Chapter 90

Looking down, his wretched heart threw him into a desolation where thinking straight was no longer possible, the pain had stolen his cognition. Petrified, I was on the ground, holding the hem of my dress weakly, 'I am sorry, Dariel, I am so sorry… I don't know how it happened, please forgive me. I remember nothing, believe me." I whispered desperately. 'There is nothing left to believe. You have shattered the pride I held in you." He growled, glaring at me. Blending the sound of my sobs with his piercing ones, I gradually brought my hand to him but he slapped it away. 'Don't touch me!" 'Dariel, please." I cried, curling my hand in a fist when he rejected me while emitting sobs that were reaching my ears like destructive screams. 'I did everything for you and you…" He cried, wiping his tears with his sleeves with a rapid breath but nothing fixed his anguish. Lowered my gaze in anguish, I was flabbergasted at how low I stoop. I decline to believe I would do this to my Dariel but how could I prove to him that I didn't cheat when I didn't know myself what exactly happened. Disheartened at my lack of explanation and cries, Dariel forced his sobs to halt and rose from the bed. I looked up at his assertive and harsh form. He looked down at me for the next few seconds and enunciated what razed my home and my heart. 'You have disappointed me, Saafia." 'Dariel, please… Dariel, please!" Getting up immediately, I tried calling him but throwing me wrathfully on the bed, he gave me a death-stare, pointing his finger at me to not move. Shaking, I catched the sheets, terrified at his level of fury. At this moment, anything I would do or say would result in my disadvantage. He was too devastated to listen to anything. Seeing me like this ravaged the dream, the home, the emotions, the trust, everything he connected with me was destroyed in a single moment. 'Dariel…" Not listening to my wails anymore. With a broken and disappointed heart, his steps retreated, leaving me all alone in the room with pure agony to think- What have I done?! How could I do this or… did I do it in the first place?! How the fuck was I supposed to prove my innocence!? I was in the room, left all alone with muted sobs and an agonizing heart. I didn't know how that happened but cursing where the situation left me, I didn't know what to say. I was sure I fainted then how could that happen? Unless… Helder did it deliberately? 'Shit, shit," Gritting my teeth, I pulled my hair in frustration. Losing my breaths as my head began to throb from the distress which abruptly fell on my head. 'Dammit!" I growled, releasing a weak tear while perceiving what to do that could convince Dariel of my innocence. As I was struggling with my thoughts, Dariel returned in the evening. Whimpering, I dashed to his side, holding his arm weakly, pulling him towards my body as he kept a stoic and unbothered expression on his face. 'Dariel, listen to me please-" 'Keep our private talks behind the door." He glared at me, ripping himself from me and set his collar. 'Dariel," I called him, loosening my shoulders from the amount of distress. Looking down sadly, I merely followed him as we went to our room. I was about to hold him gently but he roughly grabbed my arm, causing me to wince and pushed me to the front to confront me strictly. 'How the fuck can you do this to me, Saafia?" He growled in a whisper, the betrayal still flashing in his eyes. 'I swear, I don't know anything about it." I made a crying face, holding his collar desperately, endeavoring to convince him. 'Then tell me what happened. Did he not take you to our room?" He asked strictly, holding my wrists to rip me away from his stoic posture. 'Yes, he did because I fainted! I don't remember anything!" I whisper-yelled, on the verge of crying as a few tears blurred my vision from sorrow. My chest clenched in pain, I wanted to gain his trust but the desolated sensations had purloined it. 'Where were the servants?" He continued to ask coldly. Dejection coated me as I began to tell him what happened, 'It was night… They went to their quarters. Jared… he came. I met him then Sarah had a night duty. She left too. Helder made drinks for us after that… I… felt dizzy, he held me and.." Pausing, I could see my explanation only deepened his discontent. How jaw clenched, separating himself from my closeness and rested his hands in his pocket dominantly 'And then you don't remember what happened afterwards." He frowned. 'Yes, but-" I nodded in shame but then opened my mouth to explain. Not allowing me, he pointed his finger strictly at me, restricting my voice around my throat by his sudden authority. 'Enough, Saafia. I don't want to hear anything. How could you do this? Were you that desperate for him?" 'What? No-" 'I have seen how charmed you were, how you laughed with him, talked sweetly with him. You were enticed by him the second he came, right? I can't make you laugh that way after all huh?" He snarled, connecting one topic wrongly with the other. I didn't do this out of any enticement. 'What? No, Dariel, please! You are getting everything wrong! I was only playing around to get you jealous. Nothing else! He means nothing to me." I sobbed, clinging onto him hopelessly, dying to surge my emotions to his core. He scowled, 'You have shown that to me explicitly." 'Dariel, you don't believe me?" 'I want to believe you but how can I when you are saying he took you to our room?" A painful whisper was liberated from his lips, the sight of finding me with him had ravaged him from inside. 'Please…" 'It's breaking my heart, Saafia. I loved you so madly, I became a better man for you, I learned to forgive, to express happiness, you- you gave me a world of dreams… Only to shatter it in the end!" His voice broke, pushing his hair behind with an inexplicable amount of throbbing displayed in his composure. 'Veronica was always self-centered, I expected disloyalty from her but you, my love, you were my pride."