Chapter # 63

After Prince told him everything, the part of his memory twisted to be wiped was back and everything started making sense. Nodding continuously, he paused, taking deep breaths to gather his composure yet the distress gleaming was visible. 'Right, right, right, I remember now…" Curling his hand in a fist, the missing part of his life was completed and it felt terrible, worsening his state. 'I… asked De villiers when I regained my memories… that if Zariah had any connection… he said no… he said fucking no…" He shot a glare in Zariah's direction, immobilizing her when his body shifted to her, hissing at her. 'He was trying to save you…" And then his steps outrageously stopped before Zariah whose breaths hitched. Afraid of him, her steps stumbled when he moved to her. 'He manipulated my memories so I won't hate you… I kept saying she has connections but no, he refused…" 'Nathaniel-" Prince attempted to come in between but those bloodshot eyes indicated that any interruption would be permanently erased. 'Don't, don't you dare to say anything now," His eyes stopped scanning her remorseful and frightened form, hands in his pockets, observing her state. 'I remember it all now… you were there but I got shot… when I woke up… I neither remembered you nor Alice…" A strange scary yet dominant aura fumed when he bent his body forward. Instinctively, out of apprehension, she was about to move back but without a warning, he grabbed her shirt, yanking her forward roughly. 'Nothing but your eyes…" 'Please, I didn't mean this, not now or before, I was following a order from my father else would I-" 'This- this is all YOUR fault that he is dead!" Mind drowned in the deepest depth of dismal and rage, he pushed her back, body shaking that two people he genuinely cared about were dead with her involvement. 'You killed him and her! You are their murderer! Are you happy now!? What love were you trying to prove by hurting me!?" His broken tone spilled the ache she concealed. Keeping her eyes locked on the ground, she dared to release a soft whisper. 'I am sorry, I am so sorry," Unable to watch her brother go wild, Cinzel came in between, holding Zariah supportingly. 'Nathaniel, please, she is shot too, don't blame her, she didn't know about Alice," 'Don't blame her? Not only did she get my Alice killed, she did the same to my best friend too!" He snapped, increasing her dread by enunciating before everyone. 'It's her fault they got captured in the first place. That woman gave my friend to Zoran," 'What…?" Staggered, Cinzel glanced at Zariah's confirmation and her ashamed orbs gave her the reply. Nathaniel roughly grabbed her arm so she wouldn't hold onto Cinzel to gain her sympathy that had her wince in pain accompanied by tears gleaming in the corner. 'Were you that desperate? Is that what you wanted? Me? But, at what cost? Ravaged? Hurt? Disappointed?" 'I am sorry, I didn't realize… I became puerile, all I wanted was you back, I didn't notice the cost and I am ashamed," Clasping his shirt between her fingers, emotions transparently shining in her once dead orbs, requiring nothing but his embrace. How much being his culprit fragmented her, he could read it and it drained his energy. Those narrowed eyes, the grip on him, frail resonance, all of it conveyed words failed to do so. 'But, I promise, I tried to save him, I could never let the one you adore die, you have to trust me," Yet rejecting that, he slapped her hands away, maintaining a fair but the space failed to conceal the way his hands trembled as a sign of lost posture. 'Then why the fuck did you take De Villiers to him without informing me?!" Incapable of holding within, she cried a little, '... I didn't want you to hate me," And to ravage her absolutely, he decided to announce what she was scaring the most. 'I-" Growling, pointing his finger at her, he almost uttered but he knew he would be lying. Back then at Alice's time, in mourning, he might be able to do it but not anymore- not after the day they got married. It would be an insult towards what they went through. 'I-" Yet he foolishly tried. Defenceless, discard the extent of wrath, he could never enunciate those words. He tried so damn hard, all futile. 'Fuck!" Cursing out of frustration, he moved back, scowling continuously yet it didn't cease his wrath. Nothing helped in subduing the ache. After taking a few moments, he returned her a glare, at least to leave a heartbreaking impact. 'Don't show me your face," An inaudible gasp left, rejecting such a harsh punishment and held his arms wretchedly. He averted his gaze, piercing her heart by his mien. 'Don't do this to me, Nathaniel, you know I could never intentionally hurt you, don't be dejected from me," His silence would suffocate her; he knew that too. His lips quivered but making his fist rigid, he didn't greet her eyes as she pleaded with him. 'Please, please, please, don't walk on me, who do I have? What do I have left?!" To her sobbing, painful condition, he ripped his arm away from her and walked away, ignoring her. Clutching her dress, her mind felt light-head, her steps weakened that she fell on the couch. Breathless, devastated, she accepted her fault but to punish her by assaulting her most sensitive point- he knew it was cruel of him- still continued. 'Nathaniel, please!" Praying the sound of her wail would lessen his wrath but to no avail. And when nothing worked, she shut her eyes, conveying the news she wanted to deliver with inexplicable glee. Unfortunately doing with it explicable grief. 'I am pregnant!" He was about to hold the knob but his whole being stiff. Taking a brief moment to sink in her words and glanced over his shoulder. 'What?" 'I am pregnant, De Villiers knew this too," 'Stop lying," He growled, approaching her once again but shutting her eyes fretfully, she stammered. 'I am not, w-we were coming together to- to tell you and… th- this happened," Tears gleaming, she covered her mouth to suppress the sound, not daring to open her eyes and greet his enraged ones. 'Your anger is with me, I know I became selfish because I wanted you but please don't be dejected with me," To her begging, he placed his hand across her face. His hand coldly locked around her jaw, forcing her to open her eyes, they were anywhere but his inscrutable face. 'He was the only person permanent in my life, I lost everything, my family, my lover, all I had was that one friend, Zariah," He hissed. His grip tightened, slamming his hand beside her, scaring her to no extent at his extensive level of wrath, drying her throat in fear. 'AND YOU TOOK HIM AWAY TOO!" She apologized between her sob, 'I am sorry, I didn't mean to let this happen," 'Can your ‘sorry' bring back De Villiers?" 'We were coming together… to tell you… Zoran said he will tell you, I didn't want to disappoint you, I didn't want to hurt you again," Panting, she explained everything, holding his wrist weakly when his fingers imprint a red mark. Glaring into her soul that made her heart thump madly against her ribcage. 'So.. So I thought, I will play along and get him free but Zoran shot me," His jaw clenched, shifting his hand to her hair, bringing their faces dangerously close to ensure she won't break the deadly eye-contact. 'And you did all the stunts while being pregnant too," He scowled, more upset with her. 'I just didn't want you to hate me, I can't bear it, I have already lost you, I couldn't… I just couldn't, I am sorry, I am so sorry about Alice and De Villiers," 'Zariah." Growling at her face, overflowing with extensive fury, his eyes coldly contemplated her state. So forlorn to convince him. Explicitly aware, his nature didn't allow the tiniest shred of compassion. Shedding a tear, ripping himself away from her, he repeated his words. 'Not only you have hurt me, betrayed me by helping Zoran, you have disappointed me too," 'No, no, no, please-" 'Don't show me your face," His steps retreated, leaving her an agonizing, crying mess where her life stumbled by her own hands.