Chapter 83

Chapter 7 Grayson and I haven't really talked for the next two weeks. The only time we did was when we worked on our Intro to Biology assignment, which wasn't even on the weekend. He was out that Saturday and Sunday so I actually had to get Belle to go over the lecture with me. When we weren't working on the assignment, he was out of the apartment, doing whatever. He normally came home after eleven and once, he came home at two in the morning. I couldn't sleep that night because I was worrying about him, but I didn't have the guts to call him either. Not to mention most of the nights, he would sleep on the couch instead of in our bed. It was hurting me a whole lot. We have never been this mad at each other before. We haven't hugged or kissed or held hands for two weeks. And I was really hating it. One Sunday morning, I woke up around twelve and was finally able to pull myself out of bed. I walked to the kitchen to get something to eat since I was starving. I immediately noticed a piece of paper on the fridge, so I took it off and read it. Flower, we were running out of groceries so I ran to the store to fill up and I didn't want to wake you. Text me if you need anything. I love you. -Grayson I stared at the note for a bit before placing it on the kitchen counter. That was the first time where Grayson actually told me where he was. The other times, he took off and didn't tell me where he was going. It wasn't like he needed to, but I was wondering where he was when he came home past eleven. Then again, he was probably off at parties since people couldn't stop throwing them. I made myself a sandwich and sat in front of the TV, something I did basically everyday when I wasn't doing schoolwork. Other times, I tried playing video games but I was rarely able to concentrate. I finished eating and went to the kitchen, washing the dishes that were in the sink. While I was doing so, I caught sight of the promise ring on my hand. I still remember everything Grayson said to me when he gave it to me. "I love you a lot, Poppy. And I know we're young and still in high school, but I really do see us sharing a life together in the future. And that's why I want to give you this promise ring. I promise that one day, I will ask you to marry me. Because I love you more than anyone." I wiped a tear away before I began drying the dishes. I loved him so much and his promises meant the world to me, but ever since university started, it seemed like the promises he made had little meaning. As soon as I put the last dish away, the front door opened and closed. Grayson then walked into the kitchen, dropping a few grocery bags near the entry to the kitchen. "Poppy, can we talk?" he asked. "Sure," I said quietly. "I'm just going to get straight to the point," he said. "If you're mad at me, you need to tell me why instead of ignoring me all day." Was he serious? "I told you why I was mad," I said. "And I can't really talk to you when you're never home." "So that's it?" Grayson asked. "You're mad because I'm not near you all the time? Since when did you get so clingy?" "Clingy?" I repeated. "I am not clingy. You never being home isn't the full problem. The full problem is you never keeping the promises you make with me. You promised to work with me on our first assignment, but you didn't keep that promise. Then, you promised to help me understand the lecture we had two weeks ago before we start on the assignment we were working on together, but you went to a party instead." "Well, sorry for trying to live my life," Grayson said. "I've been through so much crap and for once, I actually feel free. I thought you want me to be happy." "I do," I said. "But not when you're hurting me in progress. You broke your promises and you keep pushing me to the bottom of your priorities." Grayson scoffed. "And you don't do that to me?" "Seriously?" I asked. "When have I ever pushed you to the bottom of my priorities? Remember when you needed a place to stay? I didn't tell you to move in with your cousin. No, I suggested you move in with me. And remember when you tried committing suicide, twice with my knowledge? I convinced you not to jump the first time and dropped everything to comfort you the second time. And don't forget the times where you felt sick and I took care of you. I'm always putting you first. Ever since I first met you, you came first. Not second, or third, or last. First." "So you're saying I don't?" Grayson asked. "That I never stopped Ben from assaulting you a second time? That I never stood up for you when Devon and Belle were bullying you? That I never took care of you when you were paralyzed from the waist down?" "And now?" I asked. "Now, you've been group projects ahead of me, which I do understand. But not when you made a promise to me and broke it just to work with them. You know how much your promises mean to me." "Then what do you want me to do?" Grayson asked. "Drop my schoolwork just for you?" "That's not what I'm saying!" "It sure as hell sounds like it!" "I'm trying!" Grayson said. "Do you know how hard my classes are?! I'm trying to pass myself! I can't have you being pissed off at me!" "I'm trying to pass, too!" I said. "And I needed your help with an assignment and to understand some of the lectures! You kept promising me but you pushed it aside!" "Fine! I'll drop all of my work just to help you pass! Is that a deal?!" "That's not what I'm saying!" "Then what the hell do you want?!" "Would you just kiss me already?!" Grayson, not even hesitating, pushed me up against the fridge before crashing his lips roughly on mine. I honestly didn't know why I yelled at him to kiss me. Maybe it was because I was tired of arguing. Or maybe it was because we haven't kissed in a long time and I was craving it so badly. He kissed me roughly, like he was as pissed at me as I was at him. there was nothing sweet about the kiss, but it was sure as hell amazing. My hands were caught in Grayson's sandy blond hair, tugging on it to pull him closer. Grayson's