uh--- excuse me do we know you---" suddenly, her eyes gaped at the realization of who it was when he wheeled forward. 'I'm very sorry sir. I've specifically tried to tell him that he can't come in but seeing his condition---" 'It's okay Garba, you can go." Ahmad instructed without glancing at the security man. 'Adam? Is that really you?" Her breath caught as she stared at him. She could swear her jaw almost dropped to the floor. He managed to give her a smile and nodded. She stared at him again; feeling her heart sink--- but not because of the flashbacks of her past--- but because of how badly Adam had turned out. Serves him right. 'I'll wait for you inside, and don't stay long, okay?" Ahmad whispered and she nodded. She handed the house key to him before he left her with Adam. 'I see you're still with him, and you even have a baby together. I'm really happy for you." He spoke after so much silence. His voice was filled with regret and pain. 'What brought you to my house? Look if you're here to cause any commotion, you better get out because nothing is going to work. And I know the only reason why my husband didn't dislocate your entire face is because you've already had enough." She pointed at his broken leg as irritation surged up inside her. Just looking at him made her heart to burn with anger and hatred. 'I know I am the last person you ever want to see and I know I've caused a lot of damage--" 'Oh, you think?" She cuts him off. 'Look, I beg you, get out of my house right now before my husband comes out. I am living peacefully and happily with my husband. And you're the last person I would want to have back into my life." She was angry, he could tell by the way her voice was loud. 'I will leave but please, just listen to what I have to say first." He pleaded. 'Two minutes." She spoke through gritting teeth. His eyes lit up with hope. He exhaled and proceeded. 'Sometimes things take a drastic turn, and we really can't do much about it. Same thing has happened that night. Things were not right, so I told you some things which caused so much hurt to you. I won't tell you that it was not my mistake. I admit it was my fault that I have said so many hurtful things and done so much bad things not only to you, but to many people. I know it's not easy to come out of such a mind frame. When you're hurt, you really can't trust people, right? I know you don't trust me now. But, believe me, I am here because I truly feel that what I did was totally unacceptable. And, I am asking for forgiveness from you and your husband also. I want that you forgive me because I am feeling the same pain as you are, Hidayah. As you can see, my life had turned out badly--- I'm handicapped and I've lost so much in my life. Please--- forgive me so my heart would be at ease." She felt a sudden sickening sensation throughout her body. She exhaled, releasing some of the tension that had built up in her chest. Ahmad stared at her to hear what she had to say. He was there when Adam had asked for her forgiveness and there was a sound of remorse in his voice. Her head shifted in Ahmad's direction, and he smiled at her and nodded. She looked at Adam, she felt her temperature rising. She swallowed hard and cleared her throat. She was only doing this for her husband and so Adam could get out of her hair and never show up again. 'I forgive you... not because you deserve it, but because my husband asked me to. He's a kind hearted man and he has made my life to be better, unlike you. But... I can see you've learned your lesson. Now get out of my house!" She gave him one last filthy look before walking away without a back glance. 'Are you okay?" Ahmad asked, worriedly. She was all shades of red due to the anger Adam triggered. She managed to smile and nodded. They head into the house to their room. 'I've already given her a bottle." Ahmad said as hidayah picked up Janaan. He settled down on the edge of the bed while she rocked Janaan back and forth. He observed her, as she rocked her to sleep. He waited, almost impatiently for her to round up with everything she was doing. He had a lot to get out of his chest and it looked like she was avoiding ‘the talk'. He shuffled on his feet, waiting for her to put the baby in her bed. When she finally did, he go to his feet and approached her. He placed his hands gently on the sides of her face. 'You look disturbed." He said, staring into her eyes intensely. She managed to smile and shook her head. 'I'm fine... I just wasn't expecting to see him, that's all." She shrugged his hands off but he shook his hand and grabbed her shoulders. 'And?" He asked. He knew there was more. 'And I don't want to ever see him again because I hate him. I hate him for every trouble he had caused in my life." Her chest was heaving up and down. She looked beautiful in his eyes, nevertheless. 'You should be thanking him." He whispered as he stroked his hand down her back. She gaped her eyes in disbelief. 'For what exactly? Ruining my life and almost wrecking my marriage?" Ahmad chuckled just as he shook his head. 'No Umm Janaan, he didn't ruin your life and he didn't almost wreck your marriage because I never had the intention of divorcing you--- you can call me selfish for that." Just by the way he looks at her, he knew she was difficult. But by the way he loves her, he was never going to give up. 'I married you for three things. One; I was afraid he'd ruin your life. Two; because I didn't want you to be wayward and end up leaving home or end up in a bad marriage. And Three; because I was so much in love with you, despite the fact that you were really stubborn and foolhardy. So, what I am trying to say is, in some part, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have married you." Hidayah rolled her eyes and smiled. 