Chapter Fifty-Three
It was early the morning after the kiss, I was sat in my bedroom getting ready. I was trying to take as long as I could, I wanted to avoid Austin for as long as I could. As I sat looking at myself in the mirror, memories of last night fill my head.
*flashback*
We continue to kiss for a few long moments, it was as though my brain just didn't know how to function in that moment. But after awhile, it starts to work and I'm snapped from the moment. I push on Austin's chest making him pull away, where his shocked face looked back at me.
'This can't happen" I say repeating what I said in the room, I push past him and start to make my way towards my own bedroom.
'You know what just happened felt right, more than it does with Roman" Austin says following behind me, of course he wouldn't just allow me to walk off!
'You have no idea how I feel!" I shout still trying to make it to my bedroom, but Austin was hot on my tail.
'Everyone can see that you're not happy with Roman, but you know when you're around me, you're allowed to laugh and enjoy your life!" He says as I finally reach my bedroom door, but he couldn't have been more wrong with what he's saying.
'No Austin, that's your fantasy not mine!" I shout opening up my door but he stops me from closing it, why can't he just leave me alone?!
'You can pretend all you want, but you know that you aren't even half as happy with Roman than you are with me! You're too comfortable with Roman, but you know if you left him and came with me you'd be so much happier" he says which was the thing that made the penny drop, now I know why he's doing this!
'Of course you would say that, now that Roman is gone you see your chance again" I laugh turning around to look at him, he just shakes his head at me not happy that I said that. 'That will all change when Roman comes back" I say shaking my own head at him, he said all this when Roman was away before this point.
'If Roman comes back" he says trying to correct me, but he didn't know what I knew.
'That's where you're wrong because I know Roman is coming back soon" I say shaking my head at how annoying he was being right now!
'You don't know that for sure and why would you even want him back, after everything he could have done?!" He shouts really not seeing my point, but if he knew what I knew he would.
'Yeah you wouldn't understand" I say taking ahold of my door to close it, I really didn't have time or patience to have this conversation with him right now.
'Why do you always like to defend that man?! You'd be so much better without that man in your life!" He shouts still not getting it, but I finally shake my head at him annoyed that he wasn't getting my point.
'Because I'm pregnant okay!" I shout finally giving into telling him, his face just holds shock as that sentence leaves my lips. 'I need Roman because I know that won't be able to do this on my own! But look I knew it, as soon as you saw there would be some responsibility in being with me you'll lose interest" I say shaking my head with a smile, before he could reply I close the door on his face.
*end of flashback*
As I stand in my full length mirror, my eyes keep dropping down to my stomach. I still can't believe that I'm really pregnant, it definitely was not planned! But that doesn't mean that I'm angry or sad that it's happened, over the days I have known I started to get excited. I found out a few days ago, the day before the whole town exploding, I didn't even have time to tell Roman about it before he got took away!
While I was looking at myself, I realise that I can't avoid Austin forever. With a little nervous look at the door, I make my way over slowly opening it up. As I walk towards the living room, I see him standing in the kitchen drinking his cup of coffee. He looks up where we soon lock eyes, I knew he was shocked that I had even came out of the bedroom. He went to open his mouth but I shake my head, I didn't need to know what he thought.
'I don't want to talk about it" I tell him walking over to the kitchen to get a drink, I'm not going to lie and say I haven't been more tired recently.
'With what the topic is about, we don't have any other choice but to talk about it" he tells me turning so he was behind me, I just sigh knowing what he was saying was true.
'The situation has nothing to do with you, so no we don't" I say not daring to turn around, I know if I looked in his eyes my opinion would change.
'It has everything to do with me when the person I have loved ever since I laid eyes on her, tells me she's pregnant when the father is locked up somewhere" he says which makes me freeze in place, I really wasn't expecting him to say that.
I place my cup on the counter sighing, I have thought over and over again what I'm going to do now Roman is away. But also, if I want this with him.
'And for the record, last night you couldn't have been more wrong" he says which did confuse me, we said and did a lot last night, he's going to have to be more specific.
I turn around to look at him sending him a confused look, I didn't have a clue what he meant and he knew that. He takes a step towards me, the gap between us growing smaller.
'You told me now that I know you're pregnant, I wouldn't want to know, but that will never be true. You won't even be able to guess how much I truly love you Payton, throughout the years and everything that has happened, those feelings have only gotten stronger" he tells me which did make me look up at him again, I wanted to see if he was telling the truth in what he was saying. 'Now I know there's going to be a mini you running around, that is going to be even more amazing" he smiles sounding rather excited, but I shake my head looking down slightly.
'No, I know you're only saying that because you're feeling pity towards me due to the father not being here" I say trying my hardest to push him away, but I knew what I was saying was more than likely not true.
'Once again, that is far from being true, I want to be with you and have you in my future no matter what happens. Even though that baby growing inside of you isn't mine, I will treat them like they are and look after and protect both you and the baby with every fibre of my being" he says whilst slowly placing his hand on my stomach, I know he was doing it slowly just in case I pull away, but I didn't.
'Roman is going to come back and you saying all this will only mess with my feelings" I say tears pricking my eyes as I thought about it, I've been avoiding that part of it since I found out.
'As I keep saying we don't know if he's going to come back and look, you're standing there now telling me I'm trying to mess with your feelings, but I can only do that if you're feeling the feelings you think I'm messing with" he tells me looking down at me, but I couldn't help but believe every word he was saying as the truth.
'You're right, I'm starting to have some doubts about mine and Roman's relationship. But now I'm pregnant with his baby, I don't have any other choice but to stay with him" I say looking up as the tears roll down my cheeks, finally saying it out loud only confirmed the feelings I was getting.
'Of course you have a choice, even though it's his baby you deserve to still be happy. Roman is locked up somewhere now, which has given you the opportunity to leave him" he says acting like it was so easy, but I could see how difficult it could really be.
'Roman isn't going to be gone forever" I tell him which he nods to, how angry would Roman be if he got out and found out what happened with me and Austin?!
'When he finally does get out, we can tell him together" he tells me moving his other hand to hold mine, while I start to go over all the scenarios in my head.
'But I can't just leave Roman in a blink of an eye like you want me to" I say just letting him know how much time it would take, Roman and I have been together for years now.
'I don't expect you to do anything, but when you have made the decision about who you want to be with, just know that I will stand by you no matter what" he says which was something that did worry me, I wonder what Roman would react like?
I look into his eyes and I knew right then, he was telling me the truth with every word he was saying. Before I could think anymore or he could utter another word, I lean up and crash my lips onto his.