hands traveled down my body and rested in a firm grip on my hips. He lifted me and my legs wrapped around his waist. His hands gripped my thighs to support me. He walked us to our bedroom and gently lowered me onto the bed, keeping our lips molded together. He hovered over me, moving his lips to my neck, pressing sweet kissed onto it. His hands were everywhere; on my thighs, my waist, my cheeks. Grayson's lips moved back to mine, molding them together. He kissed me like he never kissed me before, like I was the oxygen he needed. Grayson pulled away, pulling his shirt over his head and throwing it on the ground. I pulled him back to me, pressing my lips on his. My hands rested on his squared shoulders as he tugged on the end of my shirt, silently asking for permission. I pulled away as he took off my shirt, letting it join his on the ground. Our lips connected again and he continued kissing me angrily, showing me that he was still quite pissed at me. My hands were tangled in his hair as I kissed him back with the same amount of anger. Nothing sweet about it at all. It was our rage getting out. Grayson pulled away but kept his face close to mine, looking into my eyes. For a moment, I saw the love he still held for me. He connected our lips again, changing the anger of our kiss into love. ~*~*~*~ "So..." Grayson said slowly. "Are you, uh... are you still mad at me?" His arm was around me while my head was resting on his chest. My hand was held in his other one as it rested on his stomach. "I don't know," I said hesitantly. I wanted to be mad at him but after that, it was kind of impossible. It was our first time actually having sex even though we had been dating for almost a year and a half, changed in front of each other, and slept in the same bed together since we moved in to the apartment. "Are you still mad at me?" "I don't know," Grayson replied. "But that was..." He let the sentence hang there as if he wasn't sure about it. "Yeah," I said. "It was sure... something." "Something," Grayson repeated. Now, things were a bit weird between us. We had a heated argument, then an intense make-out session which led to us having sex for the first time, and now we didn't know if we were mad at each other. But maybe it was what we needed. We had been distant lately but after doing that, I never felt as close to him as we were now. Grayson sighed. "It was amazing, Flower. Absolutely amazing. I don't want to be mad at you and I hate having you mad at me." I looked up at him and sighed as well. "I know. It's just... lately I feel like there's other things you rather do than be with me. It hurts, Grayson. It really hurts when you go off partying or with your group when you promised you'd help me understand the class. I'm still struggling in it but I couldn't ask you since you were never home and Belle was busy a lot." "I'm sorry," Grayson said. "I'm finally free from my family and all that crap. I left it behind when we moved here to go to university, and it feels great to let loose for once. Not worrying about my family or anything." "I get it," I said. "But..." "We'll go over my notes for Intro to Biology tonight, yeah? No partying, no nothing. Just me and you. And textbooks." "Promise?" I asked. Grayson smiled, removing his hand from mine and brushing the hair out of my face. "Yeah," he said softly. "I promise." He pressed his lips against mine, but he pulled away once someone knocked on the front door. Grayson sighed. "I'll get it." He quickly pulled on his clothes before walking out of the room. I sat up, reaching for my clothes and putting them on. Grayson came back in the room with a regretful look on his face. "What?" I asked. "Well..." he said slowly. "I sort of promised my group we'd work together today so they're here." I shrugged. "It's fine. As long as you help me tonight, it's fine." "Yeah, but... Mina is one of them," he said. "I'm sorry, but I really didn't get to choose my group." "Grayson, seriously, it's fine," I said. "Sure, I'm not that fond of her, but school is important to you, right? Besides, the more you work together, the sooner the project will be done." Grayson smiled, leaning down and kissing my cheek. "That's the spirit. Can you do me a favor and put the groceries away? I would have done it but we kind of got occupied." "Sure," I said. "Now go work with your group." Grayson leaned to and kissed me, but he didn't pull away immediately. "I missed kissing you," he said before kissing me again. And again. And again. Eventually, I had to lightly shove him away. "Your group is here, go work with them," I said as I got off the bed. "And I'll put away the groceries." I kissed his cheek before we walked out of the bedroom. His group members were all sitting at the table. Like Grayson said, Mina was one of them. The others were Bianca and a guy I hadn't seen before. Grayson sat down at the table with them as I went to the kitchen to put the groceries away. "So, Grayson," I heard Mina say while I was busy in the kitchen. "There's going to be a killer party tonight at the usual place. You should come." I didn't even look at Grayson once that was asked. I swear, if he said he would go, I was going to be full-on pissed. We finally reached a settlement and he promise once again that he would help me with the class. I couldn't hold it off any longer. "I can't," Grayson said, making me release a quiet breath. "I have plans." "Can't you postpone?" Mina asked. "This party is going to be the best one yet, I can guarantee." "I really can't," Grayson said. "But it's going to be a killer," Mina said. "Trust me, you don't want to miss it." "Seriously, I can't make it," Grayson said. "Besides, I've been to enough parties the last couple weeks. I think I can miss one, even if it is supposed to be killer." I looked at Grayson and he looked at me, giving me a smile. I mouthed, "Thank you," because he was finally keeping his promises again. Things were going to be okay between us. I could finally settle into university life. Hopefully.