Chapter # 58

BACK THEN, Nathaniel vanished from the underworld to become a doctor, to find space after their love became too exhausting for him. He might have left, but there was someone whose whole life was turned upside down when he left. To his disappearance, her life, her hopes, the efforts she made to become humanoid from a killing machine- all of it burned. 'I will go crazy without him, Liam! Find Nathaniel!" She might have bravely permitted him to leave, to regain his mental peace. But to her, it was suffering. Each second was heavy on herself, immersed in cigarettes, two boxes were empty. Smoking emitted from her nose, mouth while coughing badly. 'Zariah, please, control yourself," Tears endlessly streamed down, gasping for air. His absence had affected her too much, moving forward in life without him was no longer possible. She was in her worst condition. Liam was horrified. First, the fake death's scene and now this, he was witnessing her mental breakdown again and it was disturbing. Clutching her chest, her back was resting against the bed, smoking constantly while whimpering weakly. 'Please… I need him, I can't let him go," Swallowing hard, he moved down, trying to take the cigarette from her hand. Making a futile attempt to make her understand although the ones in love were incurable. 'People let go of the one they love-" 'THEY CAN, I CAN'T!" Screaming, she slammed her hand down. Clutching her chest to show her anguish. In desperation, she was losing her identity between the cracks. 'I have waited each second for him, since the moment he made the promise to our divorce, fuck, even in jail, when my father made me marry other men for work, these lips were chanting his name." She was no longer herself, the Zariah this world once knew was dead. All she wanted was him as if he had become essential to her breaths- He had. 'And you say to let him go?" 'You have to-" 'Come here, Liam," Blowing the cigarette by her palm, not caring if it ended up burning her skin which was already blazing with the ache of separation. 'Do you see dumbfuck written on my forehead? Is it there?" She growled, pointing at her forehead. Not used to this miserable side of hers, Liam attempted to crawl back in dread but she grabbed his collar furiously, tears still glistening in her eyes. 'Tell me, asshole," He gulped, shaking his head in denial, '...No," 'THEN STOP GIVING ME RIDICULOUS SUGGESTIONS, IDIOT!" Yelling, she pushed him back as an indication that her mind had been misplaced accompanied by a ruptured cognition. She had become senseless, clutching her chest with tears streaming down her face without any intention of stopping. Her love was resulting in ruination. She couldn't bear it. 'Does he think only he can suffer for me, make plans, become dangerous for me. Do my feelings equal nothing?" Hissing, she took another cigarette and began to smoke again, wiping her tears roughly. 'Like hell I will let him go," Scowling, she pointed her cigarette at him, ordering strictly, 'Find him, at, all, cost," 'But-" 'I can't lose him again," She had waited for him all her life, she barely attained good times with him, she had lived with teenage memories enough. 'I have waited long enough, I have died for him. Don't you think I deserve to share two smiles with him?" Liam helped her to stand, making her sit on the bed while rubbing her shoulder with a vague question. 'At all cost?" 'At. all. Cost," She was dying to steal a future where she could be his for eternity. She could no longer leave him, it would take life-threatening force and she was not strong enough to let this happen again. 'I will give up on anything, fuck this power, this life, my name, everything, I want my love, I want emotions," Pleading in a whisper, she rested her head on his chest as the sound of her sobbing echoed in the mansion Nathaniel gifted Zariah as their wedding gift. Emitting compassion, his hands caressed her, giving her a glass of water to relax herself a little. 'Zariah, please…. Don't do this to yourself, you will either die from depression or fucking cancer from these cigarette," 'Death's better, at least I will find redemption," Enunciating outrageously, her head lowered, crying painfully. The distances were too much for her to bear and incapable of holding her mind together, she begged. 'Liam… I am begging you, the last thing I ask of you, find him," Grabbing his shirt, she expectantly hoped that he would help her escape this destructive loop where she was left all alone. ‘I had no dreams, no hopes, being a Mafia ace was not as satisfactory as I perceived- or perhaps, he was all I ever wanted…' In that case, how could she possibly let him go? Powerless before her agonizing condition that was worsening each day due to his absence, he rose from the bed. 'I…" He knew it wouldn't be a good idea but it was better than watching her die cold in desire. 'I know someone who can… help-" Her face glowed, 'R-Really? W-Who?" 'BUT." He put his hand in the air to not get excited. 'Nathaniel would never prefer going that road. He hates that man the most, he must not know you took his hand to reach him," 'I will do anything to have him back," 'Okay," Liam knew this would be wrong but making it his last favor to her before parting ways, he introduced her to Zoran who was an Ace of India back then. Zariah only heard, she had no anticipation of the extent of wrath he carried. ‘How much could it be?' She held onto that thought and met with Zoran. 'So it's you huh? Zoran?" 'I have no intention of having a chit-chat with you. Let's come to the business," He replied assertively. Carrying the flame of revenge in his heart and when she came, he knew he must utilize this opportunity to ruin Nathaniel in every way. 'Do you know where he is?" 'Everyone except you knows. The man is living a life of his dreams… without you, of course," He smirked darkly, deepening her frown. 'Then you must know what I want too," 'I shall provide you a path straight to his life permanently and in return," Her brow furrowed, not sure about it as he demanded the only thing he wanted. 'Give me his best friend," 'Why?" He growled, 'Because De Villiers killed my mother, curse Nathaniel Alroy and his friend De Villiers, both are another name for ruthless creatures," 'What do you mean by a straight path of his life permanently?" She received bad omens about it yet left with no choice. She needed Nathaniel more than anything and was willing to reach any self-centered boundary and Zoran provided her with one. 'Kill my father, Guru. As long as that man will live, you can never have Nathaniel, mark my words," She shivered, 'Who?" 'Guru. No one is allowed to mention that name before you or him. He goes wild on it, ask any ace if you don't believe me," 'Why?" 'Because he doesn't want you to see his demonic nature. The reason why they are frightened of him, he doesn't kill. He tortures," 'If there is anyone Nathaniel wants to torture the most it's him. And killing him is the hardest task, you need an opening," And that opening was unintentionally provided by De Villiers. He didn't know that Zariah had already planned to kill Guru. 'The second you will kill my father, no strings will attach him to his traumatizing past and he will be all yours," 'Then why do I need you?" She scoffed only to receive an impish smirk from the man. 'My father is with me and I will only reveal him if you sign an agreement with me and give me De Villiers," 'But, De Villiers is his brother, his best friend, his right hand-" 'Exactly. And think carefully, if you won't, you can wait for another five or ten years for him to return, if he would," He offered. Pushing her towards questioning. Her heart skipped a beat, finding herself stuck momentarily. Averting her gaze, to anguish him intentionally was never favorable and moreover dragging De Villiers, it scared her. But- 'Think, Zariah, do you want him back? To be all yours? Completely yours with no strings attached?" Oh, how could she resist that irresistible offer? Defeated before the allure, selfish before her blazing core, requiring her beloved too much, she didn't care about the consequences. As long as she would get Nathaniel, she gave up. A long part of her life was wasted in love, she couldn't risk more. 'Okay… we have a deal,"