Chapter 13 : Trying To Forget

| Trying To Forget | THE ALLURING trees greeted me as I walk along the park. Nena is absent, Trix gone home, while Evette has a photoshoot, and Reina—well she's in the CASTE-IT building. As much as I want to visit her, I'm too lazy to walk. I rather stay in the park. One more turn and I'll be there but a sudden grip pulled me and we enter an empty room. "What the—" I didn't finish my sentence when his free hand covered my mouth. Wide eyes, I'm seeing my shadow through the lenses of her deep menacing blue eyes. "You shut up," he whispered, soft but full of authority. I wiggled and tries to get off of his hand but damn, he's strong. What can I expect from a fighter? I hate this closeness. His blue eyes, mint breath, thin pressed lips, and his perfect jawline. Damn! Can't he hear the swift beats of my heart? "Scared?" he asked, still hand covering my mouth and his other hand leans on the wall. He's towering over me. Things are being been asked on the surface and fear goes unnoticed. But you can overcome fear when you know how to accept it. If you know how to introduce yourself to it. I already expected this from him but not in this way—that he'll just show up and drag me inside an empty room. He put down his hand and rest it on the wall at my side. Both hands on my sides, caging me. I gathered my confidence then talk. "Why should I be scared? Scared of what?" I asked in a mocked tone. "Brave, huh? Do you want me to tell everybody that you just hit the famous Linus in his groin that I almost died because of the pain?" "Pft—you almost died? As if I hit it that hard. You're a famous fighter right?" I asked, crossed arms, furrowed brows, and my mocking voice. "And you're here, threatening me?" I laugh sarcastically, not minding if someone hears me. Just like what he just said, this is College. "Huh, try me," I said and pushed him away so that I can get out. I may have these unexplainable feelings towards him but his suck attitude is getting on my nerves. "You will apologize to me or I'm gonna make your life miserable until your last day of your College journ—" "I never did something to you—Oh well, except what I did last night. So, Go on, try me. If that makes you happy then be it," I said and went out of that empty room. Living him behind. I don't know where did I get all the confidence but I know I will regret what I've just said. My what-ifs started to linger on me. What if he tries to ruin my reputation— "Life is full of surprises—" "Ah!!" I exclaimed, and clutch my blouse, "you startled me," I said and lightly tapped my chest. The side of his lips twitched and said, "Expect for more. How about let's start with that reaction paper? Hmm…" "Don't you dare!" He chuckled and shook his head. "Well, try me," he said, mimicking how I deliver it earlier. Frustratingly, I asked, "What exactly do you want from me?" He didn't answer and just turned his back away from me wearing his devilish smirk. I pinched the bridge of my nose and heaved a deep sigh. I don't know what's happening to me. But I don't want to regret something in the end. I look around and didn't see any student on this part so I decided to reach him out. "Linus!" I called. He stopped a meter away from me but didn't bother to look back. I run and stopped at his side. I took a deep breath before speaking. "Okay. I'm sorry. I… I—" "What happened to that confident Rebecca Fuentes earlier?" he asked. "I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry. Now, does it satisfy you already?" "I don't accept a fake apology. Your reflexes a while ago tell what you truly feel and admit it or not, you're just afraid of what I'm capable of that you concluded to give an apology." In a second, I close my eyes, forgetting how fast my heart beats right now that I'm near him, trying to calm myself. And think of a diversion to hide these bizarre feelings on him. "Huh? You're so full of yourself. Fine, don't pass that reaction paper, I don't care. I can make my own!" I said and shifted my back towards the opposite direction but I stop when I heard him talk. "Best of luck." I clenched fists and never look back. Damn him! Damn this heart! No! I won't. I won't let it happen. I'm not going to fall for that jerk. I TRIED to allow myself to feel upset. While I am tempted to push my feelings down and pretend it doesn't exist, but I know, this is just temporary. Feelings don't just go away. I tried to enrich myself with new activities the following days. I keep myself busy toward