Sebastian's Chapter 20

Sebastian's POV It's raining again. I really wish I could talk to her right now but I have to clear something with Bianca first. When I found her on the locker area sitting on a bench. I approached her. 'I want you to tell me the truth. Did you ever played with my phone and ended or deleted calls?" I ask directly 'What? Why would I do that?" She says 'I don't know. Just tell me the truth Bianca" 'I would never do that. Look Sebastian, I called you here because I need you again. If you're just going to accuse me of something then maybe I should just go home" she says and I sighed and sat beside her. 'I'm sorry, it's just a have a lot in my mind lately. Anyway, what's the problem?" I ask her softly, the she started crying and hugged me. I softly caressed her head. 'it's okay" I whisper and she cried louder. Then I hear a gasped. I turn to look and it was Kristen. My eyes widen. 'It's not what it looks like" Bianca says wiping her tears 'I think, its exactly what it looks like" Kristen says and left, but I followed her. I pull her towards me but she pushed me. 'I called you so many times, I was happy when you answered with a text message. I thought, Maybe he really wanted to change then I got here and see this, I think you made a choice" 'What are you saying? You didn't call nor did I ever text you. Look, this is not what it looks like" 'I called you so many times and then you sent me a message" then she fish out her phone and showed the message. It was my number saying she should go here and we'll talk but I never did text her. I was planning on going to her house to apologize. "then she did" Kristen says as she points Bianca who was standing not so far away hugging herself. "Impossible. She wouldn't set me up like that" She wouldn't right? But who would do that? I have my phone in my pocket the entire time. "I guess they were right" she whispers and I don't know what she was talking about. "what do you mean?" I ask as I try to reach her but she backs away, and that hurt like shit. "you weren't really over her. Thats why, these past few months you never said you love me" What? I do love her, what is she saying? Is she crazy? "Do you hear yourself right now?!" I asked getting irritated " Are you happy now? are you happy breaking me into pieces? I fell for you, Even though I know I shouldn't have." She sobs, and I hate it. I hate to see her this way. I just want her smiling and laughing with me. I'm not used to seeing her like this. 'What? I love you Kristen for goodness sake. I was just here because I needed to make things clear" I told her, it's true, I just wanted to ask Bianca about the text when she called out for me. 'When? Where? How?" 'What do you mean?" 'Where is this love you're saying? I can't feel it anymore. When do you love me? When it's convenient for you? How do you even know you love me, I don't even know what love is?" I just stood there as I don't know what to say it's like my lips are glued. But I knew I was hurting her. She smiled 'Just....nevermind I said that." She turns away and I run my fingers through my hair. Then she looks back, parted her lips, but I guess she decided against what she was about to do or say. She shakes her head and close her eyes as she took a deep breath, even with those actions, it mesmerizes me. When she opens her beautiful brown eyes, our eyes met. She gave me a faint smile and turned away. My feet are like stuck on the ground, no matter how hard I try to move I just couldn't I was like frozen. But then I felt something weird. It was like this would be the last time I would be seeing her. Then she left, my heart aches as I stare the car that drives away. Then few minutes later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. 'Bianca" I say 'It's okay. I'm here for you." As of now, I couldn't process anything in my head. All in my head was just me losing someone I really love and care about. 'I'll take you home" I tell her When I sent her home, I left immediately and went to Grandma's house. 'Grandma. I think I messed up" I say as I drop myself on the couch 'You did. The first time you had a fight, she told me you don't believe what she was saying, from the moment I knew that would be your problem" she says 'You know your grandpa and I lasted so long because we trusted each other and believed in our relationship. Girls instincts are always right" she continues 'How would I fix this? I don't want to lose her" 'Then try and tell her that, if it doesn't work. Leave her be to think and talk to her in another day. I stayed quiet and ran towards the door. I went to her house and knock. She opens it and the first thing I saw was her eyes, that was once full of happiness, were now as cold as ice. "What are you doing here?" she asks in a cold voice "I want us to talk" I tell her almost pleading "about what?" she says as she hugs herself. "You need to stop doubting me, doubting her. It's not always what it seems. I asked her about the text and she didn't know. She knows nothing about it" well, my mouth betrayed me, it wasn't supposed to be that "Name one person who's guilty and admitted their mistakes. Even I don't admit my mistakes" "Just....Just trust me on this. You don't know her like I do" I say and again, wrong words Sebastian. You're losing her "This is the fifth time you try and save her! She's a cunning bitch! Can't you see that?!" then anger filled me too. "I have known her for years Kristen! How do you expect me to..." She cuts me off "to believe me." She nods "right, you've met me like months ago, you told me you love me and all but no matter what I tell you won't believe me" It was the words that was about to come out. But she's right. I never believed in her. "It's not like that! how many times do I have to tell you that I love you but every time we fight about this or about her, you always say the same things!" I say as I want to get out of this situation and bring her to my arms again, but every time I answer her, it's just, wrong things come out from my mouth "What if I tell you I'm dying, Sebastian? would you believe me?" she asks, what the, as if I'll let her die. I run my fingers through my hair as I am getting frustrated by our conversation. "Stop being ridiculous Kristen. You're trying to make things difficult for me it's not going to work" "Look, isn't it enough that you trust me? you trust me. right?" I ask She smiled " I do. but if trusting you means I'm the one who's delusional or the liar here then I don't think this is going to work out. I'm sorry Sebastian. Trust is for two people who loves each other" she pauses, "But I don't think you love me enough to believe me" "Kristen, can we please talk about this at least?" I begged "We talked about this so many times and that times, never once you believe me. You do this many times, we do these many times. Go home Sebastian. I don't wanna see you anymore" That broke my heart into a million pieces. She doesn't want me anymore. I made a huge mistake. I shouldn't have told her anything, I should have just apologize. "Kristen please you know I can't live without you" "You should've thought of that before killing me little by little with your words that kept defending your so-called friend" Then I froze. I didn't even realize I was killing her little by little. With that she closes the door. I regain myself again and knock on her door but still nothing. I was now crying my heart out. But she never opened the door. I went home after waiting for a few more hours hoping she would open the door but she didn't. I went to my dad's place. And locked myself in my room. I am left alone, thinking what the hell went wrong. We were so happy then somethings happened, we fight a lot lately but that's it, never there was a time, I got tired of her. Even when the fighting begun. I got tired of what she was accusing Bianca but never did I thought of breaking up with her. I got tired so many times, but I wooed her. I am responsible for that. As a Man, I should be the on to blame, even though I get tired, I have no right to leave her. And I never got tired of her, all I wanted was to be with her and love her.