Chapter 089

"Ma'am Vienna, are you all right?" I slowly looked up and wiped my tears. "Why are you crying?" She asked worriedly. "I'm fine sister, don't worry about me. I just remembered something that's why I cried but I'm really fine," I replied and forced her to smile. "I hope you're all right, ma'am. Just call me if you need anything." I just nodded in response and Sister Riza immediately left. But my tears fell again when I remembered what I had read earlier. That happened 4 days ago, he admitted that he was Martin but because I was hospitalized, I didn't know it right away. If I had only known this right away, we wouldn't have gotten into this situation where we were both hurting each other. But it's too late, I don't know if I can get back what we had before or not. She's already here, I need to prepare myself for whatever she's going to say. "Vienna dear, it's good that you're fine. Where did you go? Uncle Lucas and I looked for you-" "You act as if you haven't done anything wrong, anyway you've always been like that." I cut her off, I can't listen to her drama anymore. It's always like that, it's too old. "Vienna is not what you think, please let me explain, okay? I will tell you everything but please listen to me," she replied as she pleaded in front of me. I could do nothing but listen to what she had going to say, I want it to be over so I can get out of here. "Your brother and I didn't mean to keep secret about them, about Sebastian from you. But we have no choice but to keep it a secret from you because that's what your dad wants." I was suddenly fell silent, I couldn't understand what she meant. Does Dad want to keep me away from Sebastian? But why? "When you had the accident, your father was so furious that he almost hurt me, but your Uncle Lucas stopped him. I admit it was my fault that you got hurt, but the punishment your father gave me was unbearable. He kept me from seeing you, from being near you, and even from holding your hand. It breaks my heart that I couldn't be by your side because of the mistake I made against you and our family." I slowly sat on the sofa because of what I found out. My whole body is getting weak and my tears are still pouring. I couldn't believe that my dad could do that, he didn't tell me anything about it. That's why Mom couldn't even visit me at the hospital and orphanage because of what happened to me. But I never thought that Dad would make such a decision to keep his daughter away from her mother. "I apologized and begged your dad several times but he still wouldn't let me see you. He pushed me away, dragged me out of the hospital, and humiliated me in front of many people but I didn't stop because I really wanted to see you. But after 2 weeks, I found out from Mother Selda that your father will take you to the orphanage. That was the day I saw you but I couldn't get close to you because I was afraid of hurting you again. After that, your dad talked to me and he said, I shouldn't tell anyone what happened to you. I begged your dad to tell Britt, especially Martin what happened to you but he didn't agree, he said that it can only make you suffer if you will found out about them. So even though it was hard for me and your brother to keep it a secret, we were forced to do it so your dad could allow me to see you. I didn't do anything to change your dad's decision because he did that for you, for your good." "For my own good? Why is there something good that happened or good to me after I left the orphanage? Mom, nothing! I ended up wondering who I was then. Who are the people close to my life? What is missing from my identity? Mom, it's hard that you don't remember anything about your past. But I still can't forget the reason why I had an accident. Why did I pay for your mistake? Why was I the one who suffered when you should have been the one?" "Vienna... I'm so sorry, forgive me-" "Will your sorry could change everything that happened to our family? To me?" "Vienna-" "Because of what you did, not only I was hurt but also the people I love. When I had an accident, that was the same day Sebastian was left by his mom." She was surprised by what I said, she immediately looked away but her tears continued to flow. "Whenever he needed me at that time, then I had an accident. Mom, they looked for me everywhere, Sebastian looked for me even though he was hurting because his mom left him. But you don't have any idea what happened because you only think about yourself! You didn't think about how other people would feel. You're my mother, right? Why didn't you even fight for your right as a mother for you to see me? Why did it lead to that? That you managed to keep a secret about what happened to me just to see me? You didn't just hurt me but also Britt and Enzo, most especially, Sebastian. I understood that you were just worried about me but they don't have a fault. Why did you make them involved as well?" I don't have the energy to listen to her explanations, all I want is to finish it and get out of here. I left the house with heavy feet with the memories I wanted to bury in the past. Everything became clear to me but I couldn't accept what I found out. It hurts, I can't accept that whoever else we trust is the one who will break our trust. *** I don't know where I am now but I'm sure I'm far away from them. Far from the people who hurt and fool me, and far from the people who just broke my trust. Now that I'm away from them, it's as if the heavy thing in my chest has disappeared and the anger and pain I feel have temporarily disappeared. When will this problem end? I really want to get back to the old life I had. I suddenly thought of opening my phone and I received a hundred missed calls from Britt, Michelle, Therese, Enzo, Tine, my brother, and especially Sebastian. I didn't expect him to call me, that's not the Sebastian I used to know. I looked at some of our pictures saved on my phone. I smiled but I couldn't stop crying when I suddenly thought, why couldn't I even remember his face 3 years ago? I couldn't stop thinking, why did I forget him? But I realized one thing, even though I lost my memory but my heart did not forget that he was the only man I loved before that I loved even more now. I decided to open the box that Mother Selda gave me. I've got the courage, maybe this is the right time for me to find out what it's all about. I wish I had opened it earlier, I wish I would have known everything. Regret always comes last, so I don't want to repeat my mistakes and decisions. When I opened the box, the first thing that I saw was five letters from Sebastian himself. CDs, a videotape, a small box, photo albums, bracelets, a white hat, a folded black hoodie jacket and a key chain that I think was all from him. I want to know the story behind these things, but how? Smiling faces were the first to be revealed when I opened the photo album. Me and three boys I don't mean to forget. I didn't expect to see this right away, but it made me smile even though I don't remember when or where it happened. It's a great feeling to see the people you love smiling even in a simple photo. The only contents of this photo album are photos of the four of us, but I don't remember any of them. It's just sad, I have everything in front of me that can help me to remember them or him but my memories still haven't returned. "He-hello.. who's this?" I had no intention of answering this but he was calling since earlier. "Hello.." But no one answered, who is it? I looked at the screen of my phone but my eyes suddenly widened when I read the name of the person who registered the phone call. It is Sebastian! "Vienna.." My hand suddenly got cold when I heard his voice but here I am again, I couldn't hold back my tears. "Where are you? I'm coming to see you, please tell me where you are." "Don't look for me, stop looking for me. Don't torture yourself, Sebastian. I've hurt you for three years and that was enough. Please stop," I said crying. "I'll only stop when I find you and when I know you're safe." "I don't want to see you yet.. so please leave me alone for now. I'm sorry." Then I hung up the call. I immediately started the car engine but I could not continue to leave because of a loud horn coming from a ten-wheeler truck heading in the direction of my car. "CALL AN AMBULANCE! THAT WOMAN NEEDS TO BE TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL!" "It was all your fault, Venice! If anything bad happens to my daughter, I will kill you!" "Vienna sweetie, wake up. Daddy misses you." "VIENNA I'M SORRY! MY DAUGHTER, LET ME EXPLAIN, VIENNA WHERE ARE YOU GOING? VIENNA!!" "Forget everything, just don't me." "I love you! I love you! Billion times, that's how much I love you." "I'm corny? But you love me." I suddenly remembered some of what had happened before the accident. Is this the end of me? Why did I suddenly remember those events? "I love you, Sebastian," I said and slowly closed my eyes.