'Well I don't believe that. because no matter how impossible, unattainable, or unimaginable something may seem... if it's meant to be, it will be. So Adam has nothing to do with this." She claimed and he laughed... and then his face turns serious as he gazes down at her. 'I love looking into your eyes. They reflect my happiness." A smile appeared on her lips as her eyes sparkled with delight. She wrapped her arms around his neck as their lips came together in a passionate kiss. She felt like she was on fire as his hands trail down her back. She knotted her fingers in his hair, and melted against his body. She would've fallen, had he not been there to hold her. It was magic, the way his lips connected with hers. Her heart felt like it was flying and the world seemed to stop. From nowhere came the sound of Sencha tone. She pulled back and looked around for her phone. 'It's Layla." She said, her cheeks heating up by reason of their fiery moment. 'It's FaceTime," she said before picking up the call and Layla appeared. She was outside in the snow, fully covered with a thick sweater to prevent the cold from piercing through it. 'Hey Layla, how are you?" Layla smiled when Hidayah appeared. 'I'm fine, alhamdulillah. But cold... anyways, how's baby Janaan? Where's she? I've missed her so much." Layla cooed. She had finally gone back to London where she lived with her family. She only came to Nigeria to stay with her grandparents for a while. Now she had been back to London months back before Janaan was born. 'You're not even going to ask about me? How cruel of these two girls to snatch my friend away." He spoke, feigning hurt. Hidayah stuck her tongue out at him and moved to Janaan's bed. 'She's asleep now. I promise to call you tomorrow morning when she's awake." Hidayah promised. She and Layla had been good friends after all the commotion have come to an end. Layla was now more close to hidayah than she was with Ahmad. He adored their friendship. They were always on phone, giving updates, sharing secrets... 'You better do, because if you don't, I will." She snivelled, jokingly. 'Now, the reason why I called is..." Layla sauntered into their house with a sigh when the heat coming from the fire hits her skin. She ungloved her hand and showed hidayah the sparkling diamond ring. 'Imam proposed," she squealed. Hidayah's mouth gaped but soon turned to a huge grin. 'Are you serious? It's sparkling... babe come, look at this. Imam proposed..." She spoke gleefully, just as she shoved the phone in front of him to show him Layla's engagement ring. 'I know, right? But my grandparent insisted we have the wedding at my home town, Maiduguri. So--- I'm finally coming back to Nigeria in two months to see Janaan before I head to Maiduguri. How exciting is that?" She stated, gleefully. They both squealed ecstatically and went further to talk about the wedding. An hour later, Ahmad joined her in bed and snatched the phone. 'That's enough, Layla. I'll have you know that this is my time. You guys can talk about whatever it is you want tomorrow--- but right now, I need my wife's attention." Ahmad said, unabashed. 'You're just jealous cause we're not involving you in the wedding preparation." Layla stuck her tongue out at him. Hidayah couldn't help but laugh at their banter. 'I need to go now anyways. Hidayah, do not forget to FaceTime me tomorrow morning, Okay?" Hidayah nodded, smiling before they bid each other good night. 'Finally." Ahmad said as he sighed. 'You guys have been on phone for like--- forever." He whispered, shoving his face on her neck and sniffing her sweet scent of lavender mixed with Oud perfume. His kisses dot up her neck, until he reaches her lips. He enraptures her in a heavy kiss until finally pulling back. 'I really like who I am when I'm with you. Even when things get really tough, I'm a better version of myself." He said, softly. Hidayah took a moment, staring into Ahmad's eyes. He looks back at her with hungry eyes. His gaze lingered down her chest before their lips touched, building her excitement, making her heart rate go faster than she ever imagined. She leaned in - to enjoy the moment, her body filled with endless passion. He wrapped his hand around her head and stroked her loose hair. Finally, he gave her lips a squeeze, as he came closer and closer. At the last moment, Hidayah pulled back, breathless. He brushes a lock of hair out of her face. His smile still visible in the dim light. 'You make me feel beautiful, loved, protected and taken cared of. You made me a better person, and I don't ever want to live my life without you by my side. Thank you for reminding me what butterflies feels like, and thank you for being mine. I love you, most." His heart felt like its flying and the world seemed to stop. He brought his hand down to cup her cheek, his thumb running along the curve of her cheekbone. She nestled into his hand, feeling his warmth seep into hers. 'Babe, I promise to always be there for you. We are a team, you, me and baby Janaan. I am on your side, to support you and to build you up when you're feeling down. I am here to encourage you and to cheer you, to be your best friend and your husband. I love you, so much." His delicate words delved into her heart just as a smile appeared on her face. She felt so safe with him. His eyes gazed upon her lips. He leaned in, and possessed her inner soul. It was gentle and subtle like a cotton. His soft caress melted her heart. THE END...