redirecting my focus and not thinking about how I truly feel for him. As much as possible, I didn't give myself time to think about it. I started to read and learn the Sonnets of Shakespeare, and I really did pass my own reaction paper. And it seems like luck is into me because Linus was still absent the next following days. Friday night we went to a theater to watch a movie. I started to make my projects before our preliminary test. I concentrated on my studies and my work. I did too many ways just to destruct myself by keeping it busy. I don't want a single piece of thought about my feelings for him. Besides, it seems like an infatuation. I'm just attracted to him, because of the fact that I like mysterious guys like him. Well, opposite attracts. And I'm not numb not to feel it. Reina was right, but I'm just denying it. This must stop anyway. I know feelings won't go away in an instant. There will still be bad days when you feel low, and there will still be days when you feel more hopeful. Hopeful that you can overcome your feelings. As cliché as it sounds, time heals. I know this is just an infatuation, I know I'm just overacting but this is my first time, and I'm struggling to overcome it. They say, talk to someone when you can't let go. But how on earth I will share this with someone if I didn't go in a relationship, that this is not some sort of breakup that I wanted to move on. This is just a new feeling, a strange one that needs to fade. "Becca, do you want to come tomorrow?" I put down the book I'm reading and looked at Nena. "Where are you going?" I asked. "At the club, outside C.U," she replied. My brows furrowed. "Are we allowed to go outside the campus?" I never read about it. "Of course. We still have a life out of the school league, you know. We need to unwind too. Besides next week will already be the exam week," she replied. I lazily flip another page of the book that I'm reading. "I don't know if I can come. You know we have lots of customers during that day. Why go to a club if the café where I worked serves alcoholic drinks?" I said. "Oh, come on. We need to sway our hips around," she said. I shrugged. "I don't know. I'll check my schedule first. And I've never been into clubs. Reina does, but me, nah," I replied. She laughed. "Are you being serious?" she asked. I just nodded and continue reading. After our class in the morning, we decided to go here. Trix and Evette don't usually hang with us. They have busy schedules. "Becca," she called. "Hmm…" still my eyes are on the book. "Do you believe in magic?" she suddenly asked. I closed the book and put it down. "Why the sudden question?" She just shrugged. "Yes, when I was a kid, I used to believe in magic. Like fairies, witches, and such. But as I grow up, I still believe in magic. The magic of love and kindness. When you love, you feel bizarre things and do things you think you can't. The love we give to the person who loathes us. The love we give to our enemy. The love we give when we forgive people… it's magical isn't it? Like how can we still love our enemy when they did nothing but make things that are undesirable? When they try to ruin us? It's because we love. God gave us that magic. As pure as his love to us, we tend to use it too, to others." "Whoa. That was—yeah, you're right. But I'm just going to share this with you. I believe all the things you said. But I'm pertaining about the magic chambers of the palace of Denmark that can bring you to fairyland." This time, I was the one who initiate a laugh. "It was just a myth, Nena." "No. it's true. Uncle Flavio told me." "Did that magical chamber take your Uncle to a fairyland? Did he already see what they called, fairyland?" "Uhm…" "No, right? So how did this chamber exist when it was just a myth, a story to satisfy kids and make them believe that magic exists. We've been there, but this is the real world. And magic like turning you into a frog, and one kiss from a prince, you shift back, doesn't exist." She heaved a deep sigh. "Yeah, you're right." "Of course, I am—" "But Uncle Flavio stories are pretty convincing—" "Let's say that this magic chamber does exist, still, we can't personally see it and we always have the saying, ‘to see is to believe' particularly to that kind of topic," I said. "But the prince—" "Oh, how I hate that word. Don't tell me you want to meet the prince too?" "Yeah, but the rumor that he is here is a fake one that spread like a wildfire because of those sick fans of him." I laughed. "Yeah, right."