Not Care

Sebastian's POV I planned to visit my mother and sister's grave today, I would like to surprise them, I'm visiting for the first time in a year. But instead, I was the one who was surprised. I was happy to see Kristen there but then I heard it all. It was my fault. My mom went out to look for me. 'So, it was my fault" They both turn around, dropping the flowers I brought. 'Son---" 'I heard you, it's my fault" I tell him my voice breaking 'No, it wasn't. It was mine. I didn't pay attention to her" My dad says 'It's my fault' I whisper to myself again 'Son, it wasn't----" I can't listen to this anymore, I hated him for no reason at all, I blamed him for the accident even though it was my fault 'Ahhhh" I shout kicking my car, pulling my hair, slapping myself. 'Sebastian" I hear Kristen says 'Don't" 'It wasn't your fault. It was nobody's fault. You said you heard everything. Then you also heard what I said. What happened was inevitable, nobody can't stop that from happening" She says, but she doesn't have to convince me, it's really my fault 'Stop hurting yourself!" She shouts I stop and turn around. What she said triggered me. 'Stop hurting myself" he repeats 'You don't want me to hurt myself, but you're hurting me too. Should I tell you to stop that too? Will you stop hurting me too?" I ask, because if she tells me she would then I would also stop. 'I----" I shake my head, she stuttered 'I hurt you, my sister, my mom. I hurt everyone. It was always my fault and I was always too stupid to see that." I hurt everyone who loves me, maybe it's for the best to let her go before I could hurt her more 'Sebastian---" I cut her off 'No, it's true. Maybe you're right. I need to stay away from you. Don't worry, I will from now on." I chuckled sarcastically as tears streamed down my face 'Sebastian, it's not like that, it's just…we can't be together anymore. I'm tired of this over and over again" finally she said it. 'Finally, the truth came out" I say as I run my fingers through my hair frustrated 'You're tired of me just like everyone else" 'Sebastian, please listen to me and----" 'Just stop. You want me gone? You want me to stay away from you? Then fine, I will. Goodluck with your life from now on, I wish you all the best. Goodbye Kristen" She wants me gone then so beat it, I went in my car and drove off I went home and just went to my room. I didn't know why I came here instead of grandma's house but I brought myself here. I threw everything I could. Picture frames, glasses anything I could break in my room. No one bothered me all through that but I can feel them in-front of my door. I hear their voices talking about how worried they are for me. Then I heard my dad's voice. 'Sebastian, please open the door" he pleads softly 'Go away, I don't need any of you!" I shout 'Sebastian please. Stop that, it won't get you anywhere. I don't want to lose you too" he says It made me even guiltier than I am right now. I hated him for nothing at all, it was fault that happened. 'How could you even say that to me? This is all my fault. You could've blame it all on me but instead you let me blame you? How could you make me feel guilty right now" I say as my voice breaks and tears just doesn't stop flowing 'It wasn't your fault. It was mine, if only I could've paid attention to you, your sister and your mom, this wouldn't have happened. I could've saved her" he said I didn't talk just sat on the floor with my back against the bed. 'I don't blame you for anything. If I did, then I would've lost you too. I already lost you in some ways, and I don't want to lose anything again, I'm not ready for it. I haven't been the best father to you but everyday, I am trying to make it up to you." He pauses and chuckled 'I thought letting you shout at me or leave me alone would make everything better but it didn't, it made things worse" He took a deep breath 'The truth will always come out, that I know of. Even though the truth hurts, it will bring more pain hiding it" He said, and it did hurt. Maybe this was what Kristen felt before. She felt so betrayed and just wanted to disappear. I slowly got up and open the door. 'Dad" I say, he didn't talk just went to hug me. 'I'm sorry for hiding this to you, I thought it would make everything better" 'I'm sorry for blaming you. For all the pain I caused. Now I understand. Let me make it up to you" I say and he lets me go 'You're staying here with me?" he asks 'Yes, and grandma said she wanted to sell her house and I think it would also be the best if we would" I say and smiled He nods and look over at my room. 'I think it's better to stay in the guest room for a while" he says and I chuckled 'Yeah" And we went to the guestroom. There was this silence between us then he finally said 'What about Kristen?" he asks 'You know, she's a nice girl. I really do like her influence on you" 'I'm letting her go" 'What? Why?" 'She doesn't want me anymore. I think it's best if I did. Don't get me wrong, I do love her with all my heart but if my love just keeps on hurting her then I don't want that. She's been through a lot because of me and I think it's time I realized that it's all over now" He nods. 'Okay, whatever you decide on, I'll support you on that" and patted my back 'Thanks dad" I say After that he told me to rest for school tomorrow and he left me alone. Seeing her tomorrow would be hard but if avoiding her from now on would help then I would do that. Besides, it's almost graduation, how hard can it be, right? ------------ Morning came and I had breakfast with my dad. Only now I noticed we have the same traits and habits. We're both grumpy in the morning who chooses silence. And how he runs his fingers through his hair when frustrated. My morning went great. Now, it was time for school. I can do this. I went to my classes and chemistry was interesting if I paid I little attention to it before. 'Sebastian!" Darius shouts 'Hey man. Where's your annoying girlfriend?" I ask jokingly 'She's not annoying. But she's busy going around with Kristen not here, it's hard" I wanted to ask why she wasn't around but moving on with her should start now. 'Oh. Okay, should we have lunch then?" I ask 'You're not going to ask where or what happened to Kristen?" he asks me and I shake my head 'Good because I don't know either" he says and I chuckled 'Come on" I say and we both went to the cafeteria --- 'So, you're saying, you don't want her anymore?" Darius asks 'I still do but I'm moving on. She doesn't want me, so I am accepting defeat. Besides, she told me she's tired of me, so yeah" 'Wow, where is Sebastian? The real Sebastian" he says and I chuckled and shake my head Then Abby came. Dropping her ass down beside Darius. 'Today was so tiring!" She says 'Oh hey Sebastian" 'Babe, guess what, he just told me, he's moving on" Darius says 'Then I won the bet but Really?" she asks looking at me 'Yeah. I need to do that now" I say 'Are you sure?" she asks again 'Yes" I chuckled and they both looked at each other 'Well, I still have classes to attend to, I'll be on my way" I stood up and left them there I went to my locker and drop some things off. Then Bianca came. 'Sebastian" she says 'What now?" I ask irritated 'Can you just listen to me?" she says 'I listened to you before and look where it got me" I say turning to look at her 'You need to know something. This is serious"' she says 'If it's about you or Kristen or anything, I don't want to listen to you. Better yet, don't talk to me" I say, slamming my locker and walked away from her I had a good start then it started to get annoying all of a sudden. Can this day be more irritating?