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CHAPTER FORTY: WILL NEVER BE THE SAME ETHAN'S POV "I was with my friends a long time ago." I can at least show her a side of me she has never seen, because I can't give her the truth without revealing who I am. I'm so firm to keep her close when I know how she feels about what I want. 'Friends?" They were my colleagues from the assassination organization, not really my friends. They resemble my family in some ways. Similar to the family but with far less fidelity on our part. All we did was coexist. I felt as though my godfather was slipping away from me: the family patriarch. 'Is he a mafia member? " Kind of. Although I wouldn't classify him as a mafia member, the idea is near enough. "So what happened next" "Some opponents in the realm we ruled in London desired the death of my family. Of course, I couldn't let it happen, so I decided to find the offender on my own. "So, how did you get shot?" That's how I got shot, or quite close to it. She doesn't have to be aware of the specifics. "What distinguishes being shot from getting shot yourself?" She asks, which surprises me. She pays close attention to nuances that others would not even notice. "Getting shot means I caused it," someone once said. "How did you act?" "And that's a problem?" "Yes, sometimes, but that's how I was able to understand that I shouldn't be overly concerned about anyone. Because I have my own life and they have their own, in the end." It takes a lot of guts to protect oneself and those around you, so I don't believe that to be the case. "Protecting others does not make you a bad person or someone you shouldn't be, in my opinion." "I didn't mean for you to take it that way, Princess, but I don't mind if you do." "You recently claimed to be overprotective, didn't you?" "Yeah, but not everyone around me. Not like you do. We don't do that where we came from." 'Me?" "Yes, you see to it that your family is well cared for." "I must do it." "It's dangerous to use yourself as a f*cking body shield in front of Uncle Raven." She gave me a long look before sighing. "I needed to. Only then could my family have a chance at survival. Anastasia and I will both be screwed if Uncle Raven passes away. "You're not," I said. "We are, indeed. Do you not see how my enemies are preparing a scheme against me? When Uncle Raven passes away, they will have my head served out on a platter. Have you seen that fox? Additionally, he has something up his prim and proper sleeve. Both of them won't harm you." "How are you so certain?" "Because you now possess me. Under my supervision, there is no possibility you will suffer harm. For a little moment, she is silent, and I believe she is nodding off. But suddenly, the void is filled by her words. "What made you go?" She's never spoken to me in anything other than a sexual manner before. It's not just because of the question, but also because of how she felt at the time it occurred. I think about my alternatives and how to approach her without alienating her. I'm really enjoying having her close by right now, or essentially at any time. I say, "I had a mission, you see." "What kind of mission is it?" "For your own protection, the type you shouldn't know about." "Ethan, I have a right to know why you left me." "We weren't dating or having any sexual activity back then, so what do you mean I abandoned you? "You were the closest guard I had, the only one I ever let know about my twin sister, the only person I discussed my past with, and yet you just got up and left as if nothing happened, as if we didn't share those things together," she said. "You said I wasn't needed. You stood in front of me and declared that you were an independent individual who didn't want assistance after we had saved her. You stated those things, so stop acting as though you pleaded with me to stay while you are sitting here." "Asked you? Are you aware of the way that sounds? Ethan, you know me, or you did back then. Did you honestly believe I'd ever ask for you, who served as both my anchor and the last person I needed by my side, had just passed away at the time." "I couldn't exactly read your mind," she said. "So you walked out like nothing happened?" "I said I was out on a mission." "What kind of mission is it? Don't say I shouldn't know for the sake of my safety. We have already been wed. There is no barrier separating us." "Yes, there is, and she has been creating it from the very beginning. Considering what I'm keeping hidden, I'm not any better. The barrier does, however, still remain, and all I want to do is f*cking get rid of it." "The task was for the company I previously mentioned. I was forced to return to England." "And because of that, were you unable to return my calls or let me know via text message?" 'Yes." "But, Ethan, why? Why in the devil did you abruptly remove yourself from my life? " "Considering that's what I do. I evanesce. I was unable to maintain contact since doing so would have made me want to return, which was not an option." "You only desired to depart." I didn't want to think about you, so I replied, "Yes." "You had already made up your mind about your course in life, and I had no place in it." She utters the word "idiot." "What does that mean, exactly?" She repeated mockingly, "You don't need to know for your own protection," what I said previously. "You don't give up easily, do you?" "No, and it won't be pretty if you go without telling me again." As a way of responding, I lightly brushed my lips across her forehead. We continue in this manner until she eventually nods off from tiredness. I grab my phone and unlock it as soon as she does. I've got a lot of messages. Each of them has a different level of importance. Night: Tonight's attack went without a hitch. F*cker. Naturally, it did. Night: Isn't it strange that I get shot during an attack I started? I type. Ethan: Did our side suffer any casualties? Night: Besides your embarrassing shot, none. It was a part of the plan, Ethan. Night: B*llshit. Ethan: How the hell come one of us shot Uncle Raven? Night: You said to inflict enough harm to provoke war. Ethan: Genius, who the f*ck would start that war if Uncle Raven is dead? Night: Every single other. Genius. Ethan: Don't shoot Uncle Raven without first informing me. Night: A bloody a**hole. Ethan: How are they doing? Night: They're trembling in fear. As they ought to. Because the Russians would never allow one of their own to be shot and remain silent about it, despite their earlier hesitation. Even just for that, someone should get shot. In addition, Uncle Raven will have entire faith in me, and I will be respected by everyone for defending their boss. Ethan: All of those advantages will be to my benefit. Night: Oh, and Ghost is aware of your shooting. Night's text is so long that as I read it again and over, I almost dropped the phone. I'm not hallucinating. He only stated that my Uncle was aware. Why did you tell him, Ethan? Night: A passing discussion. Ethan: Hmmm. He never acts without first formulating a plan, which is why he explains Father inquired after me. Yet why? He was clear that he didn't want to see my face again when we broke up ten years ago. Ethan: And? Night: What else? Ethan: And what did he say? Night: Nothing. You are aware that he is a quiet man. The hope that had previously grown in my chest now withers and dies. Of course, after that treachery, he would remain silent. I mentally shake my mind and get back into the game. Ethan: Keep me informed about your side, and the next time, assassinate a senior official. If one of them is dead, the war will be more definite and ferocious. The only oversight in my strategy was the hand this woman had around my waist, as if she didn't want to let go. My only loose end is this woman, but I'll figure out a way to bring her back to where she belongs directly behind me. I mumbled, "Go to sleep. In the near future, your life will never be the same."