27- His Confession

The next day Rayan woke up, vaguely remembering what happened last night but the realization that he took his internal suffering on Isra was clear, he knew he had taken out what he was bearing all this time but oddly- It eased his heart. A strange tranquility you gain after taking out your inner frustration. Shaking his head, the hangover consumed his body. "Argh.. What happened?" He asked himself before forcing himself out of the bed, taking a long shower, eyes closed, putting his hand on his heart. "How can I yell at her?" He asked, staring at his reflection in the mirror, "You don't hurt the person you love then how could you do it, Rayan?" He whispered, slamming his hand on the wall, shutting his eyes, taking a long breath to pretend nothing happened and got ready to leave for work. But, for once... I want her to feel what I do. He thought, becoming a little selfish but desiring a little self-respect wasn't wrong either. With a cold expression, he walked out and saw Isra all ready to leave, gasping when he came out, dismal dripping from her expression which hurt him but bearing it he walked. "M-Morning, breakfa-" "I am not hungry." He replied coldly, stopping at the door, "Are you gonna come or not?" He asked, tone stern. "Y-Yes, I am coming." She whispered, taking her bag from her room, going after him. "R-Rayan..." She called him hesitantly, glancing at him. His eyes hold no emotion, focused on the road, "Hmm?" "Last.. night.." She tried to speak, "I don't remember anything, I was drunk." He said, parking his car as they both got out. She wanted to speak something, ask but his silence, his dominance conquered over her hopes, intimidating her. "Is it alright to hurt the other person, when the one who loved is me? But, I guess that's human nature, uncontrollable emotions." Rayan whispered to himself, taking a long inhale from his smoke, not removing his eyes from the exquisite view outside, coat resting on his seat, sleeved rolled perfectly to the elbow, a visible display of perturbation but no control over it. "Sir, Mr Emraz is here to meet you." His assistant informed him. Humming, he motioned her to leave. "I guess things are not going well." Emraz said, entering, noticing her smoke dispersed in the air, "Since when they were, Bhai?" He asked with a sigh of disappointment, turning back to him. "Leaving the country was the far better idea." He muttered under his breath, blowing his cigarette in the ashtray. "But, it was not the solution to your malady." "Yeah, but ruining your future was." He scoffed, closing his arms at his chest. "Do you think I would be happy after this?" Emraz asked, taking a seat, smiling gently at his brother. "Do you think I am at peace now?" Rayan asked, holding his chest. "She hates me. She always did." He whispered painfully. "How do you know what she feels?" Emraz asked. "You don't need words to be aware of some things." He mumbled, looking away. "Don't be dejected at the start, Brother." Emraz cheered, getting up and patting his back. "Leave it, I have already made this pain eternal." Rayan chuckled dryly, turning to Emraz, "What brought you here?" "I was just here to ask, if it's alright if I don't attend the party?" He asked hesitantly, not wanting his presence to hurt anyone ready to kill his urge to come and watch his brother's achievement so others wouldn't feel bothered by his presence. "What? You can't do this!" He argued, turning to him, "I know but my presence will only be a hindrance, people will talk and it will hurt Isra too." He said sadly, looking down. "No, Bhai. You cannot do this. I am sorry you have to go through this but don't make me feel guilty by hiding when you have done nothing." Rayan whispered, shaking his head in denial. "I just want you guys to be happy." He whispered, curling his lips upward in a sorrowful smile, "But that doesn't mean you have to leave the family memorable events. You can't do this." He argued. "But-" Emraz tried to ask but Rayan said sternly, "You are coming and that's final." He enunciated, "Or else I will drag you." he added, causing Emraz to chuckle, "Being stubborn, aren't we?" He smirked and Rayan nodded with a grin. "Yup, you are coming and that's final." He said. "Okay, okay." Emraz chuckled. "I am saying this again, I will drag you if you don't come." Rayan reminded him again and sighing, Emraz left. After a nonchalant day, they returned home. They returned home and Isra said, "The preparations are going well. I hope, my habit of delaying-" She tried to speak expectantly but he cut her off, "I don't want to talk about work." "Oh.. I see.." She mumbled, looking down. "How... was your day?" She asked quietly, "Why do you care?" He scoffed, not replying to her, the rest of the drive was silent as they returned home and Rayan went to sleep without even having dinner. Isra was vexed all the time, trying to talk to Rayan but he ignored her for a couple of days until Isra was fed up with his lack of attention. His silence which was hurting her immensely and she decided to confront him on Sunday, "Rayan..." She called, entering his room after a knock. "Hmm?" He hummed, working on his laptop. "I made some coffee.. for you." She whispered, putting the cup on the side, "With no sugar and lots of cream," She added, gaining a glance at him, not expecting her to know what type of coffee he likes. "So generous of you, remember my likes." He muttered under his breath, not ripping his eyes from the laptop. "Aren't you gonna talk to me?" She asked innocently, not removing her eyes from his strict ones. Silence, "Even a complaint, but talk to me, Rayan... Please." She whispered desperately and he responded to her hopelessness, "And what will I gain by talking?" He asked, his tone was scaring her, hurting her. "What will you gain by not doing it?" She asked, biting her cheeks, rubbing her hands together, "Talking to you has been worthless and hurtful till now, Isra." He said, emitting a long sigh, turning to her, "I will try to ensure it won't be anymore." A dry chuckle escaped his lips, "No, thank you. I don't need your mercy." He scoffed, turning back to his screen. "Rayan, please..." She said, moving closer, "Don't neglect me." She whispered, leaning closer to his face. "Neglect? I thought you considered it freedom of speech and action." He snickered. "Your silence hurts me, be who you are with me." She said hurriedly, tilting her head to get a better look of his face. He stopped, looking back at her, "Don't speak what you don't mean." He whispered. "How do you know I don't mean it?" She asked sadly. "Because I believe my every agony satisfies you." He whispered, blended with rage, "No, it makes me ashamed of my own self." She replied honestly, the woe in her tone was clear but it made Rayan's mouth gape, "Ashamed?" He asked, raising his voice, closing his laptop, "Look, if you want to disgrace my feelings then do it once, don't humiliate me over and over again." He scowled, "No, No, I didn't mean it like this." She whispered, shaking her head in denial. "Then what is it?" He hissed, making her breath hitched, "Your extremity. I know I cannot face it... They alone are too strong." Isra knows she was acting like a hypocrite at this point but she doesn't care anymore, she wants him to listen, to be himself. "And I... I am nowhere near it."