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CHAPTER FORTY - FOUR : WHO ARE YOU? ETHAN'S POV Nothing has ended. I briefly closed my eyes to try to block out the barrage of recollections. That evening, my destiny was sealed. I lost the only two people who could have shielded me from the outside world, in addition to my parents. The catastrophe struck without warning and was harsh. But that marked the beginning of my life and the point at which i began my transformation into this shadow. Even though life can be difficult, I didn't suddenly die. I was given a second opportunity to change into a shadow and the chance to slice their throats one by one. I'm close. I'm so f*cking close to making my mother proud after over thirty years. I've turned into a monster. The people responsible for her killing will pay with the same blood that left her body and my father's. I'm a monster with nothing to lose. The Irish and Russians are my own. He betrayed Mom and was one of the key factors in her murder. He was the one Mom trusted and offered information to in exchange for helping us free. It's just as disgusting who brutally murdered my father and took his authority. The beginning of his worry about what would happen to him was that. It's all about getting even. Justice... My mantra is life for life and blood for blood. Although I could have survived, a significant portion of me—my parents, my upbringing, and my entire f*cking life—were also shot that night. I hung up the phone with Night and put on my jacket before approaching the mirror. Rai usually slipped in front of me to adjust my shirt collar or jacket because nothing was ever perfect for her. Rose is careful and wants to be conscious of the situation, despite the composed appearance she presents to the world. Once everything is revealed, she'll undoubtedly fight me tooth and nail, but I'm prepared. Since the beginning, I've been prepared. This is one of my last meetings with the Russians before I depart. I make additional effort to present myself nicely. But I won't leave her. My wife. It makes no difference if this marriage began in the most unusual way imaginable. It's still true, and she agreed to it, signing it with an I do, which has much greater significance than she will ever realize. It also doesn't matter that I plan to return to my old ways, the days of killing and roaming around like a lone wolf. Rose will be by my side this time, which is the sole difference. I have no doubt she'll resist me every step of the way. She had the option of switching back with her twin or going missing, but she chose not to. She picks a bad neighborhood where half treat her badly and the other half scheme to destroy her. It won't be simple to convince her to reject Amber's inheritance because she has a fierce loyalty, but I'll manage to achieve it. A strong premonition slaps me in the face as soon as I open the door. There is a strange feeling. I have no idea what it is or why, of all times, it is arriving, but I am aware of its presence. Given that my instinct has always kept me alive, I cannot ignore it. Killers lose their lives as soon as they begin to ignore their instincts. That's all there is to it. The top of the stairs is when my legs slowly come to an end. Despite the fact that it is right in front of me, at first I believed what I saw. It's like having one of those bizarre nightmares where the only way out is another nightmare. Perhaps the memory of the darkest night of my life from earlier is returning to taunt me and drag me to yet another bloody black pit. I blink once and then twice, but the scene in front of me remains. Why the hell am I still asleep? I briefly closed my eyes before opening them, at which point the scene appeared to me for the first time. As if I were that five-year-old boy who was only able to halt and stare as if his life was being taken from him. The fact that Rose is lying at the bottom of the stairs, with her head cocked to one side and her limbs spread out in an odd manner as if broken, is not what is robbing me of my breath. She isn't moving, and that is the problem. I mumbled. "Rose..," but it makes no difference. 'Rose! " My hasty descent of the stairs almost caused me to trip over myself. I softly lay a hand on her shoulder as I knelt next to her still body. Almost barely, her chest is rising and falling. Stupid bloody hell. Why didn't I hear her tumble down the steps, even though I'm sure she did? Now that she is here, it is irrelevant. If she is seriously hurt, I carry her in my arms while making every effort to avoid moving her too much. She had a pale complexion, parted lips, and blood on her palms that suggested she may have nicked herself. "What happened?" Eya and Zeth run in my direction, focusing on Rose in my arms. I yell "Get the car." He answers firmly, "Yes, Sir," and storms out. I follow Eya, and she helps me in by opening the door. "What happened?" She ask. "I ought to ask you that, after all. Why didn't you accompany her? " "Zeth was getting the car ready when she sent me on an errand." Fuck. After Eya gets into the front seat, Rose's head is placed on mine as I take the back seat. "Get us to the hospital. Now." As the car exits the house with a loud scream of tires, I can only nod in response to him as I look in