Chapter 080

Letters, a diary, polo dress, romance books, an instant camera, ukulele, blue scarf, earpads and headphones, sneakers, and a tumbler are in the box. Does everything have a story so dad separates it? Are they important to me? But who are they from? But I don't have the same teddy bear that Sebastian gave me, but I'm sure I had one before. Where can I find that? I took a diary and read what was written in it. I just wanted to know and for sure that the diary I'm holding now was mine. June 6, 201* Dear Diary; Today is our first day of school and I'm excited to meet and see Bug's male friend. He told me that he was kind and handsome. What does he look like? But I hope he will be my friend too. Love, Vienna June 7, 201* Dear Diary; Bug is right, he is kind and handsome. Then he's easy to get along with, he's not rude or arrogant. He's funny, he always seems to have a joke, and his pick-up lines are even corny. I really didn't think we would be close right away even though it was only the second time that we met. He's so sweet and kind. I was lucky to meet him and become my friend. Love, Vienna June 19, 201* Dear Diary; I feel so guilty because of what happened this morning. I was shy to face him and talk to him. Because of that, he was punished and he couldn't take the quiz. How come I forgot my I.D, we can't enter the gate if we're not wearing it. It was just timing that he caught me outside and because of his kindness, he let me wear his I.D. I did get in but he was punished. But it seems to be okay with him, but not with me. I'm crying now, I don't want to face him anymore. Love, Vienna Who is the guy I refer to on every page of this diary? Who is the bug I'm calling? Is he my friend's nickname before? July 16, 201* Dear Diary; It's been a few weeks since I haven't written to you and told you about what happened in my day. Because there was a problem here at home and I just feel sad every time I think about it. Do you need to know more? Do I need to tell you more? I'm in pain now, it hurts me every time I see my parents fighting. I don't know what the reason is but it seems like they are about to separate. I once heard my mom and she mentioned about the annulment. In the first place, I didn't know what that meant but when I found out what that meant, I was scared for the sake of our family. I don't want my parents to separate but I won't let that happen. I will do everything so that mom doesn't leave my dad. Love, Vienna I immediately closed the notebook after reading that page. I sat down on the floor and looked down while holding my head. I can't read this anymore, I'm just in pain and it's hard to go back to my past in this house. I'm sure that what followed was what happened here at home after mom left my dad. I don't want to know more about that, I don't want to remember the times when my dad was hurt so much. "Ma'am Vienna.." I raised my head when I heard Mang Eduardo's voice outside the room. But I didn't look at him, I was just looking at the diary I was holding. "Ma'am Vienna, are you all right?" he asked. I nodded in response before looking back at him. But my eyes widened when I saw the teddy bear he was holding. I slowly stood up but I was still looking at the teddy bear he was holding. 'That's the teddy bear I'm talking about.' "Is this the same teddy bear as the one in the photo you showed me earlier?" he asked. "Yes, but where did you find that?" I replied. He also handed it to me and I couldn't stop myself from staring at it. I was right, I used to have this teddy bear that was the same as the teddy bear that Sebastian gave me. "In your father's office, ma'am," he said which surprised me. How did it end up in dad's office? Dad can't put a teddy bear in his office. "All your toys and things used to be donated to the orphanage. But the teddy bear you were holding, your dad separated it and I saw him put it in his office. I was surprised why not he gave it to you," he added. Why didn't dad include this teddy bear in the box that Mang Eduardo gave me? I'm wondering, is dad hiding something from me? "When did that happen? Do you still remember?" I asked. "When your father took you to the orphanage. He ordered us to immediately put away and hide all your things in the house. We were surprised, ma'am, because at that time your father was angry and that was the first time I've seen him get angry." I was even more confused by what he answered and neither did I understand anything. But I wonder why dad did that? "Did you find out the reason why he was angry at that time?" I asked again but he shook his head in response. "I didn't even bother to ask, ma'am, because your dad might get angrier." "But do you know the reason why Dad made me live in an orphanage 3 years ago?" I've been looking for an answer about that for a long time but I can't find anything. Every time I ask dad, he always changes the conversation, same with mom and brother. I also tried to ask the nuns but they didn't know anything. "Neither ma'am, because we haven't been able to talk since he took you to the orphanage. But I heard something, that the reason you were sent to the orphanage was to speed up your recovery." That's what Mother Selda told me and I just don't know if it's true. Dad said, why he let me live in the orphanage because the reason is it was better there, peaceful, quiet, and without trouble and it would speed up my recovery. I did recover but I was confused by what was happening around me. When I left the orphanage, it seemed like I changed a lot, especially the way my life went. I feel like it's not like it used to be like something is missing in my personality and until now, I still don't know what it is. "Ma'am Vienna, do you still remember who gave that to you?" he asked pointing to the teddy bear I was holding. I'm sure Martin gave it to me. Suddenly I remembered the first time I remembered him because of the teddy bear that Sebastian gave me. And I'm not mistaken, this is it. But is it just a coincidence that the teddy bears Martin and Sebastian gave me are the same? "I noticed something on the teddy bear's dress, ma'am." "What is that Mang Eduardo?" I wondered before looking at the teddy bear's clothes. "There is a guy's name written on the back of the dress, ma'am." I looked up what it was and Mang Eduardo was right. And the name he was referring to was Martin's name. But I noticed something strange so I immediately took the cellphone out of my pocket. I opened it and went to the gallery to look at the picture of the teddy bear that Sebastian gave me. When I found it, I put aside the teddy bear and my phone where the picture was displayed. I alternately look at the two until I know what is in this teddy bear. The teddy bear given by Martin and the teddy bear given by Sebastian is the same. Even in the way the two names are written, they are the same. What does this mean? Is it all a coincidence? I don't understand, I'm confused. I don't want to think about anything because it's impossible that what I'm thinking is right. That Martin and Sebastian are... one.