Chapter 5 Jaxon's POV

The Price paid for Power This is the point where I should be overjoyed, but no, I am very sad. I should be popping drinks in celebration of the alliance we got for strengthening the Silver Moon Pack, but no, I don't feel like celebrating it. This was made to be a strategic move, an opportunity to unite one of our rivals in marriage and strengthen our pack. They would join us in the war against other rival packs, but instead of serving its purpose, I feel empty. As I stood hopelessly in front of the grand hall, the exact place where I had cowardly agreed and vowed my loyalty to a union, which is more of a business transaction than a supposed marriage. Sera...Sera...phina Silverclaw. Just the name alone can frustrate me, rendering me powerless. She was not only cunning but ambitious. She's beautiful, no doubt, but what about her cold nature, her calculated ways of doing things without listening to anyone? Right from time, she had managed to creep into the hearts of many of my advisors and my council members and worsen it all: my family members. They had it that marrying Seraphina would be to our advantage, as it would fortify our stand with her pack. The marriage would serve as a seal and a pact of peace; it would create a favorable ground where our pack would thrive well in the future. And, as I stared absentmindedly at the amazing designs of the hall, starting from the golden flowers scattered everywhere to the colorful displays of silver drapes ready for the marriage ceremony, I was filled with only emptiness. I was meant to rejoice and celebrate my win, but instead, I was sad. All I know is that I don't love Seraphina. And will never become emotionally attached to her, I do not doubt that. I turned and made my way to a serene environment to clear my head. I reached the balcony and stopped, considering staying there for a breath of fresh air. A cool breeze from the forest hit my face as I stood there. I closed my eyes in meditation, trying to view a better side of my life that I had ignored, to choose power over my heart's desires. Oh, Liora. Her name came ringing in my head like a sweet melody. Oh, what a sweet soul. I had seen how broken she was when I rejected her, the pain that appeared in her eyes, the humiliation of the pack members, and firstly, my family. The way her beautiful face became blurry, her glowing eyes replaced with unshed tears, making her ever beautiful smile vanish into thin air. I had no intentions of hurting her, no intentions of joining my family to humiliate her, but I had to, for myself as the Alpha and for the whole pack. I had ended up shattering her heart, in an attempt to gain stability for the pack, and in that singular act, I had not only shattered hers, but also a piece of my own. Why did I allow it to go in this direction? Why couldn't I stand firm and follow my heart instead of allowing the council and my family to influence my decision? But I knew just the answer even before asking. Being an Alpha of a pack means forfeiting your desires just to please your pack, the people that you lead. Your desires revolve around that of the pack. And, an alliance was what they needed from me, and I gave in. I sensed someone walking in my direction, and when I turned, I saw Seraphina right behind me. She was already dressed and ready for the ceremony. The gown was a flowered silver design, which brought out her curves, clinging seductively to her skin. Her long but blonde hair flowed down her shoulders like a waterfall. She looked with no doubt, every bit required of the future Luna, exactly the perfect partner to a great Alpha. 'Hello, Jaxon," she called my name with a lot of confidence and the most sweetness of voice. 'I was busy looking for you all over the place, not realizing you were here. You should come with me right away; the council is waiting and eager to discuss and make the final arrangements for our beautiful union." I forced a smile. 'Of course, that's a great move, Seraphina. I'll round up immediately and join them in no time." She moved closer, fixing her gaze on me. 'You don't look the part of a happy groom, or am I overthinking things? There's no enthusiasm in your voice," she observed. I chuckled at her smartness. 'I'm just here... you know, thinking and meditating on this alliance, how it will favor our packs, and the huge responsibility facing both of us." Seraphina released a hearty laugh. 'You are always the focused and dutiful Alpha, you know," she said. 'But don't forget, Jaxon, this isn't all about politics. This will bind us together in love, to face life's goodness and challenges together." Her words showed her motive for agreeing to the plan. I always knew she wasn't just seeking power and influence; like the power freak that she was, I also noticed she wanted more, something stable. She desperately wanted to be Luna, the only one in control of the Silver Moon Pack, and could sacrifice anything just to get what she wanted; she was not in for plays. 'Yes, of course, Seraphina," I replied, maintaining my cool, 'The goal is forever dealt, come rain, come shine." She forced a smile. 'Good, then," she replied. 'I'm glad you understand the assignment, Jaxon. That's because, once we're married, we will remain married forever, no one backs off." I nodded while returning her smile. The choice I made is already after my life. I had made a terrible choice by choosing the pack over my happiness. Leading the people who cared less about my desires except theirs, even to the point of sacrificing a lot and living without love. As Seraphina gracefully walked away, a sharp pain suddenly hit aggressively on my chest. Was this how other Alphas live their lives, living to please others? Sacrificing my heart desires, what matters to me just to belong to a high rank in power and politics? My mind took me back to a memory lane of how I rejected Liora, the expression on her beautiful face, even the way my own heart had failed me. My heart had shattered into pieces that instant the word "rejection" came out of my mouth. I assumed that was the only right thing to do, placing the needs of my pack above anything. But right now, I am but a few steps away from being trapped in a loveless marriage forever. Seraphina was the choice of my pack for me, she's everything they ever wanted. Though very strong, and maybe a Luna to other Alphas, she's only a strategic alliance to me. She was nothing close to the woman I wanted. She wasn't my beautiful Liora. I knew I couldn't back off now, at least for the sake of my pack, to please my family; I would have to live with this mistake forever. As the engagement day approached, I kept wondering if it was too late to amend my wrongs, but there was no one to confide in. I noticed Liora was missing for days, and Mira had no idea of her way of it. Would Liora, my love, ever look at me again and forgive me? And worst of all, will I have the courage to forgive myself? My attention returned to the balcony, as I stared blankly at the forest before me. What if Liora is out there training as she always does? Why am I drawn to her helplessly every day? The bond forming in my heart for her is weighing me down, and I feel helpless without her presence. Or what if she's not safe wherever she goes? What if she couldn't handle the rejection well but decided to hurt herself? No, she's a strong lady, rejection can't break her resolve to succeed. I need to do something immediately to get her back, at least to safety, and ask for her forgiveness. She may have lost interest in marrying me, but she can forgive me because of her beautiful soul. I don't want to live in guilt all through my life. I pray she finds someone worthy of her love, someone who will stand for her, both in good times and bad times. I was still thinking and strategizing on how to reach her quietly without anyone noticing my intentions or stirring up thoughts from Seraphina, knowing how ambitious she could be when a guard came bearing another message from the council. "Long live the Alpha," he had said, but I didn't respond to his greetings as my mind was occupied with only thoughts of Liora.