CHAPTER 33

KRISTINE'S POINT OF VIEW "How can you do this to Miss Amelia? After all that she had done for us? She gave us shelter,  money,  and everything that we didn't have. She was always the one that was on there when we needed someone to lean on. She treated us like her own family,  she showered us with love. How could you do this to her!?" I angrily shouted at him. He looked away and lowered his head... I loved him,  he was my world and everything. But I am not aware that I am capable to be in love with this kind of person. He was so heartless! I can't even know him. He was a different person from the day that I met him. The kindhearted and gentle person I once loved was finally gone. The Lawrence that was standing in front of me was completely different. My knees were shaking,  as I looked directly into his eyes. Our eyes meet by hr immediately looked away. I felt warm tears streaming down my cheeks. I let one teardrop goes down one by one. As it goes down through my cheeks down to my skin. Hot liquor was now falling from my precious eyes. "H-how?" I asked him in a weak voice. He just keep quiet and keep avoiding to looked into my eyes. The whole place was been silenced and only my sobs could be heard in the four corners of the room. "I-Im sorry, " he stated in a remorse tone. What? Did he just say sorry? What he was sorry for? Is he now getting guilty for what he had done? There were a lot of questions keep pooping on my head. But one question bothered me the most: How could he do that to the person who just keeps helping us all this time? I wanted to slap,  punch, and kicked him,  everything that I could do to hurt him. So that he could be aware of what he had done. Miss Amelia did nothing wrong to us,  she just helped us every since. She treated us like her own family. She was like a sister to me. But why did Lawrence have to do this to Miss Amelia? "Why? Why Lawrence?" I asked him while my tears continued streaming down to my skin. He looked at me directly in my eyes. His eyes were full of sadness. But I can not see some guilt in his eyes. I am asking myself now if I had done something wrong... "I-I am sorry,  Kristine, " he said as he pleaded with me. He got down on his knees and started apologizing to me. "Have you felt guilt by doing that to Miss Amelia?" I asked him. He was quiet for a minute but then he stood up. "No, " he coldly said. Wha-t? I was a stunt by what she said next. He was trying to beg for my forgiveness when I asked him. If he was guilty of doing that to miss Amelia. He just suddenly became cold. What was happening to him? How could he do this to Miss Amelia? Did miss Amelia had done something wrong to Lawrence,  that triggers him to do something like this to her? There were a lot of questions appearing inside of my head. But still,  no matter how much I think,  I could not think of a possible answer. How I wish I knew everything! I wanted to understand my husband. Because he is my world,  my everything,  and the person I loved the most. But how? "Answered me! Lawrence. What is happening? Could you please tell me everything on what was going on?" I asked him in a confused tone. I didn't know what was happening... I was so confused right now... "Stop! Kristine. Please,  stop!" He stated. I wiped down my tears as they continued to flow from my eyes down to my skin. My knees were shaking and started to get weak. Right now! I realized just now that I just didn't know the Lawrence I used to love. He was like a different person,  from the person I used to love. Because I knew he was not capable to do such kinds of things. Back then he was such a gentle and kind person. I loved him for being that way... But it seems that kind of person inside him was now gone... He is now completely being a complete total stranger to me. It seems like he was been this way for a long time. And I didn't even notice it sooner. Because I was too in love with him. That I didn't see his flaws in his attitude. "Why Lawrence!? Why do you have to do that? Is there something wrong that miss Amelia had done to you? What is wrong? You could tell me!" I stated. But then he just sat down on the couch beside him and tried to avoid looking at me. Maybe he doesn't want to look into my eyes. Because I was crying,  and he doesn't want to be fallen through my tears. "You can not be mad at me because of the person that wasn't been even related to us, " he replied. That sentence stroke me and it was like hitting me with a flash of lightning... It shattered my heart to realize he was right... He was telling the truth Miss Amelia was not related to us by blood. And she was the reason why I was fighting with my husband right now. She was maybe a complete stranger to us, Miss Amelia was maybe not related to us. But she was been always be the first person that helps us all along. But could I trade my relationship just because of what I found out? Do I want to ruin my relationship with my husband just for a complete stranger? I was a bit confused right now... So I took a deep breath and sighed. I wiped down my tears and tried to calm down myself. He was right we should not ruin our marriage just for that. Because I and Lawrence only had each other now. We had no one to lean on but by each other's shoulders. "I am sorry!" I apologize to him. I sat down next to him while trying to make myself calm down. I just wanted to make sure that I am calming down. I wanted to talk to him in a nice way to know what was happening. And also asked him what he was been doing these past few days. I took a deep breath and sighed. "Can you stop what you are doing right now?" I told him as calmly as possible. I waited for his answer for seconds... I felt it was the longest hours of my life. Since his silence almost makes me deaf. I can't wait for his words to come out of his mouth. "I don't want you to be involved in this, " he told me in a sincere voice. I looked directly into his eyes. While looking into his eyes,  I felt some comfort. I can feel the warmth and love in his eyes. But then he looked away from me... "But---, " he cut me off. "Just let me do this for the both of us. I promise you that I am doing this for our future. And especially for the future of our kids. I wanted to secure our future, " he tried to convince me. Wai-t! What? To secure our future? For our kids? What is he trying to say, that he would feed us by the money that comes from the illegal doings he had been doing? Is he saying some sort of joke? Because if he had been joking,  it is not a funny joke. I looked at him with disgrace in my eyes... I was trying to make myself calm down. Because I don't wanna ruin our marriage. But this was unacceptable,  and I can not accept this kind of excuse. I don't want to eat something that was come from illegal doings,  and deeds... I looked at Lawrence who was now becoming calm as he was looking at me. I wanted to slap him and tell him that it was not the right thing to do. But I dont wanna hurt him. All I want him to do now is to stop what he was doing. All the bad things he was doing. "Please! Stop this. Stop what are you doing right now, " I begged him and gets on my knees. Warm tears started to stream down my eyes. It started to fall one by one from my eyes down to my skin. "Kristine,  I was doing this for us, " he stated. We looked straight into each eye of each other. But I can't see the guilt in his eyes. "Can't you stop what you are doing right now just for me?" I asked him in my weak voice,  as the tears continued flowing down to my skin. He became quiet for a while and spoke up... "No! Kristine. I'm sorry!" He blurted out and stand up. Then left me behind.