27.2- His Confession

"And your silence is making me tense, that's why please, do whatever you want but don't stay silent, Rayan anymore, please." Her voice croaked, pleading with him to not inflict sanction on her anymore and Rayan by all means, cannot bear her dolor. "Isra..." His tone softened when he saw worry for him in her eyes, delighting him. "Rayan please." She whispered, biting her lips. "Did I hurt you?" He asked softly, hesitantly to hold her hands. "Your silence did... but I know you deliberately cannot hurt me... I kinda deserve it for treating you like this... Actually now I know how it feels..." She chuckled hollowly, not lifting her head. "Then... Can I hold your hand... for like ten minutes... Please?" He asked expectantly. Isra smiled and gave her his hands, causing both of them to smile widely and look at each other. Smile at me like this forever. They both thought at the same time. His face glowed as if he found the Holy Grail when her hands met his, looking at her hands and then back at her, grinning like a kid, not being mad at his beloved anymore. "You're so pretty, you know? An angel descended for me, to be mine, what the world desires to gain is mine and it makes me proud, your beauty knows no bounds, Isra. It makes me want to stare at you all day. Never part my eyes from yours, to stay in your shade forever. I don't even have words to explain my feelings or your beauty..." How can you love me so much? She thought painfully. He chuckled but soon his delight faded and he whispered lowering his head sadly. "But...I...never thought... You would punish me for five years like this. Making me go through the pain I don't think I deserve... Just because of my feelings, you tormented me immensely... What was my fault? That the extent of my feelings was too much for you?" His grip tightened on her hand, scaring her. Her eyes widened in shock, not believing his words, pinching her chest terribly, "Don't say-" "Why do you hate me so much? What did I do wrong? What did my feelings lack? Okay, you can't force feelings but you gave Bhai a chance to prove but not me. What should I consider your hypocrisy as?" He asked despairingly. Carving scars on his chest left him on a desolate path filled with the thorn where his destined love was stolen from him. "Why is it easy for you to give everyone a chance but not me?" He asked in a croaky voice, knowing how they separated, she never found him again. "I can't force myself to love you." She replied in the same tone, still choosing to break him. "Huh? Ah, yes. You are absolutely right. You cannot force yourself.." He hummed, agreeing with her words but then struck her with the question she wasn't ready to answer. "Then what about the moment you buried in your heart and now punishing me for them? Ruining me for what you feel? Breaking my heart over and over again because of your fear." He hissed, his grip pricked a tear in her eyes, increasing her heartbeats in dread, "It was all related-" He was about to continue but she said hurriedly, "It was just a mistake I don't want to repeat." She gasped at her reply, not meaning her words. "Mistake?" He asked, thinking he might have heard her wrong. "Rayan, No-" She tried to justify her slip of the tongue but he pulled her closer, "Mistake huh?" He growled, frightening her, but biting his lip, he looked away. "Meaning... you never loved me?" He asked sadly. Swallowing hard, she said, "Rayan, listen" "Just answer, Isra. Why is it so hard for you to answer?" He asked but she kept looking down. "Please don't do this to me, Isra... please..." He shook his head, slamming his free hand on the table, startling her but turning back to her he whispered desperately. "You know how much I love you... please don't neglect me. You know what I feel, what I think, I-I can't stay away from you, you dwell in my heart, I reside where you and if you will leave me in this condition, I will be ravaged." He spoke what she knew but was afraid to embrace and his words caused a tear to roll down her cheeks. "I.. I.. Have nowhere to stay, I'll be ruined..." He pleaded, holding her hands tightly. "Where were these words before? When you were with Sateesha? Living your life happily? Bullying me for no reason?" She asked sorrowfully, trying to suppress her tears "We made a pinky promise to move on and forget it all! And you... you... Are now using it as an excuse to hate me. I ask you what have I ever done that you resent me so much?!" He yelled, tears gleaming in the corner of his eyes but he didn't let them fall and hurt her for what was done for better was now in return became a source of woe. "Rayan. It's not-" "I love you, Isra. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you so much and you know it." He confessed, tightening his grip on her head. Stop it. "You know it when Emraz Bhai's proposal came. You knew before accepting this that I love you still you never cared." "I... I thought you had moved on... You were with Sateesha and never paid attention to me. Always with her, ignoring me... I.. I thought you don't care anymore..." And it hurt me more than you can imagine. Was silent. She stuttered with tears brimming in her eyes. "Do you truly think I would?" "Then you and Sateesha...?" She trailed off, not believing he did this just to be jealous of her. "Yes. Still, I couldn't forget you, no matter what, I couldn't get you out of my head, you were always there, in my heart... I couldn't do it.." He whispered but his sentence infuriated her. "Do you have any idea how much it hurt me?" She asked, bending on the ground to her a clear look on his devastated face blended with her pain. "I love you, I love you so much. Please don't push me away." He continued to chant these words. "Give us a chance." "I.. I.. Swear I will give you all happiness. I will love you more than anyone ever will but please. Please give me a chance." "I am trying, Rayan. Believe me, I am." She kissed the back of his palm, whispering, crying silently at his raze. He stopped his agonizing cries and looked at her for a while and slowly lowered his head depressingly. "I see.." Sniffling, he pulled his hand away from her, wiping his tears, "Ah, I am sorry, it took five minutes longer." He forced out a smile and scratched the back of his neck nervously, tears shimmered in the corner but he put up a pretense. "Sorry... I love when my fingers intertwined with yours.." "It makes me feel protected and loved. When you are near, I don't want to leave you ever again even if your hands were cold but what am I saying? I love everything about you. Isra, I-" "Your very presence hurts me, Rayan." Isra told him, espying his features with her blurry eyes, moving closer to him, putting her hand on his chest, straining him. "Still, I want it." With the final whisper, she pressed her lips upon his, staggering him to no extent, moving to his level, pressing her lips upon his in a mesmeric harmony. Rayan was too shocked to react but soon his heart skipped a beat by abrupt attraction arousing him. Closing his eyes as a tear rolled down his cheek in inexplicable happiness but he was never given many options. He held her shoulders and pulled away. "Don't... please. I don't want you to have more reasons to hate me." He whispered sadly, putting his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes before passing out in her embrace. She watched him with pity as her heart ached by his confession.