FRAGILE TRUTHS

Lena's POV Trying to make sense of the rush of emotions raging through me, I stared at Jacob for not sure how long. Deep and seething, simmering just under the surface was wrath. But another thing also was a weird pull of doubt. I was not inclined to believe him. Given what he had done, I wanted no more space in my heart for him. But there he stood, shattered and desperate, the same Jacob who had been my friend and confidante. And right now, my traitor. "You're saying Beckett broke you too?" I said again, the doubt thick in my voice. "How do we know this isn't just another one of your lies?" Jacob advanced, but Finn was fast to block his way. The two men clearly had conflict, like a live wire just about to break. Finn's barely under control anger, the protecting impulse that had only gotten stronger since we had dug more into this mess, radiated from him. "I deserve that," Jacob murmured, his voice low and somewhat contrite. Still, I am speaking the truth now. Beckett has made use of me. He—he never intended to keep me informed. He cast me aside once I handed him what he wanted. In this as in you, I am just as much a pawn. "A convenient narrative," Finn replied, his voice bland and uninterested. "How many more lies do you have to tell before you run out? Jacob stammered but kept his ground. "I understand." I do not expect you to believe me right now. But you have to pay me some attention. Beckett has scheduled something more than any of us could have imagined. It goes beyond merely bringing us down now. "What do you imply?" Before Finn could fire him down one again, I asked. I had questions and sought responses. I had to know even if everything was a lie—that this was simply Jacob attempting to save himself. I wanted something to hang onto, anything to sort out the anarchy. "He's going after the Council," Jacob continued, his eyes locked with mine, begging me to comprehend. "Everybody of them. It goes beyond us now, Lena. He is arranging a full-scale assault. And everything we know—all we have been battling for—will burn if we fail to stop him. Jacob's comments weighed down on us like a smothering blanket. The Committee? An attack on every one of them? My brain flew, trying to fit the bits of knowledge we had been compiling. Beckett had always been one step ahead and brutal. But this felt like something more than he could have handled. Something darker. Finn laughed short, austerely, without comedy. And you expect us to take you instantly on our side? After all? Quietly glancing at Finn, Jacob murmured, "I'm not asking for trust," then turned his head back to me. I am aware I do not merit that. I can help, though. Where Beckett intends to attack first, I know. Let me bring you to him if at all possible. Finn shot back, his hold on his knife tightening, "You're out of your mind if you think we're following you anywhere." "You have done sufficient damage." Jacob's eyelids fluttered, suffering carved on his face. Though he seemed not to be seeking forgiveness, I could sense a part of him yearning for atonement. "Lena," he whispered gently, his voice cutting through the stress. Just kindly. I understand you do not trust me; I am not to blame you. I swear, though; I did not want this. Beckett; he is too far gone. It escaped me until it was too late. My throat grew tighter. Something kept me back even though I wanted to yell at him, demanding how he could have let things slide this far. Up until he wasn't, Jacob had been there for me. And now he was presenting a road forward, a means to stop Beckett before it was too late. Could I, however, rely on him? Given everything, could I truly let him back in? I looked at Finn, whose tightly closed jaw made me believe he may crack. Jacob's treason almost cost us everything, thus his wrath was warranted. But I could not get rid of something Jacob seemed to have in his eyes. a weakness I had not before observed. He was terrified, not just afraid. Not only for himself as well. At last, my voice hardly steady, "I need to hear more." Finn looked at me sharply, but I held up a hand to stop him. "I'm not stating whether I believe you, Jacob. But we should know if what you are stating is accurate. All of that. Jacob inhaled, relief blazing across his face. He nodded, his shoulders drooping as though the weight of the last several hours had at last caught up with him. " Beckett's plan is already in motion," Jacob added, his voice lowering to a near whisper. "He is aiming especially at important Council members. He has already removed a couple agents to compromise their defenses. Tomorrow night during the assembly, the first significant walkout is scheduled. He wants to move then, when they're all congregated in one location. My heart fell. Tomorrow evening is. Not enough time existed for it. We were not ready. We hadn't even assembled our army yet, and now Beckett was poised to act? Everything seemed to be disintegrating far too rapidly. Jacob said, his tone sharp, "We can stop him." But we have to move right now. Only few of us are aware of, but the Council's headquarters has a secret entrance. You have to trust me even though I can get you in. Finn laughed off it. "You trust me? You believe you can simply waltz back into our lives and—' I sharpened my voice and interrupted Finn. Though I could see the wrath blazing in his eyes, right now there was no time for it. "We are not in a position with choices. Should what Jacob says be accurate, we cannot afford to waste time. He stared at me for a long time, his jaw clenched and his face hard. At last he breathed, frustratedly shaking his head. "You're making a mistake," he said quietly. But fine. Should this turn south, you are the one responsible. Knowing fully that the weight of the choice rested firmly on my shoulders, I nodded. Should I be mistaken and Jacob resume lying, it would cost us everything. Tension was high that evening as we headed into the Council's bastion. Finn stayed close, his motions crisp and exact, yet his silence cried louder than any words. Leading the route, Jacob leaned over and looked about as though Beckett's men were expected to burst out at any moment. I watched him closely, searching for any indication of betrayal, any clue this might be another trap. Though broken, yes, Jacob seemed real. Do you truly believe we can stop him? As we wound through the lanes, I asked softly. Jacob hesitated then answered in a hushed voice. "I'm unsure. But I have to give it a shot. Though I cannot reverse what I have done, perhaps I can stop Beckett before it is too late. His tone seemed to contain something that tightened my chest. Though his words were silent desperation, he was not pleading for pardon. He was striving for atonement, not only to save himself. Perhaps that was only wishful thinking on my side. Still, I had decided in either case. I also had to see it through now. The reality of what we were going to do really hit me as we got to the entrance Jacob mentioned. This was it. The instant everything would either fall apart or somehow, magically, come together. The weight of it pressed down on me, and for a moment I wanted to turn around. I wanted to leave all of this behind and settle into a life free of continual risk and treachery. That was not an alternative, though. It had never been. "Ready?," Finn asked, sounding less than I would have expected. His eyes locked with mine, and I sensed the unstated inquiry there—Are you sure? I nodded, though my heart was thumping in my chest. "Let's wrap this up." Breathing deeply, we entered the shadows knowing that the following few hours would determine everything. I turned one last time to check Jacob as the door closed behind us. Though his expression was blank, his eyes revealed a flutter of something I hadn't seen in him for some time: hope. By the conclusion of this, I hoped I wouldn't regret one final time depending on him.