32

CHAPTER THIRTY - TWO: NEVER ENDING REALIZATION ROSE AMARA POV I lean against the door as it closes and allow myself to let go. My core continues to pulse after my terrifyingly intense release, and my legs are struggling to keep me up. I'm breathing forcefully, just like a zoo animal that is unable to escape. I covered my face with both of my shaking hands, trying in vain to calm myself. I have to stop it right away. I have to stop it. How could I have let that brute, that idiot, to so blatantly own me? How could I feel as though I had been looking forward to that pleasure for years? I haven't, am I correct? I lean against the door as it closes and allow myself to let go. I freeze when I hear rustling on the other side of the door because I can sense him even though I can't see him or hear him speak. Inexplicable forces are attuned to him, and unseen cords are always drawing me in his direction. "What did I say about not isolating yourself from me, Rose?" His command to open the door is calm and calculated, but I can feel the threat hidden beneath it. "Go away from me." "I'm breaking the f*cking thing if you don't open it," he said. I say, "Just...let me be," and as soon as I fix my eyes on the ring, the origin of the whole predicament, I know that there is no turning back. "Let's go to three. I don't even have time to say, "One, two," before something hard slams into it. I leap forward as the solid door thuds open, joints almost ripping out of their places. Ethan is standing at the door nude, like a mighty warrior just returned from a battle. I was aware of his strength, but I was unaware of its extent. His sexual prowess should have given me some idea of his limitless endurance. With panther-like quickness, he stalks inside the bathroom without making any noise at all on the smooth white tiles. I naturally take a step back. His eyes have a scary quality about them. I could feel it when he was f*cking me, but I didn't know what it meant. Although it didn't exactly anger back then, it looks to be getting close. In any case, I don't want to butt heads with this Ethan, especially since I'm nude and at my weakest. "I didn't say you could lock me out, did I?" I feel a knot in my stomach as he asks with an apparent calm. My foot snags on the edge of the shower's entrance with my rear foot. I look at risky so I can enter. I know I'm trapping myself, but I have no other option while he's coming at me like this. When I raise my head again, Ethan's height obscures my view. I feel imprisoned by the condemning thoughts and the enraged expression in his eyes. He grabs me by the throat and slams me against the wall with my back against it. I'm having trouble breathing, and I can feel the blood pouring into my face. His grip had nothing sexual about it. It's rough and intended to frighten. "I don't give you the right to flee or hide. Do you really get it? " My attempts to wrest control of his hands only make him tighten his hold until no air can escape. My struggles have come to an end because doing so would drain my energies. He has more physical strength than I have, so if I try to outmatch him on that, I'll only end up killing myself. "Is what I understand?" He grabs my hair with his other hand when I remain motionless and forces me to nod. "Yes, I do understand that. I promise not to flee from you." He releases his hold on my neck, and I suck in a lot of air, choking on the vitality it gives me. I had to take a few long breaths to recover. I manage, looking up at him, "F*ck you." "How can you expect me to give you that when you fled first? You went before I did! " "What is your perspective on this? Do you intend to abandon me in retaliation? " "Believe me, if I set my mind to getting back at you, leaving would be the simplest thing for you to do." "Rose, don't you dare try my patience." "Then what? Or what the f*ck? You have already taken a lot from me." I try to push at his chest, but he has a firm hold on my throat and hair, imprisoning me. "If you think I will let you do it again, you don't know Rose Amara Amber." "You missed a small detail, Mrs. Pendleton. You are now my wife." "That does not make you my boss, though." He eases his grip a little by stroking his finger in my throat's hollow. "We'll see about that," he says. 'You are prone to bruising." When I look down at my body, I immediately feel bad. My neck, breasts, hips, and thighs are covered in bruises, hickeys, and imprints from his fingertips. I do longer even recognize my own body. It seemed to have already left me and moved on to Ethan. I shove at him, "Let me go." Between him and the wall, he holds me captive. "Not until you explain to me why you left the bed in that condition and went into the bathroom." The power, the abandonment, the scorching pleasure, and the awful pain of what happened all came flooding back to me at once. "What is it that you wish to know? You have already achieved your goal." "We achieved our goals. Never attempt to pretend that you were unhappy with what happened." "I instructed you to wear a condom. You were warned not to enter me. His pupils get smaller. "Is this the cause of all the commotion? The condom? " "The pregnancy is the topic of discussion."At that point, my voice breaks, and I turn my head away from him. Ethan uses his grip on my hair to refocus my gaze on his sinfully attractive yet expressionless face. "And you detest that so greatly? " "Obviously, I do! Who would bring a child into the world in their right mind? No one is aware of it when there is a father. What if you aren't there when I wake up one day? "I pause before letting out what I'm feeling, "because the last time I was by myself, I hardly made it. I can't do it once again, especially if there is a victim." "Is that how low you hold me in your mind?" His voice seems more astounded than angry, which makes me feel more worse. "How should I respond? I have no knowledge of you. Nothing. Nothing more than the fact that you're a killer was said about you by the whole monarch. Ethan, who are you? What parents do you have? Where exactly are you from? What last name do you really have? Is Ethan even your real name, or will I have to deal with another "f*ck you" once you leave? " "For someone who, in your own words, doesn't give a f*ck about me, you ask an awful lot of questions." I tightly pucker my lips in order to keep the years' worth of chaos a secret. If I do, he will realize how much he damaged me, and I won't ever again give him that kind of control. "Don't forget this." He continues watching me with unnerving silence but says nothing. He doesn't even attempt to answer my questions or get closer. He's happy with being miles apart from me, while the most intimate moment we've ever had was when his body sank into mine. I try not to let that piece of information get to me, but it slices me open from the inside like a thousand cuts. I'm bleeding, but he doesn't see it. I'm choking, but he'd never allow me air. 'Let me go." My voice is numb, monotone. 'I need to shower and buy the morning-after pill." Surprisingly, he does release me. I wait for him to say something, but he turns around and leaves. He doesn't close the door, but the emptiness he leaves behind echoes in the silent bathroom. I take a scalding shower, rubbing his dried cum between my thighs and holding in tears, barging into my eyes. You won't shed a tear over that man, Rose. Never again. I close my eyes and allow the stream to surround me as I reflect on Dad and Mom, the loved ones I lost and will never be able to have again. Even Belle occasionally feels too far away. Generally speaking, it is. I always manage to lose the folks I believe to be family. Father will also depart. Then, it will only be Belle and I. All by myself. Even if I am married, does it really matter if Ethan stays in his own cage? Does it matter if I am unable to escape the feeling that he will depart at any moment and left me again?