38- Heartfelt Emotions

A year passed in an instant as the moments Red and Lucifer spent together were now about to become a memory as they might leave a deep scar along with an etched memory in their mind. When the time grew near, Lucifer began to lose his grip while Red somehow kept herself together and now Red's flight tomorrow. She wanted to see Lucifer so her heart could burst and she tells him whatever is in her heart but Lucifer has locked himself in his room. Red came and knocked on the door, calling him, "Lucifer... I am going tomorrow." Their tones were broken, unable to speak nonchalantly as the heartbreak was clear in it with the anticipation of engraving untouched emotions in their hearts which were dying to get out. "I am going tomorrow." Red said in her sorrowful voice, falling on her knees while leaning on the wall. On the other side, Lucifer was sitting on the bed, resting his back on the bed while hugging his knees, making an almost crying face. "I know." He replied in a sufferable tone, from the other side. "Aren't you gonna come out and spend time with me?" She asked with her lips quivering. "I don't have enough courage." His voice dispersed in between. I know why. "Not even gonna drop me at the airport?" Red asked. "I can't do this." He gulped, trying to remain calm. "Not even this much?" Red insisted. "It will hurt me." Lucifer whispered to himself. "Okay.." Red sniffed, trying not to cry. "Anyways, I always say I will come to... meet you... You come as well." Her voice stopped in between to gain power to continue. 'Why is this unreasonable shackle pulling me away and increasing my pain? Why am I choosing this darkness and not opening up?' They thought. "Of course." Lucifer said with an agonizing smile. "I will attend... your first show." "You better be sure." Red spoke with the same smile. "I will never forget this year." Red said, tightening her grip around her. "Me too. I will never forget you." Lucifer responded, hiding his face in his knees, trying not to cry. "Lucifer. Can I tell you something?" Red asked, putting her hand over her mouth to muffle her cries which were overflowing, reflecting her grief. A tear fell from his eye as well, "What?" "At the time of parting... don't keep things inside... Whatever it is in your heart... tell me." Tears rolled down her cheek followed by another, covering her mouth to conceal the sound which was about to reach Lucifer. Lucifer shut his lips, weeping silently, digging his nails in his arms. Bleeding with their pain, knowing both of them are fragmented, heart aching in indescribable anguish. ...Accepting to bow but waiting to be written in each other's fate... A tear fell simultaneously from their eyes as Lucifer, with extreme difficulty, replied, "You t-too!" "Please understand the language of my silence, I cannot explain its condition." Red said to herself with a flood of tears flowing from her eyes. For this heart which seeked redemption in your shade. Please stay. Lucifer swallowed the lump in his throat, speaking, "You know w-what I will miss the most a-about you?" "W-What?" She asked in a cracked voice. "T-the way you talked.. Like a non stop r-radio." Red laughed a little, "A-And I will miss your r-rudeness which I loved r-ruining. it" They both laughed a little, sniffling and wiping their tears which held no sign to stop. "Don't forget to post your hot p-pictures on Instagram. Girls w-will die for you." Red said. But I want you, Lucifer's heart wanted to scream that. "A-And you are already pretty. Y-You can get any guy." Why not you? Red wanted to ask but didn't. "I know." Lucifer grit his teeth, biting his hand to keep the voice of his cries restricted to the room. 'I wish I never tried to connect myself with your dream.' He thought. "Lucifer... Listen." Red called him, curling her lips upward with tears streaming down her face. He hummed and she said out of the blue, "I love you." Lucifer failed to grasp the depth of her words and considered it as those which were before. He might even think of them as the reality if she hadn't chuckled in the end which made him do the same, "S-Shut up." They remained like this, keeping their voice of misery to themselves and not letting it reach others. The words which could blossom in the air and they let it wilt in the atmosphere of hidden words and unspoken harmonies, unable to speak their condition to each other. Maybe because their weight was too much for them, if they put it on each other's shoulder, it might have razed them so they held it inside. They remained like this as the day for the Red to leave came. She took a few deep breaths. Applied makeup to hide the fact she cried and put up a smile. Lucifer looked at his reflection in the mirror, washing his face as the water could disappear the fact he was deteriorating. He wants to stagnate at this point but time doesn't stop for anyone as he has to face this. He walked out and saw Red, getting ready to leave. They were standing, not speaking anything. Clearly seen they both cried but not talking about it. Red curved her lips upward and said, "Cry. or else I will lose my bet." Lucifer laughed a little and shook his head. "Burn your passport after reaching home, I will also remove the record that Iris never traveled to another country." Lucifer explained and she nodded. "Also, upload the pictures saved in drafts to make it look like Red is in California and Iris is with her husband." "Ah, did you sign the divorce papers?" Lucifer asked. The way they were talking so formally made it awkward as they couldn't even speak in their normal tone. "Yeah. I gave it to you after your birthday, remember?" "Oh, yeah." Lucifer looked at Red for a few seconds and engulfed her in a hug, holding her tightly. Tethered his beats with hers and smiled, snuggling to her neck. She smiled and hugged him back. "I will miss you a lot." She whispered. "Me too." He whispered back, holding the urge to stay in her arms and pulled away. "Take care." Red smiled. "You too." "Okay... then. Till we meet again." Red forced a smile, heart heart pounding out her chest. Lucifer scratched his nape, looking away. Red turned to leave but stopped and looked at him, "Still don't want to cry?" Lucifer laughed a little, "No." "Bye." Red said, her heart stopped and ached but with the frozen mind and inexplicable feelings she left. Lucifer watched her leave and when she was out of view, he closed his eyes, holding the tears which threatened to fall back and leaned on the wall. "Harry... Did I do wrong by letting her go?" He asked. Harry scanned the condition of his Boss and nodded, "Yes. You should have told her about your condition. There's still time, Sir. Do it." Harry said. Lucifer straightened his back. "But I can't watch her leave." "But don't bury your emotions as well." Lucifer gulped, pushing the hairs falling on his face back and taking a shallow breath. "Go, before it's too late." "Once... for once... tell her my condition." Lucifer mumbled and hastily grabbed the keys of his car. Driving off to the airport with his heart beating as if it's about to burst with tears brimming in his eyes but he wiped them. "I don't want to live in eternal regret. If I don't tell her now, I will lose her forever." He said to himself, reaching the airport and getting out. At the airport, Red awaits her flight to California. After hearing the plane had boarded, she stood up to leave with a faint smile over her lips. Her sapphire gaze glimmered in happiness to meet her family after a year along with the pain she was hiding- rather don't want to show. Lucifer came and saw her leaving, his breaths were heavy as he rushed to her side. 'Please know what's in my heart, the condition of my ravage, this heart.... Which is crazy for you.' When Red was about to leave, a hand grabbed her elbow and pushed her back. Before her mind could comprehend what happened, soft lips were placed upon hers, taking her into a passionate kiss of desires and unspoken melody of affection. At that moment, all my restraints broke. And I could no longer control myself. Red thought, leaving everything in her hand and effusively welcoming the warmth of Lucifer. She wrapped her arms around him, interwinding her heartbeats with him. Their lips moved in rhythm, glistening with the caprice blend with remorse of choosing this painful path. Turning oblivious of the surroundings and letting out the buried emotions. They burst their emotion through the action as they gradually pulled away with the same thought roaming in their mind, 'Please don't stop.'