56- Concealed Reality

With her heart pounding hard along with those mystifying thoughts which are affecting her mind badly, Red was coming back to her home. Her mind was lost in fretful thoughts she was trying to push back but couldn't, lost in the mist where the image of Erich began to clear up and it was too much for her to hold. Red sighed, lost in her thoughts about Erich and failed to notice Erich who was now in his senses and the usual self who was hopelessly in love with her. "Oh, Red you're back." He said, trailing off, while scanning her stressed form. "How was your show?" He asked nonchalantly. How could you still love me after what I did to you? Red thought and curled her lips upward but not in a smile. "Yeah, it was fine." He smiled, knowing his heart wants it, her. "Oh, okay." "Uh, Erich." She called him. "Hmm?" "I cooked dinner, freshen up." She said, "Why did you bother? You must be tired from the trip." He said, concerned. "No, I am fine." She said but then she noticed a bruise on his cheek, red and slightly swollen, "Did you get into a fight?" Red asked, taking a step closer. "Your cheek." Erich looked away and took a step back, "I am fine." He mumbled. "It's nothing." He shrugged it off and left for their room to freshen up as Red fidgeted her fingers, trying to calm herself and muster courage to know the truth concealed from her and face who he truly is. She has to do it. Under an awkward atmosphere, they had their dinner in silence, protest who should break the line of unspoken ravage as Erich decided to break it and began to say after clearing his throat and began to say, "Ahm.. Listen Red... I.. um... I am sorry for whatever I have said. My intentions were not to hurt or startle you and there's no need for you to unwillingly bound yourself with me." And once again you chose pain. Red thought, averting her gaze with strange sensations, curling her hands in fist. "You are free to liberate yourself from-" Red cut him off, "And what if I want to give us a chance?" She asked hopelessly. Erich's lips curved upward sadly as he whispered, "I don't need a chance now. I am fine with the leftover time." "But you confessed your love for me." Red reasoned. "Because you also confessed you hate. There's no meaning in this bond now." "Why not!?" Red asked angrily, slamming her hands on the table. Erich raised an eyebrow, perplexed by her action. "What happened?" He asked. "It was you, isn't it?" "Who?" "The one who gave me a rose for the whole six months at the University, isn't it?" Red hissed, standing up. Shocked, Erich replied, "W-What are you saying?" Red growled and took out both notes, "Don't lie. Both handwriting are the same. It was you who gave me a rose everyday. Why did you stop?" "Listen Red, writing doesn't prove-" Erich tried to deny it, fearing what she would call him if the truth came to surface. But Red cut him off. "Stop it Erich! I want to know when you left California just to stay away from me then how come you know everything about me!?" Red shouted as a tear pricked in her eye. She relaxed her shoulders, lowering her head and asked depressingly, "Why when you try to drift from me, how do you get closer? Why can't you accept the fact you love me?" Erich lowered his head and replied in a croaked voice, "B-Because you said it yourself... People like me will become stalkers in the future. That I am a coward..." He raised his agonizing gaze and raised his voice, "You said it; I hope I don't see his face. Ever! You hated me and because of that fear, I ran away. Afraid that if we met, you will consider me a stalker and hold abhor for me. I was so scared." He sniffed, trying not to cry and continued desperately, "Your talks made me realize Red what I feel for you is not love, just an obsession. That I don't love you, your words showed me this reality. How can I come to you when you consider my emotions as nothing?" He asked the last sentence in a hoarse voice as a tear rolled down his cheek. Red, who felt as the ground beneath her feet cracked up with her mind immersing in the dark and bottomless tunnels of turmoils, remained motionless, horrified and wallowed in guilt. Swallowing hard, without meeting his gaze, she asked in a faint voice. "Just because 'I' said it's not... love... you believe it... just on 'my' words.. You left everything..?" Erich put his hand over his mouth to muffle his cry and nodded, "What else could I do? You-" "Are you out of your mind!? The words I said unintentionally you etch them in your heart and hurt yourself for the next seven years!?" Red