CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER EIGHT: He left, Again On this wedding day, I feel as if I'm attending my own funeral. As if a key part of my being is slowly fading, an emptiness grips me. Perhaps this part of me died a long time ago, but I'm only now feeling its absence. I never imagined happily ever after or romantic weddings. Instead, I was drawn to stories of hideous beasts and demons. Such memoirs, I believed, carried more truth than fairytale ending. Maria clung to her conviction in her white knight and the fairy tale she had created for herself, in the words of a great author. Her feelings for her husband had grown stronger as they grew older. Despite the obstacles in her path, Maria persevered till her fairy tale ended happily. Such a life seemed unattainable to me. My personal path to marriage, on the other hand, was not what I had anticipated. I was sold like cattle to the highest bidder. As I look in the mirror, I see myself dressed in a modest white dress with lace that covers my arms and buttons up to the neck. I applied a thick coating of makeup to my face while my hair was neatly twisted at the nape of my neck. To boost my allure, I chose a bright red lipstick. As much as I wanted to wear a black dress, I recognized the duty to keep the brotherhood's image and refrained from doing so. The person that welcomes me is calm and pleasant, almost as if it were my wedding day. It's not. Today is the day that I take the next step toward achieving my goal. When the doorbell rings, I clear my throat. "Come on in." Uncle Raven enters inside, his strides slow as he avoids putting too much strain on his stamina. His white hair is neatly styled, and he's dressed in the tuxedo he wears only on exceptional occasions. I'm not sure whether I should be happy or unhappy that he feels today is a special occasion. I get to my feet and kiss his knuckles. He gently strokes my hair with his other hand before releasing it. "Your mom would've been so proud of you." When I hear Mom's name, my throat tightens. Today is the worst day to mention her and how I wish she was by my side. "If s she were here," I tell myself, "neither Belle nor I would have to be compromised." Uncle Raven sighs, and the sound is rough, as if he is having difficulty breathing. "It would have happened eventually; neither my sister nor I could protect you for the rest of your life." "But you could at least protect Belle. You had her at forty—doesn't she mean anything to you?" He pauses. "She means the world to me, but she was born into the brotherhood and will abide by its rules. I restrain the jest in my voice, "Yeah, a woman can't go so far." 'Who said she couldn't?"" "Everyone here, including you. Since I was a young girl, that is what I have always been told." 'We did that to keep you safe, you see." "I don't require security. I must shield people from harm." He smiles a little and begins coughing, "They sure do, you troublemaker." It gets louder and more intense until he collapses. I grab some tissues from my console and quickly hand them to him. The white color changes to red as he coughs blood into them. As his fit goes on, my heart becomes stuck in my throat. His coughing finally stops, slowly but not gracefully. As he waves a hand and places the tissues in the trash, they are covered in blood. In order to wipe his mouth, he retrieves clean ones. Uncle is still an Amber. He doesn't want his family or anyone else to see his frailty. I hesitantly ask, "Are you okay?" Should you visit a doctor? He slowly approaches me and puts both of his hands on my shoulders, saying, "Doctors are pointless."  I'm forced to look at him. He has a breathy voice when he speaks. 'Don't look at this marriage as misery. Look at it as an opportunity to stay in a position of power, even from the background. That's the only way to protect yourself and everyone you love. Those who say women can't go far in this world are opposed to what the likes of you can do. You must be careful and smart: your enemies are more than you can count or see." Not only because of his advice, but also primarily because he believes in me, his words have a profound effect on me. Despite everything that has been thrown my way, he still has faith in what I am capable of. I know that. That would not only weaken him and jeopardize his position, but it would also put me in a terrible situation. It would appear that I dislike finding my fruit quickly. I like to look for it. I kiss his knuckles once more and say, "Thank you, Uncle." He taps my head to indicate his acceptance before extending his elbow to me. I check that my gun is securely fastened to my thigh by tapping beneath my wedding dress. He asks, "Ready?" No, but I keep quiet because I need to be prepared. Physical or emotional suffering only lasts for a while. Mom used to say that to Maria