39

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE: WHAT HAPPENED? ETHAN'S POV I open my eyes gradually as my ears start to buzz. The first thing I saw was a beautiful woman. Her expression is hidden by the way her golden hair cascades down either side of her face. Was it really the angel who visited me in my final moments and saw me for the last time? With her face serious and her brows furrowed as if she were attending to the most important subject in her life, she was washing my chest. All I want to do is stare at her intently so that I will always remember this panorama and her for the rest of my life, but I'm terrified of disturbing her. I didn't think of my purpose or the people whose hearts I couldn't rip out with my bare hands at that time, when I thought everything would be finished. The only thing that could have possibly crossed my thoughts was this stunning spitfire of a lady finally opening up to me after hating me for years, or maybe I just convinced myself that she was. I saw her living by herself, becoming reclusive, and keeping the outside world out of her inner group. I didn't like that at all. I object to that. Without me, she wouldn't have anyone to grab onto and would be all alone herself in the world. I knew deep down that I had already vowed to defend her. I previously vowed that she would be the one person for whom I would make an exception. I would be the only one who would be mine. I have to exert tremendous strength just to move my arm. Her hair is in my palm, and I take it between my fingers as I stroke her golden hair. Rose snaps her head up and looks at me with those blue eyes that occasionally visited me in my sleep and made me wake up in cold sweating eyes that I never once forgot about. My entire goal in life is to demolish all she represents, so why do those eyes seem to have such a hold over me? But it doesn't matter how much I hate what she stands for. I've never hated her. She's the only one I've ever allowed this close. Her lips part, and she soon stares at me with that sad expression. Then, slowly, too slowly, her mouth opens, and she smiles at me as if she's seeing me for the first time. I guess this is the reaction I wanted when I came back, but she wanted me punished. She wanted me killed. Now she's smiling because I woke up. This woman is a paradox. 'You're awake." I nod, and the simple motion holds me hostage. Pain explodes in my chest and spreads all over my body. 'How are you feeling? Should I get a doctor?" 'No," I say in a voice so hoarse I doubt she heard the word. 'I'll survive." 'Don't you ever, and I mean ever, do that again!" Her voice has mixed emotions: relief, desperation, but most of all, she appeared to be on the verge of a meltdown. 'Do what?" 'Why the hell did you run in front of Uncle Raven that way?" 'Because you were going to do it. You were running to use yourself as a fucking body shield. Did you expect me to let you sacrifice yourself?" 'That's my duty as part of the brotherhood." 'It is not your duty to get yourself killed." 'And it's not your duty, either. Since when do you give a f*ck about Uncle Raven?" 'I don't. The only one I ever gave a f*ck about is you." Her lips part, and I expect her to say something, to shoot back a retort, as usual, but she continues wiping my chest. Her expression is solemn, and I can see the tears in her eyes. "I thought you left again." Her hand continues wiping my hands and even my biceps. While her touch is gentle, the expression on her face is anything but. "I thought I lost you, and you would never come back." 'Did you really think it would be so easy for me to leave? After all, I still haven't put a baby in you. Not officially, at least." 'Shut up, a**hole." 'I see your tongue hasn't changed, so you can't be that worried. I'm wounded." 'Stop joking around!" Her chin trembles. 'You have no idea what I've been through. You had a fever last night, and I couldn't sleep a wink in case I needed to stop it from going up." 'Sorry." She wipes her face with the backs of her hands. 'Just focus on getting better." We remain silent for a bit as I drink in her presence. Who knew having her by my side this way would feel so fulfilling? 'What happened last night?" I ask. 'I don't know. We were attacked by armed men. Vlad think it was the Irish, but I'm not sure. They didn't look Irish." 'And how do you know what the Irish look like? Did you hear them talk?" 'No, but the Irish aren't stupid enough to attack the Father's house. That's like a direct declaration of war, and they wouldn't do it." 'Maybe they didn't do that in the past, but now they've changed their minds." She shrugs, neither denying nor confirming that option. I opt to not push the idea because it will appear suspicious. It's the only time I'm glad most other men don't take Rai's words seriously. They can't suspect that it's not the Irish. 'Either way…" Rai continues wiping my skin as she speaks. 'Uncle Raven told Father to prepare for battle. I bet he's the most ecstatic about this turn of events. You know how he gets when it comes to the word ‘war'." 'What is your role in all of this?" 'I'm just financing for now. I can't fully participate." 'Why not?" 'Because I'm taking care of you, genius." 'You don't have to take care of me. I have that guard, Peter. Where is the useless kid, anyway?" 'No." Her tone brooks no argument as her determined eyes swing back to mine. 'I will be the one who takes care of you." 'Do you really want to?" 'I'm your wife. It's my duty." 'I didn't think you took our vows so seriously. Speaking of which, there's that part that says to love and to cherish." 'Don't get ahead of yourself." 'Well, at least I tried." Her eyes still have tears, and I don't like it. I don't like that those beautiful blues are marred with something as painful as tears because I know Rose's not the type who would show her emotions to the outside world this easily. She's not the type who cries just because she feels pain. If anything, she's the type who would hide her weaknesses with all her might. So the fact that she can't right now means those emotions are too strong for her to control. 'I'm in pain," I murmur. Her head snaps from her task, and she checks my wound, then my face. "What? What is it? Is there anything I can do?" I extended my arm to my non-injured side and pointed at it with my head. 'Come here." 'No. You're wounded." 'Come here, Rose." 'Why?" 'Because I want you close." "Why do you want me close?" Her voice is small, as if she didn't know how to ask that question. 'Because at the moment when I thought it was the end, that's the only thing I wanted." She doesn't release the wet cloth as she slowly climbs onto my side, carefully trying not to disturb my injury. Her head lies on my biceps, and she watches my face with her hand slung around my abdomen. For a moment, she stared at me, and I stared back. Tear streaks break the layers of her makeup, and she's still in last night's dress. She didn't have the time to leave me if she wore clothes from last night. 'What are you thinking about?" I asked. 'You have another gunshot mark on your shoulder." 'Have you been touching me inappropriately, Princess?" I teased. Her cheeks gain a red hue, but she stands her ground. 'What are you talking about? I'm your wife—I can't touch you inappropriately." I like how she calls herself my wife. I like how she's finally coming to terms with that fact. 'I was shot at." 'You're lucky to have survived two shots." 'It's probably because I had you this time, and that's why I escaped the afterlife." 'Stop joking around about death. You were almost gone." 'I'm right here." Her breathing hitched a few seconds ago, returning to normal as she stroked my abdomen. Then, her fingertips slid up my chest to the gunshot mark. "What happened?"