yelled, breathless, still trying to swallow his words. Erich also began to cry, "What else I was supposed to do!?" With a shaky breath, Red ran her hand in her hair, taking a step back as a few tears rolled down her cheek, reflecting the misery roaming her mind freely and poisoning her. "I said some words randomly.. And you believed them... and did this to yourself.. Do they mean this much to you?" She asked in a croaked whisper. "Your every word meant the whole world to me." He whispered back. Red pulled her hairs, suppressing the tears which threatened to fall, panting, "Erich.. you.. All because of me.. Because I said it's not love... you believed... I said don't come in front of me.. You.. left California." Red's voice came out broken, her heart in a swamp of penitence blended with devastation, trying not to cry. Red's efforts failed as a wail of pain escaped her lips and she began to cry out loud. "How could you!?... Just how could you take my meaningless words to the heart... and destroy yourself?!!.. You this condition is done by.. None other than me... I ask you WHY!?" She cried, holding her shirt with tears gleaming her face, the melody of uncertainty and abomination dispersed with its hum of destruction spreading everywhere. Erich gasped and began to say breathlessly between the sobs, "I.. I didn't get anything... Just your words.. Echoed in my mind... and I.. couldn't save myself. It was... it was-" Before he could continue, Red slapped Erich hard. The sound mixed with her cries while the tingling sensation of pain on his cheek did the same with her tears as she hugged him tightly, sobbing thunderingly in his arms. "Are you crazy!?" She shouted, holding his shirt, pulling him close as much as she could with her tears soaking his shirt. "Erich you never let me get near your sorrow... how could you!?" "I am sorry. I am so sorry, Erich. I never meant my words. Those were unintentional. I didn't mean my words... Why did you take my words so seriously?!" Tears rolling as the reminder of his lost love and incomprehensible suffering which for the first time dwelled within Red and tormented her and she couldn't do anything but to break into million pieces. Erich hugged her back, burying his face in her neck, tears drenching her neck, "What else I was supposed to do!?.. I lost my ability to think.. I loved you so much... I couldn't bear your hatred.. Even in falsehood, I was happy in my delusions... but Red.. Red.." His grip on her tightened as he began to cry out loud, "It hurt me too much! I was in so much pain!" He wept in a booming voice. The very walls of their hollow home witness the sight of despair where their hearts met. Red tried to calm herself a little and began to say, "Erich I swear.. I didn't mean my words.. In Fact... I kept your note with me in hope to meet you and apologize.. I never meant to break your heart. I am sorry. I am so sorry." They remained in each other's embrace, letting out the misery building in their heart like a volcano which erupted as the show of devastation. With intense grief, they cried their hearts out. After emptying their hearts and drying their eyes out of tears, they pulled away. Red sniffled and wiped her tears and made Erich sit back who couldn't even raise his eyes. She bend on the ground and held his hands, putting the back of his palm over her forehead, "Please forgive me." She whispered, closing her eyes. Erich held her hands and replied, "Me too. I had no intentions of being a stalker in your eyes. I swear I never stalked you, I did nothing. Please believe me, I only used to watch you from afar and give you a rose, I promise I didn't do anything more than this." He said hurriedly, hopelessly, staring deeply into her eyes. Red passed him a faint smile and kissed his hands, whispering. "I believe you. I also didn't want to break your heart but Erich.. if you were trying to run away then how do you end up knowing everything about me?" She asked in bewilderment. Erich gulped, knowing it's the time to tell Red everything. "Red, I might move on from you but..." "But what?" "I thought I would forget you after leaving you but.. She came into my life, told me everything about you, forced me to bear all this. The one who connected me to you.." Erich said in a low dolorous tone. "Who? Who made you go through all this, Erich?" Red softly asked, cursing the person who did this. With an uneven breath and intense stare, Erich spoke up, telling Red everything, shaking her whole world, "She, who is your best friend, my ex-girlfriend and shrink... April."