77

CHAPTER SEVENTY – SEVEN ROSE AMARA'S POV Ethan isn't there when I wake up in the morning. In fact, he hasn't been there since I said those words. He pulled out of me, and although he didn't leave the bed, he didn't hold me either. He was there in body but not in soul. He slept with enough distance between us for the first time since we married that I shivered in the cold. And in a way, it felt like he disappeared again. I should've seen that coming when I said I'd get an abortion. However, predicting something is entirely different from witnessing him withdraw from me. I guess a stupid part of me hoped he'd rectify his mistake by letting me have the final decision and actually respecting it. Instead, he didn't talk to me, didn't fight, and didn't even make one of his distasteful passive-aggressive remarks. He just left as he usually does. I try to ignore the soreness between my legs as I prepare for my day. I shouldn't have let him fvck me last night. I really, really shouldn't have. But hearing his soothing voice and warmth on my back loosened me up. It's the fvcking hormones; I can feel them stealing my good judgment away and scattering it into the air. That's why I said what I did right after we finished. I couldn't allow him to take everything from me without a fight. He wronged me. He put a baby in me without my permission, so fvck him and fvck the way he withdrew from me. Zeth and Eya wait for me in front of my room, expressions concerned. 'Did you even get any sleep?" I ask. Zeth gives a sharp nod. 'Yes, miss." 'No, you didn't. Look at those bloodshot eyes." 'They will eventually go away." Eya lowers her head. 'We…we would've never been able to live with ourselves if something happened to you." 'If we were there, you wouldn't have had to go through that, miss," Zeth agrees. 'Hey, you two, I was the one who told you to make sure Karl and Arden were safe. Okay?" 'But—" 'No buts, Eya. It already happened, and we don't dwell on what's happened, so we'll just focus on the future." I pat both of their shoulders. 'I feel so much safer knowing you two have my back." 'Always," both of them say, and I smile as the three of us descend the stairs. Peter, Ethan's lonesome guard who's usually lounging around the house, is stuffing his face with a muffin. He's the most useless guard I've ever seen, and it's not only because of his bleached hair and brow piercings. He lacks skills more than any guard I know, making me wonder why Igor would recruit him on Earth. He always talks back to Ethan, which usually gets him smacked upside the head. Ethan doesn't take him on dangerous missions either, so he eats and is lazy. Since he's here, Ethan could be around, too. My breathing shortens at the prospect of seeing and talking to him. Considering everything that happened last night, it won't be pretty. But I stand by my decision. 'Eya, clear my schedule for the afternoon." 'Done, miss." 'Will you need the car?" Zeth asks. 'Yes." If I'm going to get an abortion, I might as well rip off the Band-Aid sooner rather than later. I inhale deeply; I step inside the dining room for the usual morning meeting. Who knows how it will go with Ethan sitting beside me…? My tRosen of thought scatters when I don't find him at the table. Everyone is here except for him and Adrian. 'Rose," Raven urges when I remain rooted in place. 'Come, sit. We were about to discuss the funds V Corp has been funneling into the brigades." I force myself to stride to the seat and flop down beside Pakstan. He nudges me and lowers his voice, so I'm the only one who can hear. "Better today?" 'Yes," I reply meekly. 'The baby too?" 'Yeah." Apparently. 'Pity. I thought you'd leave the bastard Ethan if there weren't a baby." 'I can still leave him even when a baby is involved." 'That's my Rayenka. I vote for leaving him." 'Why are you so hell-bent on it?" 'You're matchmaking me with some Japanese girl who probably doesn't drink vodka. If I'm going to be miserable, I need to recruit you to my club." His brows rise. 'How about an affair?" 'Maybe if you're the last man alive, Pakstan." "I can make it happen," he murmurs with complete seriousness as if contemplating the best way. I shake my head, opting to not give him crazy ideas. More importantly, I'm in no mind to focus on mundane conversations. My mood went from bad to horrible when I walked inside and didn't find Ethan. Where the hell is he? And is he really going to let me abort without talking about it? The asshole's lack of reaction pisses me more than if he had one. Standing behind me, Zeth leans over to whisper in my ear, "Aleksander keeps staring at you, miss. You want me to put him in his place?" 'No," I murmur and smile up at Sasha, who discreetly smiles back. Pharaoah, on the other hand, glares at me as he readjusts his glasses. That manic look in his eyes can't be good news. The bastard really doesn't deserve Sasha by his side. I wonder if he knows she's a woman. What am I saying? Of course, he doesn't. If he did, he would shoot her dead. Since deceit is his modus operandi, Pharaoah takes offense at anyone lying or deceiving him. Besides, a woman passing as a man directly insults the Pakhan himself. Which is one more reason why I should bring her to my side. It's a world ruled by men, even female guards aren't allowed. Uncle River made an exception for Eya because I put my foot down for her. Everyone except Zeth still looks down on her, despite her top-notch skills. Of course, they do it behind my back because I would rip them a new one if they badmouthed her in my presence. During the meeting, we talk about the financing and that, due to the circumstances, I agree to release a higher percentage of V Corp's net profit. But I dig my heels in until Raven agrees that we'll have a deadline for when the brigades will repay the money, something Pharaoah and especially Mikhail don't like. Pharaoah disagrees because he hates to be told what to do by me—or anyone- but Mikhail is in a dire situation. I've seen his brigade's numbers, and they're more than shit. After the meeting, I linger in the dining room after receiving a text from my twin sister. Maria: I can't believe you met Arden and Karl but not me. It's been months since I last saw you, Rose. Should I apply for next year? I can almost hear the sarcasm and hurt in her tone. My chest feels stuffed as I stare at her tiny picture at the top of the chat. It's one of her holding Arden and laughing while Karl kisses her cheek. It's so spontaneous and full of life, like everything about Maria. I miss her so much, now more than ever. I wish I could meet her even for a while and just…talk. I want to tell her about everything like we used to confide in each other when we were little. "Leave us. I need a word with Rose." Pharaoah's voice pulls me out of my reverie, and I quickly hide my phone.