CHAPTER22

3 years ago, Well, this is it. My first day back after Leon left. I feel super empty, no Leon to tease me as we walk into school, no kissy sounds from Brooke and Leon that always finds its way to irritate me. A lot of eyes are going to be on me for sure. It's going to be sickening but I'll have to suck it up and act like nothing is going on. With the feeling of void, I walked into the doors of St. Louis high school and exactly as I expected, I was greeted by the curious but pitiful stares of the students and I immediately had the urge to run into the bathroom to hide throughout the day because I'm not one for attention. "Hey" Carter all but whispered "Hi" I replied in the same tone, falling in step with him Ñ1( "Things are going to be this way for a while you know? These are just kids being kids" he joked sympathetically "Well I hate these kids" I retorted with a pang in my chest "It'll all be fine I promise" "I hope so" Turning around, he asked, "So as your deary has spoken to you since after you know?" Thinking of it, I respond "indeed that's very true, we haven't really spoken since Friday. Why?" "Oh nothing except he's on his way so I got to go meet up with Brooke and Amelia" "That's fine. I'll catch up later" I dismissed as I felt someone hands presumably Nates snake around my waist "Hey beautiful" He moves to peck me but I turned away. I'm seriously not in the right mind for any affection "Whoa, what's wrong?" Sensing my discomfort "Nothing actually I'm just not in my right sense" I sigh "Oh okay, that's fine. So, I wanted to know if you were up for a party tonight" he smiled "A party? First of all, it's a damn school night and you know I'll never go to one of those lame parties" I scoffed "Wow, no need to get all defensive." He rose his hands "No I'm sorry I guess I'm a bit cranky, I apologize "But I want you to go, you never go to parties with me" he pouted "I hate parties and you know that" I said getting tired of the conversation "Fine do whatever you want to do" he snapped storming off "Nate" I called out but he ignored. I really don't want to deal with this .......... It was lunchtime, we all got seated on our favorite table "It feels good to be back" Brooke sighs "But it's not the same" I whispered "Don't worry he's going to be back" Melia announced trying to cheer us up "It'll be okay" Carter agreed with her "Well, I guess so" I gave in, looking around the cafeteria for Nate to apologize. I do a lot of apologizing to him because I'm always the one at fault or so he says but still I don't care. Walking up to his table, I ask Josh, his best friend for him. Nate isn't a jock or anything, in fact, he doesn't play any type of sport. He's just popular for some reason. Finally, I spot him walking in with Gemina, another popular girl. So quickly I rush to his side "Hey, Nate I'm so so-" "Save it" his voice boomed "Wha- what do you mean?" My voice trembled "I'm tired okay. I'm tired of this so-called relationship, you never want to go for parties with me, you always want to go on stupid dates, you want me to join you to live a boring life and most of all, you want me to keep up with you being a baby over your brother. Face it, he's gone, he's gone. Deal with it." He snapped, causing all attention to be on us "You know what, Fuck You, I've been the fool, always apologizing, acting like an idiot all because of you and now you're here talking to me about my brother, your fucking friend. To he'll with you Nate. Read my lips. You.are.a.pig." I shouted in rage as Carter immediately came to my side "Bull Lorraine, all this is bullshit I've moved on as you can see" he says pointing to Gemina "You need to figure out your shit because let me tell you something, he's gone he's never going to come back hell, he might even be dead. So stop walking around like a son story and fac-" he ranted but was interrupted by Carter's fist on his nose "What the hell" Carter shouted and I just stood there with wide eyes and tears pouring out. All I felt was anger, rage, and sadness. Anger towards, myself, Leon and Nate. I didn't know how to channel my anger so I just cried. I ran out of the cafeteria with my friends tailing after me but I still ran as fast as I could. I ran so fast, I guess my friends couldn't keep up because they stopped following at some point. I ran until I was out of breath. I ran home. Since no one was ever home, I ran to my bathroom and locked it. I felt so choked up, I felt mad, mad with range, I felt angry and sad. All these feelings were so new to me. Thoughts of what Nate said about Leon came running through my mind as I clutched the sink, causing my knuckles to turn white. "No Leon's not dead, he can't be dead no" I screamed to my reflection in the mirror as I ran my hands through my hair in frustration I began feeling so much headache, I couldn't stand upright, my visions were blurred. I used my hands to locate the Advil by the drawers, I popped two and drank some water, hoping for the pain to go. After a short while, it refused to leave, I kept on taking some more, like a whole lot more than I was supposed to. Then I began feeling so weak, I sat on the floor, my body hot, eyes watering, vision turning into darkness. I was very close to losing consciousness when I heard Carter banging the door to my bathroom but it was all too late as I lost consciousness.