22- Silence

Rayan was getting ready for work, Isra entered the room, watching him buttoning his shirt. A strange unwanted pain was written over her face, narrowing her eyes in dejection. But washing away her sorrows behind her pools of affectation, she walked to him, taking the tie from the bed and walking up to him. "Rayan..." She called, looking up to him. Furrowing his brow at her demeanor, he hummed and was about to take the tie but she wrapped it around his neck, astonishing him while whispering, "Thank you." "For what?" He asked in perplexity. Sighing, she looked up to him, curling her lips upward but not in a smile, "For understanding that I needed space." "I hope you can adjust." He smiled, removing her hands and setting his tie himself. What he began to desire was beyond his comprehension. Leaning back on the dressing table, she asked hesitantly, watching him getting ready. "They wouldn't hate me.. Would they?" "What do you mean?" He asked, applying his cologne but not removing his eyes from hers. "I mean...it was Uncle's dream to have all of you living together and you are moving out because of me." She explained sadly, twirling her fingers around her dress. Pausing his action, Rayan turned to her, chuckling a little at her words because it was his decision to move out. "What? Of course not. You have the right to ask for a separate home. And seeing the situation, it would be better if we parted ways." Her face lit up in happiness upon hearing it, "Thank you." "You're welcome." He smiled and began to search for his wallet and phone. Isra got it and gave it to him, "Here you go." smiling a little and he couldn't ask for more, the way the inexplicable emotions glistened on her face made his heart skip a beat, "Thanks. Bye." The Radiance emitted from her made not his day but his life. Just. that. Smile. He thought smiling to himself and left. After two weeks, Rayan found themselves an apartment and they packed their stuff to move out and live on their own, perhaps then something mesmeric would arouse between them to lead them towards the doors of a successful married life. "Are you done packing?" Rayan asked. "Yeah." She nodded and walked out with him to bid goodbye to everyone. Hania said, hugging them and kissing their forehead, eyes dwell with tears at the moment. "I am going to miss you." "Me too." Rayan whispered, kissing her head. "I am sorry..." Isra whispered, ashamed of what happened, "It's okay, dear. We can understand." Hania smiled, giving the couple her blessing. "I will miss you a lot." Hoorain said, crying, hugging Rayan, "Me too. Take care of everything, okay." Making a puffy face she nodded. "Take care." He whispered, kissing her head and left with Isra. "I stole you from them, didn't I?" Isra asked, eyes affixed on her hands devoid yet razed. That occurred long ago. He thought as a microscopic smile came to his lips, unnoticed by Isra as they went to their apartment. "Here is our apartment. Thirtieth floor. Is it fine?" He asked, since Isra showed no interest in their new home and let him decide whatever he wants. "As long as the elevator works." She joked, looking at the building in front of her. "It will. Let's go." They entered and Rayan showed her around, espying her curious eyes contemplating their home as his tongue slipped, "Here is our home- apartment." He quickly corrected himself, looking away. "Home is fine." She smiled. "I.. Really don't want to do anything to make you uncomfortable. See, even your room is upstairs and mine is there." He said, trying to lighten his heart but she frowned, "You don't have to Rayan." "Listen, Isra." He said with a deep breath, taking a step forward, locking his eyes with hers, hoping to ease the ravage of her heart just a little but his comforting words, "I know your decision of marrying me was a compromise and it was something you never wanted. You probably wouldn't even give me a chance." He laughed a little emptily, Isra felt embarrassed by the bitter reality but he continued, "But let me promise you one thing, as long as you bear my name. I offer my last ounce of struggle to work this out. I will devote my everything to make you feel safe and comfortable with me." He whispered with in-depth emotions of affection and was about to hold her hands. Moving away, she hugged her sides, "Rayan, I am not ready. Please... " Rayan bit his cheeks but kept on smiling, not wanting to hurt her, "I know, I can understand and there is no need for you to force yourself. I am willing to wait.. forever." He said sweetly, putting his hands in pocket and grinning, "Why don't you let me do everything I could?" The sugar-coated tone made Isra's heart clenched, "I can't... I am sorry Rayan but I can't." Shaking her head she just walked away. "It's totally fine." Why are you so disheartened with me? Please don't love me this much. She thought. "I am sorry that you have me in your life..." She said in a croaked tone, sitting on the couch and pulling her hair by the scenario where her heart was powerless. Vain tries to evoke what's impossible. That's a blessing to me. He thought, lost in her. "Why don't I cook dinner for today?" He asked cutely, breaking her devastating rhythm. Raising a brow, she looked up to him, narrowing her eyes at him in confusion but his softness sealed her lips. Staring at his face for a while, she finally responded before leaving to her room. "Hmm." The time passed and Rayan prepared dinner. Buying a furnished apartment, they only had to set up their wardrobe so it didn't consume much time and he cooked dinner for her. "Isra, dinner's ready." He told her, knocking at her door. "Coming." Then they began to have dinner in silence. The eerie absence of sound was surely ominous but it's only two of them. Isra held an emotionless face. Noticing her distance towards him, Rayan called her, "Isra... can I ask you something?" "What is it?" She asked, not bothering to look up to him. "Say you wouldn't mind." He said innocently. Stopping eating and looking at her. "Depends." Inhaling, he blurted what ruined his mind for a while, "What is it about me which evokes repugnance to being so far from me?" Her appetite is impeded by his words, putting the spoon down, "It's not it, Rayan." She sighed. "Then why-" Before his desperation could reach her ears, Isra cut the source off by her cold words, "Rayan, the only thing I can do for you is to fulfill my obligations." "You don't have to if you don't want to. I am sorry I asked. I just wanted to know what was so hateful about me..." He mumbled, lowering his head again. Wanting to know what made her so abhorrent towards him, why it's so hard for her to give him a chance. "Can I be honest?" She asked, staring intensely into his eyes. Rayan gave her a tentative nod, mentally preparing his mind for something which can shatter his heart, "Sure." "It's your very presence." Her stone-cold tone pricked a sword coated with poison in his heart. He listened; expressionless but could feel the pain in his body, "Did it hurt you?" She asked. You hate me... that much? He thought, hanging his head low from unbearable agony, forcing down his lump. His lips began to quaver, ignoring the liquid brimming in his eyes, whispering, "Can I be honest?" "Sure." "It did. But it's fine. It's not the first time." He taunted, biting his cheeks to not react and put on a chivalrous front to not sadden her. "That's exactly why." She snickered, leaning back. "Based upon prejudice, you still hung over-" "Over experience." She hissed, getting up. Rayan smiled widely and spoke affectionately with a tear in his eyes, "But I promise to be the person you can count on. I am not like that anymore, trust me. I have changed. It's okay if you don't want to share your happiness with me but let me be the partner of your sorrow... when you need someone the most." Rolling her eyes at his sincere words, Isra muttered under her breath, "I don't have to. You find your way in one way or another." "Then just know I am here and always will be. My doors were always open, you can rest your grief on my shoulder, I will gladly embrace it." Her heart hurt by his broken tone, inflicting undesirable pain sewed to her chest as a reminder of anguish. He kept on being the charming guy any girl would fall for. But Isra began to loathe it. Both him and her as to his heartwarming words, all she could give him in response was silence...