and me. I crook my gloved hand in his arm and say, "Ready," allowing him to lead me from my room. The reception will be held at the main brotherhood compound where we will live after the wedding, which will take place in a church due to...traditions. Instead of forcing me to move to Nathan's, which is completely illogical, Ethan readily agreed to live with us. Typically, men are eager to claim women as their own, including by housing their wife. I know Ethan is acting strange, but I haven't said anything because I don't have any proof to support my suspicions and I'd rather stay with Raven and Belle. All he has done during this time is re-enter the brotherhood as if he had never left, never cut a wound open, and never permitted it to heal. Except for the first day when he cornered me, the other leaders and I have only twice gathered around Raven's breakfast table to talk strategy and the Irish threat. Even when Hades and I teamed up to attack Ethan, he hardly ever acknowledged us or even gave us a glance. Although we were getting married so soon, I didn't want him to. I don't know, he could talk about it or something. He'd be waiting too long if he waited for me to bring up the subject. Yes, I could have postponed the wedding, but what good would it do to put off the inevitable? Raven also wanted this to occur as soon as possible due to the danger to all of our lives. Ahead of time, crucial security precautions were made. Raven argued that my desire for a small, unimportant event would bring shame to our family name. All of our influential political, business, and mafia allies were invited by him. The air was choked with the interminable number of guards that arrived to defend their superiors. We don't need to tell you that our own men are keeping hawk eyes on everyone and everything. No mistakes were permitted today, as per Raven's clear instructions, and he wanted things to run smoothly. Even Eya and Zeth are positioned across from the aisle, partially hidden by the colorful flowers. Raven leads me down the aisle as traditional music plays. The spacious area becomes silent. Some women turn around and glare at me. A number of the faces belong to the Triads, the Yakuza, the mafia families, and even the business partners of us. But they didn't come for me. They came to take Uncle Raven and the authority he stands for. To me, their existence is meaningless. It would be a different story if Maria were here. I could feel less apprehensive about what lies ahead. This is the finest option. She is at least secure, and I can watch over her from a distance. There was no way in hell I was bringing my identical twin among all these hostile individuals who wouldn't think twice about harming her in order to get to me. I concentrate forward, my face peaceful and calm, and the faces of the attendees soon grow fuzzy. Nathan, who we pass, smirks undoubtedly believing I'm in pain right now. Even though that might be the case, Father had taught me never to let the public see my suffering, so I chose to ignore him. "If they believe you are strong, they won't risk attacking you." My motto and the reason I can accomplish this is because of his words. After all, if the conflict doesn't start, nobody can win. Apart from Hades who had previously stated out loud that he didn't think this marriage was a good idea, is now mute and just looks at me. He appears to have just rolled out of bed, as seen by the way his jacket is wrinkled over his untucked shirt. They are joined by other king as well. While their sons sit behind them, the first two are joined by their wives. Given that he is in charge of the event's security, Hades is backstage. On the far right, Belle is seated next to father and beaming broadly at me. She thought this was a wonderful occurrence since she trusted all I said when I claimed I wanted this. So you're now one of us. Since Maria was away, at least I have Belle here. As I stand at the altar in front of the priest, the music stops. He wears customary religious garb and a golden cross cap. When it becomes apparent that the groom is still not present, murmuring breaks out in the gathering. Because I stated that I didn't enjoy the whole part of him waiting for me, we are meant to leave at the same time. My lips quiver as a flood of diverse feelings, including fury, hatred, betrayal, and most of all sadness come over me. He cannot possibly have wounded my dignity once more. This is not possible. But as I keep my gaze fixed on the crowd, the reality slowly but surely dawns on me. When I look at Hades, he shakes his head. He was the one who informed me that Ethan had been nearby earlier. So, where the devil is he right now? Being aware of what is taking place while Nathan chuckles hits me in the strength. Ethan left me behind. Again. Only this time, he did it in front of everyone at the altar.