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CHAPTER FORTY – TWO: US TOGETHER ROSE'S POV My husband is now my guard. I doubt that it will ever return to normal. We're not your typical married pair after all. Our world is not a fairy tale, and we did not begin in the typical way. However, once he said that he left me because he believed I was unkind to him, something inside of me began to change. It has something to do with that, his pledge to never visit me again, or the fact that he risked his life twice for me. He was willing to accept death in my place. A part of me, the one that Dedushka conditioned to always have a healthy dose of skepticism, tells me I shouldn't put this much faith in Ethan. I shouldn't trust him with my life the way I previously did. The other, more deranged part, though, the one that falls into his arms each night, wants to be with him always. When I don't see him for a few hours, that part of me misses him. That aspect allows him to feast on my body as though it had always been his. He does gorge himself on me. Ethan is incredibly resilient, even when he is injured, bandaged, and still not fully recovered. Whether he makes me happy with his dick or his toys doesn't matter. Both have the power to bring out previously suppressed aspects of me. Although some people claim that the physical and emotional parts are distinct, I disagree. I never once believed that my body and heart were separate. Therefore, whenever Ethan stimulated my body, he also touched something inside my chest. He dug even deeper holes for himself with each brazen f*ck. I set the basket in the space between us as we settle on a seat beneath a huge 2 consecutive tree. The rare cloud in the pristine sky occasionally blocks the sun. "Does it contain any poison? ", he inquires with a smile. "I'll be happy to get you poison if you want it," she said. He says, pinching my cheeks and keeping his hand there. "Please don't take offense...I was joking. Has anybody ever informed you that you are tense, or are they too afraid of you to say it? " "I'm not tense. I'm simply being honest. He still strokes my cheek after releasing me. "Which is another name for tense," but, I digress slightly. "Stop using passive-aggressive language." "I'm Princess; acting aggressively in a passive manner is who we are." I dragged the pancake container toward him while shaking my head. I anxiously await Ethan's response as he takes a bite. He doesn't flinch, which is a positive sign. He does, however, stop chewing. 'What? You're not fond of it? " 'No." He smiles a little. "It just...brought back a taste from a long time ago. My mother used to make these and even had a unique recipe for them." "Dad made them in the past. He claimed that prior to becoming wealthy, he was a destitute student who treated himself to pancakes whenever he received payment from a part-time job. They kind of started to mean something to me too." "Do you believe your life would have been different if you had remained at his side? " 'Probably. However, I wouldn't have survived here and I wouldn't have met Uncle if I had. With him, I experienced some of the craziest days of my life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I constantly missed Dad and my sister at the same time. I realize it doesn't make sense." "It is entirely reasonable. All you wanted was your complete family present. That is why, when it comes to defending them, you risk losing compassion. I looked at him incredulously for a moment. I never anticipated that he would be able to determine my angle with such ease. He can be overly perceptive at times, which is both unsettling and reassuring. It clearly leans toward the latter at the moment. I go for a bite of pancake to distract myself from wanting to hug him. We ate for a few seconds in silence. The sun glares down at us as it emerges through the clouds. Ethan puts both of his hands in front of my face to block the sun's beams till it is hidden by a different cloud. Even if he sometimes goes far to protect me, I can't help but smile when I see his intent look. We keep eating in silence as we take in the scenery, the serenity, and the distant bird song. When they notice us, a couple of guards bow, and we, or rather, I greet them back. Ethan continues to give them all the evil eye. I fill a cup with juice and guzzle it down. "Why do you seem to be planning the most effective way to kill them? " "Since I am," "How could you?" "They make strange faces at you." I laughed out loud, "I'm their boss. They don't give me a weird look. " "They do, indeed." "You're just being overly cautious." "And you are so blind to your own attractiveness." The straw is halfway to my mouth when I pause. Although Ethan has called me gorgeous before, the compliments never seem normal. "What's this got to do with my beauty?" "If it weren't for your f*cking beauty, I wouldn't want to rip out every bastard's heart who looks your way." I drooped my head in confusion as to how to respond. He talks in such a possessive manner that I have no idea what to say. Therefore, he continues, "don't worsen their situation." "How so?" "Don't interact with them or smile at them; those should solely belong to me." "You are excessive and you belong to me." I guzzle my juice down in one motion because I'm stunned into silence once more, which makes Ethan smile. Then he grabs my hand and rests it on his thigh before tying our fingers together. My hand's back is being rubbed by his thumb in a pattern that leaves me gasping for air. "How did that go?" "What happened after I left?" "It was good," He looked at me oddly. 'What? I swell my chest. Did you anticipate me starting crying and informing you that the situation was tragic? " "You are defending yourself." "I'm not, no. I'm just responding to your query, and the response to that query is that I was alright." I tried to hide the fact that my life seemed to have lost its meaning. Even though I accomplished all of my goals, there was no thrill. At some point, I became aware that something was missing, but I wasn't aware of what it was until he later returned to the dining room, claiming to be Nathan's kid. I feel as if I'm in the middle of a snowfield in the middle of a frigid storm when Ethan brushes his lips across my temple. Against my flesh, he admits, "I wasn't fine.I was actually in a bad mood. You were missed." My throat feels choked with a variety of feelings. Before I talk, I check it. "How could you possibly miss me? " I missed waking up every morning to find you at my door demanding that I teach you something. I forgot how you looked out for everyone around you, even though you tried to make yourself as discreet as possible so they wouldn't feel uncomfortable. "Well, I got used to your stubbornness and your take-no-nonsense attitude and how much you challenged me every step of the way." He smiles, "As rare as it is, I missed your smile. I missed how you treated your guards as family members and how you never made them feel inferior." I feel like I will crumble in his arms this time. I can't stop the weak moan that comes from my throat. "Did I miss you?" Is that a trace of fragility I detect in his low voice? If I don't respond, "Are you ever going to forgive me?" I am able to smile. "Try again." "I do try every night, but for various reasons, I suppose." "What do you intend to accomplish?" 'Hello? Obviously, I'm attempting to conceive a child inside of you. Imagine everyone's shock when they learn there was never a baby to begin with." "That is not doable." "What gives?" "I use birth control pills. Have you truly not seen that?" "Naturally, I have." "Then, how in the world do you anticipate that I will conceive? " "A tiny thing known as a miracle." Miracles are unlikely to occur anytime soon. "We'll check into that." As I look at him, I squint. What in the world does that mean? " He pretends to be unconcerned, "Nothing. But I swear to you that one day, when I adore you, you will carry my child inside your womb." "Not if I get to decide." 'Hmm." "What does 'hmm' stand for?" "I'll make you another promise." "What sort of assurance?" He touches the flesh of his lips with my hand as I raise it to him. "The kind of place I'll never leave. And you're coming with me if I do leave."