THE BREAKING POINT

Finn's POV The blackness of the night encompassed me like a robe; the frigidity of the outside air seemed like a slap on my face. Not tonight; not supposed to be seen here. I ought to be getting ready for tomorrow and sleeping. But just now sleep seemed like the last thing I could afford based on something in my stomach. Staying against the collapsing alley wall, I attempted to clear my head. Everything seemed to be spiraling out of control and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get under control. Lena had been overly far away recently. She closed down even more every time I tried to push her to open, but I sensed she was keeping something from me. It was awful, like seeing her slide through my fingers. For Lena, it was personal, but for all of us the objective loomed huge. Beckett was not one more adversary. He was a ghost from her past, a shadow prowling over her long before I arrived on the scene. And I started to wonder if she was excluding me now for this reason. Was she shielding herself or trying to shield me? The smallest movement behind me set me on instinctive follow-through. Already on the grip of my rifle, I spun around but stopped short to see Lena emerging from the darkness. "What are you doing here?," I said sharply, dropping the gun. Finally we hardly needed any shocks. Lena's arms crossed over her chest and her eyes blazing with something I could not quite identify made me feel as tight as she seemed. Perhaps guilt is very different from terror. Her voice calm but wary, she added, "I could ask you the same thing." " You ought to be sleeping." Looking at her face for answers she wasn't ready to offer, I said, "I couldn't sleep." Lena, nothing fits here. This is really evident. She answered slowly at first, and silence felt like a reply in and of itself. She was hiding something really large. And she was killing me with her lack of faith in me sufficient to share. At last responding finally, "I don't know what you're talking about," her voice lacked assurance. She knew, too, that we both knew she was lying. As I came forward, I lowered the distance between us. "You don't have to do this by yourself," I advised, softly. "Anyway, we can face everything you are frightened of together. Not, though, if you keep excluding me. Her eyes locked with mine, and I briefly saw her armor breaking. Her hunt for flaws to cover. Still, it disappeared just as fast as it had first shown. Finn: you... She started then turned away and the words stopped. That was the spark of understanding when I realized things were rather different. She was not only keeping something from me but also ready to act without thinking. Saying, "Lena," I sounded both firm and kind. "You have time to halt whatever your plans call for. You are not carrying this weight alone. She turned back to face me, and I noted at that moment. The suspense was great. The dilemma of uncertainty. Doubt. She said, "I'm doing this for you." Her voice was barely audible. Those remarks really affected me more intimately than I could have expected. What do you suggest? She drew in deeply, as if preparing to utter what she was about to. Jacob dropped over here to see me tonight. Following the plan will trap us, Beckett warned me. My head shot forward. Jakub stands for Clearly, that was him. From the beginning, the man had been a problem for us; I still didn't know where his loyalty really rested. Lena still trusted him, albeit at least she used to. And you find him to be trustworthy? My voice asked more sharply than I had meant. Once more Lena stopped and lowered her head. She came honestly and said, "I'm not sure." I can't afford to gamble either though. Should he be correct, everyone died. And his answer then is what? I pressed; already, the response would not be to my liking. Her eyes locked with mine, and for the first time I could really see how much this was isolating her. He would want to relocate tonight. Hit before Beckett gets time to disable his protections. An explosion of resentment tore over me. And you were planning to go along? Without alerting me? Without letting the other employees know? Lena flinched, and I felt momentarily uncomfortable about the clarity of my voice. But I couldn't help it. It was intolerable to consider her rushing into danger without me, without the others. Little and virtually begging, her voice adds, "I didn't want to put you in more danger." I gave a shiver. "You believe that working alone increases your safety? You would not follow me anyplace, then? Her eyes sparkled with unshed tears; for a minute, I saw the Lena I fell in love with—the one bearing the weight of the world on her shoulders but always so dedicated to shielding everyone else. Her voice shattering, she continued, "I don't want to lose you." But I have no idea how I may stop this. Taking her hands in mine, I pulled her near. We are going to correct things. taken overall. Not precisely like this, but not by mindlessly murdering all of us. Lena looked up at me warily. She was fighting, the one meant to guard me and the part she knew she could not reach on her own visible inside her. At last she nodded; the strain was gradually leaving her body. She answered in a soft murmur: "OK." "We go through this together." Though I knew the speech was not done, relief flooded over me. Jacob's warning hung over Beckett still out there like a heavy cloud. Lena and I agreed at least right now. Several hours later it seemed to fly past. We gathered the personnel, issued Jacob's warning, and modified our plans in response. Everyone clearly felt animosity in the atmosphere. Little hope we would survive as we neared the lion's den. Jacob was waiting for us at the warehouse; his expression was as usual enigmatic. I had no choice; I did not totally trust him either. We had every advantage should he be reporting Beckett honestly. "We have to go quickly," Jacob replied, his voice low but firm. Beckett men are planning perimeter defenses. If we strike them right now, we could surprise them. Lena looked at me and for the first time in a very long time we were in harmony. We faced it together whatever happened next. Sliding over the darkness toward Beckett's deniary, the crew moved like a well-oiled machine. Our footsteps sounded off the vacant streets, the city shockingly still. My heart beating in my chest, we headed toward the construction. We had been training for this exactly. Still, something seemed strange to me. Jacob's genius was just as expected. Beckett was sharp, well above most. Why had he not yet moved? Aware we were on our way? I looked about, my eyes jumping between highways and rooftops. Then I saw it, a far-off flash of metal. I started to cry, "Get down!" immediately as the first pistol fired. As gunshots tore across the sky, the workers dispersed hiding beneath cover. My mind swirled as I tried to evaluate the circumstances. Men under Beckett had expected us. Jacob had guided us directly into a trap; this was not an accident. Lena stepped up next to me; her face was white but she appeared determined. She asked, just above the shooting, "What do we do?" I looked about as if my mind was working quickly. We would be ducks sitting here, unable to stay here. Retrenchment, though, meant Beckett would have advantage. We fight, I said with a strong voice. And we seize. Lena nodded and set her teeth motionally. For good as well as terrible, we were in this together. I felt as I loaded my weapon and got ready for the fight that this was merely the beginning. Beckett was not going to give up without struggle, nor were we. One thing seemed quite clear: this fight will transform everything.