Gone Again

'Hey Darius, have you seen Sebastian? I just got here and I can't find him" 'Oh he didn't tell you?" 'Tell her what?" Abby asks him 'He's going to be late, just figuring stuff at home" 'At home? Not at Bianca's again?" Abby says 'Abby" I warn 'What? It's true, every time you need him, he's not there because of that bitch" 'No babe, he's at home, I'm sure of it. But he kept repeating that if you need him, you'll call. He told me that, so, yeah. Maybe later he'd go here" 'Okay, thanks." I say then the bell rung, it's time for class, but he was still nowhere to be seen. I want to call him but I decided against that idea. I don't want to disturb anything. He's at home We're okay last night. He didn't tell me anything, maybe last minute then? Problem at his house? His dad is okay with everything, what could possibly be the problem? Then I froze 'Bianca" I whisper to myself 'Hey, Kristen!" Darius shouts 'oh hey!" 'Are you okay You look pale? Should I call Sebastian?" he asks I shake my head 'I need somewhere to be, whats up?" 'Oh, Abby is in the bathroom and she asked me to borrow your notes" he said I scanned my bag 'Here it is" 'Thanks. Uhm, are you sure you're okay?" he asks again 'Yeah. Gotta go!" I say and ran away I got myself in an empty hallway. I stop and steadied myself for a bit. My chest tightens. "Breathe Kristen. breathe. you can do this" I took deep breaths and encourage myself to just relax and try to breathe normally but it wouldn't subside. The pain just keeps increasing. I need help. I was about to call Ian but then I remembered he is out of town. So, I called Sebastian. Since he is my boyfriend he has the right to know. I dialed Sebastian. It was ringing but he wouldn't pick up, it keeps ending. I can't stand the pain anymore. I need someone. I dropped onto my knees. Kyle. one ring and he answered immediately. "Whats up?" his normal cheery voice came in "Kyle..." I barely whisper "I n--need help. School---hallway" I tell him, he didn't answer but the call ended Not a minute passed, he was there. "Kyle" I say and smiled weakly. His eyes widen and carried me immediately to his car. "I'll call your dad" he says but I stop him and shake my head "Please...." I took a deep breath "no. only you" I manage to say and he only nods as he drove fast When we reached the hospital, my doctor helped me. She gave me something to lessen the pain. I feel a little tired. after that. I fell into a deep slumber. ----- I woke up with the smell of the hospital. I hated it. I always did. I look around and see Kyle staring at me. "Thanks" I tell him and helped me sit up "I know." he says "Please don't tell anyone" I tell him and he sighed "Okay. but who else knows? Why is Sebastian not here with you? does he know?" I shake my head. "I called him but he is not answering. Ian knows. The only one but now there's you.." "I tried knowing where he was and..." he stops and look at me "And what?" "He was at Bianca's." he continues "Oh uhm, he told me that" I say lying, I didn't know that Brushing off the jealousy that was riling up. We fought about her but he always say there's nothing between them anymore. So, I trust him. I'll always will. "Don't hurt yourself like this Kristen. I know you feel something weird about it" "Enough Kyle. What time can I get out?" I ask He only sighed and said "Your doctor told me that you need to go home as soon as possible to not raise any suspicion to anyone. So, you can go home now. You just have to go to her and meds will be given and advices." he says I nod. I prepared myself for release and I went to her. She prescribed same medicines and same advices. Which I always follow. Kyle brought me home he helped me out. He guided me in but when we were almost at my door, Sebastian turned Kyle around and punched him "Sebastian!" I shout and go to Kyle "Didn't I tell you to stop being with him? He likes you for godsakes!" He shouts at me. I avoided his eyes and look at Kyle pleading not to tell him "She fucking called you for help!" Kyle blurted out "I didn't get any! You're lying to me!" "Oh really? Then why didn't she know you were at Bianca's?" he saw through my lies "You tell her to stay away from me but did you ever hear her complain about Bianca? Who's apparently still loves you?" "Thats different! And I can't just abandon her!" Sebastian says 'How is our relationship different from yours? I can't just abandon her either!" Kyle shouts at him I had enough. So, I stood up and looked