the rearview mirror. My finger was rubbed on Rose's nose. Although she is breathing slowly, it is present. She's not exhibiting any symptoms of consciousness, though. Zeth speeds through the traffic, cutting in front of vehicles like he's on a chase, and I try to hold her steady. As a check that Rose is still alive, Eya is constantly looking back at us. My heart starts to beat so loudly at that precise instant that it sounds as though it hasn't functioned in a while and is only now coming back to life before I feel her breath. It hurts in that way, to experience a transformation in your heart but be unable to see the person who brought about the change. "You're not a coward, are you, Rose? " I brush the frizzy curls from her face. She normally ties it up outside of our bedroom, but after the fall, the clip is now loose. Her pulse continues to lower as I continue to grasp her hand. It's not good. "Zeth, hurry up." "Yes, sir," he responds, and I tightly grab Rose to prevent her from falling. I close my eyes and breathe her in as my forehead touches hers. Like her, her smell is a blend of roses and lavender. Her perfume used to make me feel serene, but now it makes me feel horrifying dread. My entire body becomes f*cking cold at the notion of never being able to smell her again. Eya jumps out to open the door as the car comes to a halt in front of the emergency department. Rose was in my arms as I entered the building. I informed the nurses who arrived right away that she had fallen down the steps. "What you have to do doesn't matter to me. Return her to me." One of the nurses looks at me before turning to look at Zeth's large body and Eya's aloof face. She curtly nods, indicating that she is aware of the kind of people we are. I reluctantly helped them wheel her into one of the exam rooms, where we are not permitted to enter, by placing her on the moving bed. I could barge in, but I needed them to focus entirely on Rose, not be distracted by me. Zeth, Eya, and I stayed in the waiting room. It is white and has a death and antiseptic odor. Death can smell just as fresh as a hospital. It's distinct from the lingering burn from the gunshot wound in my chest. The wait is very long. It's probably been a half-hour, but it seems like forever. I move back and forth over the entire space like a suffocated. I can't do anything, and it screws through my brain. It reminds me of when I saw my parents pass away and desperately tried to get them to move. No. This time, the result won't be the same. "How did she stumble?' I heard Zeth talking in a low voice to Eya. "How could I be sure?" she replies softly. "Remember when I was out? " "The miss falling down the stairs doesn't make sense. It's not her at all." "I know. Unless…" He faced her fully. 'What?" 'Do you think…do you think someone pushed her? 'What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?" I snap, glaring at them. They stare at me right back. Eya and Zeth have never hidden the fact that they don't like me, probably because of the stories Rose fed them about me or because they think I'm controlling her a bit too much. Or maybe it's because I've been occupying most of her time lately, and she can't sit down and play with them anymore, or whatever the f*ck it is they do when they're together. Zeth remains silent. He's always been blank since we were both Rose's guards nine years ago. 'It's just that I find it odd for Miss to fall down the stairs," Eya says matter-of-factly. 'Why would that give you the idea that she was pushed?" I stopped my long walk and faced her. 'Because it feels like it." 'It feels like it?" 'It's an instinct." An instinct. F*ck. It's the same instinct I had when I came out of the room earlier. If this was caused by someone, I'd find out, and when I do, they should start counting their f*cking days. The door to the exam room slides open, and I rush to the doctor, meeting him in front of it. He removes his mask, revealing greasy skin and droplets of sweat on his thin upper lip. 'How is she?" I ask. "She sprained her neck and bumped her head; although it was mild, it's probably the cause of her fainting." 'And? Is she fine?" 'Well, yes, we believe so." 'What the f*ck do you mean by we believe so?" 'You're her husband, right?" 'Yes." 'It would be better for you to come in and see for yourself, but please don't distress her." 'She's awake?" 'Yes. She's just opened her eyes." The sense of relief hits me like an overwhelming wave, and I take a moment to soak it in my burning lungs. I push past the doctor and jog inside, uncaring about the strain I'm causing to my wound. Rose is lying on the bed. The color has somewhat returned to her cheeks, but she's still pale. Her eyes appear lifeless and without light, as she stares at the ceiling. "Rose! Are you okay?" I ignored the chair beside her bed and sat on the mattress. I hold her pale frail hand and pretend we're not in a place that reeks of death. I'm getting her out of here as soon as possible. Her head turns in my direction, and she stares at me for a very long seconds. Unblinking but unfocused. Her blue eyes were once bright and expressive but now emotionless like a wax doll. 'Hey, Princess. Are you okay? Talk to me." Her pale lips twist, and she murmurs the words that cut me in half. "Who are you?"