Chapter 087

When I got to the Baywalk, there was no one and all I could hear was the loud crash of the waves coming from the sea. I thought of going here so that somehow I could feel better and forget what happened, but I didn't. I just remembered it more and more since we first met, my brother and my mother kept it a secret from me, what I found out about him and what happened between us. They all went out even though I don't want to remember it anymore. "Dear, are you alright?" I immediately turned to the person who spoke, an old man carrying a sack of plastic bottles. I couldn't help feeling sorry for him because he was wearing torn and dirty clothes. He still had no shoes on and was very tired from the long walk. "I'm fine, how about you? Where else are you from?" I asked while wiping my tears. He put down the big sack and I couldn't stop myself from helping him. I know that he was a homeless person but I don't care what he is. "Picked up bottles and anything else that could be sold, there near the beach," he replied and pointed to where he came from. "Are you hungry? I will buy food for you." "It's okay hija, I already ate bread earlier." The old man is kind even though he has this status in life. But it was obvious to him that he was suffering from a serious illness. "Father, do you still have a family or a wife?" I asked, making his eyes sad. "No more, my wife has left me since I got sick. It was eight years ago when the doctor said that I had kidney disease and that I needed surgery before it got worse. But because of the hardships of life, I didn't have surgery or even take medicine to recover from my illness. I don't have a job because I'm old and my body can't work anymore. So I didn't undergo surgery and buy some medicine for my illness. We were in debt and we become poorer. Because of that, my wife left me with my two young children. It was like my world collapsed when they left me, I couldn't handle it and it led me to this." I couldn't stop crying because of what Father Manuel told me. It's like I suddenly remembered what Dad went through when Mom left him. His life became miserable just like what happened here with Father Manuel. "I've been wandering the streets for four years. There's nowhere to live, nothing to eat, and no proper clothes. I pick up bottles and whatever else can be sold for my food every day. It's not enough but this is a big help for me. I'm thankful because I'm still alive even though I have a serious illness. I thought I was going to die but by the grace of God I'm still alive," he added. I suddenly remembered the time I had an accident, I thought that was the end of me but it wasn't. I did live but I lost my memory so I couldn't stop thinking that I should have died. "Your eyes are sad.." he said causing me to look back at him but he kept looking at the sea. "Is it obvious?" I replied and he nodded in response. "I noticed right away when I was just going in your direction. I even thought you would jump, because that's the reason other people come here alone. Jump off because of the problem they are facing and I thought you were one of them but I was wrong. What is your reason for coming here?" "Avoid the people who caused me pain and forget for a while from the pain I went through," I replied turning to him. "Every time I look at the sea, I feel better and the problems I'm facing suddenly disappear from my mind. I thought I would still feel the same way when I come back here, but not anymore. Because of what happened today, the pain I feel is getting heavier. I thought I would forget it for a while, I thought I would feel better when I got here, but it didn't. I only got more hurt and I remembered more all the painful things that happened in my life when I faced the sea. But I didn't regret coming back here, the sea made me understand that I shouldn't run away from the problem I'm facing, that I should face it alone." But the question is, can I face it alone? I have confidence in myself but I'm not sure if I can handle it. I don't want them to worry about me, I'd rather face it alone instead of asking for help from them. "No matter how big the sin they have committed against you, I hope you can forgive them. Life is short so don't waste the opportunity while you are still with them." But I still can't forgive them and I still can't face them after what happened. "There are many solutions to the problem and you can overcome it alone. It depends on us what to do to overcome it so that our lives will be easier. The problem you are facing will end as long as you trust yourself," he said with a smile. I also couldn't stop myself from smiling because of what he said. It seems that I have hope that I can overcome all the problems and pains that I am going through now. "Thank you, I hope the next time I come back here you'll still be here, but I know you won't be. I want to help you, so I hope you'll let me." I immediately took the wallet that was in my pocket and took out the five thousand pesos inside it. "I'll give it to you, buy everything you want. Buy clothes, food, and medicine for your illness," I said handing the money to him. "The money you will give is too much, I will not accept that, dear," he said. But I immediately grabbed his hand and placed the money in his palm then I smile at him. "As I said earlier, I want to help you and I'm not forced. You deserve it because you are kind, hardworking and a good father. Because of you, I feel better and the pain I feel temporarily disappeared. By the way, I'll give you the address of my house. Don't worry, you'll have someone with you there. Just tell the caretaker of the house that I know you and I will also text him to let him know that you will be coming. I'm sorry if I can't accompany you because I have something important to do. I'll see you there in 2 days and I hope when we meet, you'll be fine." "Thank you so much dear, thank you for your help," he tearfully responded causing me to hug him. "You're welcome, Father, be careful." I smiled as I looked at Father Manuel leaving. I hope that I somehow helped him to gradually recover from the hardships he went through. And even though I only spent more than thirty minutes with him, he has become a part of my life. I decided to go up to the uneven pavement to see more of the whole sea. I suddenly held my breath when I remembered what Father Manuel said earlier. Why do other people go through the problem they are facing by jumping into the sea? Does it disappear immediately when you jump? Or do they really just want to kill themselves? "VIENNA, DON'T JUMP!"