at him. "You can't abandon her, so you abandon me?" I ask hurt "You know it's not like that!" he shouts I nod as tears threatening my eyes. "I needed help Sebastian. I called you. When you didn't pick up I called him. It wasn't even a minute passed he answered my call and came to me. you were supposed to be that person" I feel my voice cracking "You didn't call Kristen. what are you saying?" his voice softens as he tries to touch me "I did. Maybe Bianca was holding your phone and she ended and deleted my calls. I called you three times. Three fucking times Sebastian" "She's not like that. She wouldn't do that" he tells me "Okay. If you ever change your mind and believe your girlfriend. I'll be just inside my house waiting but for now I need rest, I need you both out. Please" I tell them and walked inside I hear him call for my name but I didn't open the door. He kept banging it but I didn't budge. I went upstairs and lock my room door. I called Ian. when he answered. "I was about to call you. I heard what happened and I'm coming back. Is Kyle still there?" he asks "He left. I'm alone now. I'll be waiting for you to come back brother. I'm just going to rest" I say Okay wait for me there. I'll be home sis, hang in there for a while" he tells me and I nod even though he can't see me. Later that day, I felt someone moving around me. "Kristen" a whisper came I slowly open my eyes and saw Ian beside me. "How are you feeling?" he asks. "Doing good" I answer and close my eyes again "We should really tell dad" He says. I didn't answer. I just know it wasn't the right time yet. I just know. --------- The next day, I went to school even though Ian forbids me too. Abby was the first one to ask me. 'Darius told me you weren't looking okay yesterday? Are you okay?" she asks 'I'm fine Abby. Let's go to the office now" 'Sebastian was looking for you, are you sure you want to go straight---" I cut her off 'Yes" She simply nodded and we went to the office. I went straight for our adviser because I knew something was going to happen and I need them to prepare for it. 'I was looking for you. Why did you go there?" Abby asks 'I just needed to discuss something. He asked me to show you some paper works you need to start knowing" She looked at me confused 'Why?" 'I don't know, just he said, you need to know them" 'Okay then. Let's go" Many hours had passed and she learned everything she needs to. Then Darius came, together with Sebastian. 'So, uhm, we'll leave you two be" Darius says 'What why?" Abby asks and was reluctant to leave but she was being dragged by Darius. Then later on, we are alone in this small room, that seems so big with him in here. He's so near yet so far. 'You were looking for me Mr. Harris?" I asked as I stare at him 'We're back at this again? Kristen, I'm so so---" I cut him off 'If you're just going to say sorry and promise some things you can't even keep then just don't" I say 'Kristen, Kitten. Please just listen to me first" 'I've been listening to you ever since we started dating. I disregarded my thoughts just to listen to you. When are you going to listen to me?" I say and he didn't talk 'You know what's scares me the most, Sebastian? I know someone will always be prettier than me, smarter and can love you more. Some will always be more perfect in your eyes, and instead of you, making me realize that I am enough…" I pause as I can't stop my tears from flowing 'You make me feel worthless" I stared at him, as he just stood there staring at me, I swallowed a lump in throat that I felt was forming. 'I will never be good enough for you to choose me. No matter how hard I fucking try, you were always going to choose her twenty fucking times over…But I know that, and I have accepted that now" I smiled at him despite the pain I was feeling. 'So, that's it? You're not going to let me explain?" he asks sounding hurt 'If you think this is it then this is the end. I have no choice to let you go. But I thank you for making me happy, for taking away my fears. You erased my fears and started a new one" 'I don't wanna lose you" he says 'I always say, I don't want to lose you either but I guess, we weren't meant to be" 'One more chance please. The next time you call for me, I will answer. No promises this time, I will do it" he begs and got down on his knees 'Just let me be alone. I will think of this. But one more call and you don't answer. I'll assume this is it" I say leaving him there on his knees, while crying.